Science strikes another blow against industry, this time at that calendar store in the middle of the mall between the Sunglass Hut and the Dead Sea Salt pushers! Astrophysicist Richard Conn Henry and applied economist Steve Hanke have devised a calendar that simplifies the year so that each date will always fall on the same day of the week. Imagine:
- MLB’s Opening Day always the same day of the year (barring any labor disputes)!
- Hanukkah remaining a wild card that could happen anytime, while Christmas follows the yearly rigmarole, Sunday, December 25th, every year. *sigh*
- Arbor Day — whenever the f@%k that is, only scheduled!
Yes, indeed, they’ve simplified it. No more counting months on your knuckles to figure out which months have 31 days. Now it’s every third month! And Leap Year? Forget about it. No more February 29th every four years! Instead, they’ll merely add an entirely unaccounted-for week at the end every fifth or sixth December.
Say goodbye to confusion (except when you’re trying to fill a mystery week that may be this year or next year), and say hello to having to justify buying a new calendar when last year’s Playmates are perfectly fine … just old.
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