Alabama is trying to have sex with me

The criminal justice system in Alabama has always been interesting — so interesting, in fact, that it got a Best Actress Academy Award for Marisa Tomei.

Today, the Good Ol’ Boy Network just took on an entirely new meaning.

Former Mobile County Circuit Judge Herman Thomas has been arrested, accused by a grand jury of “borrowing” male inmates and coercing them into sexual play like paddling and whipping. Court documents include references to inmates’ tales of paddlin’s and old fashioned sexu’l encounters in Thomas’ office.

Thomas’ attorney, Robert Clark, calls these charges a “high tech lynching,” an attempt by “right-wing Republicans” to get rid of “the only black circuit judge we’ve ever had in Mobile County.”

Our Position:
If either sides’ allegations prove true, then it’s time to let Alabama secede from the Union again and get swallowed up by Mexico. At least their judges only take cash bribes.