For years, science has been threatening us with unleashing one of our long-vanquished foes, the woolly mammoth. And luckily for humanity, it hasn’t happened yet, but it’ll be a reality by 2019. At a conference this week, the leader of a team of Harvard University researchers boasted that his people are just a couple years … Continue reading Woolly mammoth will return by 2019, researcher says
For nearly as long as this blog has existed, we’ve warned against cloning wooly mammoths. Now it seems that our worst fears are closer than ever to becoming a reality. Harvard geneticist George Church, sworn enemy to all humanity, has basically spliced enough wooly mammoth DNA, filled in with a little modern Asian elephant DNA where … Continue reading Science plans to kill us all with wooly mammoths
Mankind drove the wooly mammoth to extinction thousands of years ago (save for the one seen only by a hallucinating giant bird on a kid’s television show), it’s one of our earliest victories in the War on Animals. However, we may need to go back and finish the job. A new video, reportedly shot last … Continue reading The wooly mammoth lives! Maybe
Avid readers of this site will know that The Guys aren’t ones to sound the alarm over any old thing. But today we suggest you make your peace with your maker. Things are about to get bumpy. Scientists are about to move a recently-discovered virus that’s lain frozen and buried in Siberian permafrost. The virus … Continue reading Scientists unearth 30,000-year-old virus, doomsday imminent
We’ve said it for years, and we’ll say it again: don’t try to clone a wooly mammoth. Now, why exactly did we bring that up? Because a mammoth tusk was found in Seattle. Of course, you might be saying to yourself, “That’s just a tusk. There’s nothing to worry about.” But again, it was found … Continue reading This can only end in tear … stained tusk gorings
I’m no film critic, and people don’t follow how I point my thumb. What I am is a comic book fanboy of more than 25 years. And for me, Man of Steel is the Superman movie I’ve always wanted to see, but never thought I would. So yeah, I liked it. A warning: this will … Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Man of Steel’
Frozen mammoths are back! Wait, correction, no they’re not. Nope, never mind, their blood cells are back. Hold on, it now seems that the frozen blood cells are liquid. We at SeriouslyGuys don’t actually know what’s happening with the newly discovered frozen mammoth blood cells, but we can only assume they’re made of alcohol. While … Continue reading It’s the cherry cordial of biological science
Jurassic Park is finally here. We’ve been telling you for quite some time that scientists are hellbent on recreating life that went extinct ages ago, particularly the wooly mammoth. But now, they’ve finally done it. A species long-dead has been brought back to life once more, and it’s a plant. (Hey, Jurassic Park had ancient … Continue reading The older the berry
Foolish as it may seem, I don’t believe everything I see in commercials. For instance, when InventHelp says that the guy who invented the Splash Wash, a car wash for kids, by watching children play, I find it hard to believe he wasn’t masturbating at the time. Or that the woman’s whose hair is blown … Continue reading Take it from Snee: As Seen in the Paleolithic
As we’ve been telling you for years, those crazy scientist bastards are hellbent on not just saving the animals, but bringing back ones we defeated thousands of years ago. Scientists are now saying that they think they could clone a woolly mammoth within five years. They’re not just talking hypothetically this time, they’re for real. … Continue reading More retro than hipsters
