We all know it’s Christmas time, and in less than a week, Santa Claus will be making his rounds. Naturally, the jolly old elf has been popping up in kinds of places. Here’s what Chris Kringle has been up to:
Getting shot at. All he was doing was trying to get a head start, but haters wouldn’t let him. St. Nick was flying by helicopter over an impoverished community outside of Rio de Janeiro, dropping presents down to them, when drug dealers, apparently not filled with Christmas spirit, shot at him. The helicopter flew back to the pad, and Santa finished his gift route by car.
Getting even. Last year, it seems Santa took his suit to get dry cleaned at a place in New Jersey. Obviously, that was his first mistake. The company lost his suit, but offered to pay for half of its worth. After a court battle this year, Father Christmas himself won the rest in small claims court. He alerted the media recently as he arrived at the dry cleaners, in full costume, to collect the money. Ho ho ho!
UPDATE: Getting groped. “‘The security officer at the mall said Santa Claus has been sexually assaulted,’ police Detective Lt. Thomas Michael said of the weekend complaint.”