You Missed It: In a hole edition

They didn’t send their best people.

It’s a new year. And with each new year come hopes of things to change for the better, as if the change of a digit on the calendar means that anything will be different from just a short time before. The world’s not going to get better unless you do something about it. I mean you, dear reader, because I’m not going to do anything. There’s beer to drink. If you were busy wearing black to an award show this week, odds are you missed it.

Norway deemed not a sh&$hole
This week, President Donald Trump made disparaging remarks about Haiti and African nations during a meeting with Congressional leaders on immigration issues. Trump asked why people from “sh&$hole countries” are being let in to the U.S., and why we can’t let in more people from Norway. Mr. President, the Norwegians had their chance. They came here 1,000 years ago and got kicked out. By your definition, they are a country of losers.

New year, new diet
Coca-Cola announced this week that it would be rolling out a new line of Diet Coke flavors later this month in a bid to boost its faltering sales. The flavors will be “twisted mango,” “zesty blood orange,” “feisty cherry,” and even “ginger lime,” which Coke says will be made with real redheads.

Heavy is the head
In a rare interview, Queen Elizabeth II remarked that one of her crowns weighs several pounds. She said it is so heavy that she can’t tilt her head down while wearing it because it would break her neck. So look for that exciting drama in season 28 of The Crown on Netflix.

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