After years weeks of trying to find a candidate that can beat President Barack Obama in the 2012 election, Gallup has delivered one that finally ties in poll numbers: Generic Republican Candidate.
Yes, Generic Republican Candidate! It slices tax rates and dices spending! It prays using only widely-accepted Western practices! It demonstrates high school graduate proficiency of the English language and American history!
Just open Generic Republican Candidate’s can, and use an ordinary hair dryer to remove the wrinkles from its flag pin-adorned suit and power tie in mere seconds! It comes with everything you see here and an unassailable military record!
Generic Republican Candidate: You can trust it because it’s clearly labeled “Made in America.”*
*Parts made in China, assembled in India and delivered by Mexicans.
this is rad sneezy! X