Sure, it may be New Year’s Eve, but there is a lot to follow up on after The Guys took last week off. In fact, there is just plain too much to catch up on, so let’s focus on the Christmas happenings.
Drunken Santas ravage New Zealand
Don’t you just hate it when people talk during a movie? Don’t you just hate it when a gang of drunken Santas runs through your movie theater yelling profanities? Just such a thing happened the weekend before Christmas.
Yes, Santa Claus came to town, but he had apparently cloned himself 50 times over and stopped at every bar on his way from the North Pole. Filled with Christmas spirits, the Santas Claus ran through the theater, yelling obscenities, ripping down posters and knocking over cardboard promo thingies.
Since nearly every story we cover about New Zealand involves public intoxication and running through the streets dressed in a strange manner, this blog is seriously considering relocating to the island nation.
Key quote: “Security cameras caught the action, but Rive said with their hats, white beards and suits, the rampaging Santas cannot be identified.”
Christmas cards from beyond the grave
Sure, Sean Taylor will play posthumously in the Pro Bowl this season, but what if someone died but still sent out Christmas cards? Chet Fitch did that, so this blog must assume his undead state has not completely ravaged his mind.
Fitch sent over 30 Christmas cards this year in what the media cover-up is calling a “practical joke.” The liberals over at FOXNews are saying they were actually mailed by a friend, in a plot that took more than 20 years to finally put in place. We all know what the real story is: zombies are out there and mainstream media is buying the so-called federal government’s lame excuse for a logical explanation.
When will they admit that zombies are out there and are trying to get in our good graces by sending us cards?