Almost had ’em

The war has taken many sharp turns. A few wins here for us, and a few here and there for the animals. But we let our key victory slip right through our hands. The grizzly bear was on the verge of extinction. That’s right kids, our little war nearly wiped out an entire species. But recent findings have shown the bears to be rebounding in an astonishing fashion.

Fact: there are 765 grizzlies in the northwest part of Montana. Now how safe do you feel?
Fact: they will steal your pic-a-nic basket.
Fact: they have been migrating to golf courses.
Fact: they have hacked our airline system and are learning to fly. Unconfirmed reports have the bears going under the guise of “Bear-Qaeda.”

8 thoughts on “Almost had ’em”

  1. These bears are no necessity. We shouldn’t have to bear these bears any longer. In fact, it’s time to lay bare the enormous death toll they inflict on people.


  2. Found blog based on reference from CNN article on same:

    I really can’t believe the article says they can be taken off the endangered species list because there 768 bears. WTH? 768??? not 76,000, not 760,000, but 768? Are they kidding?

    Perhaps McCain said it was a ridiculous expenditure because there are still too few bears. No need to count them in order to take them off the endangered list, if you have to spend 4.5 million dollars and can only find 760+ bears. He was right! And they should still be considered endangered. More bears then the last 30 years? Wow that’s so insignificant of a comment it’s laughable if it weren’t a cryable sham.

  3. Both the article upon which this perspective is based, and some of the associated comments I’ve seen around the net are focused upon extremely errant information … And politicizing this is nothing more than another frantic arrow fired from the bow of those wanting to blame an individual for their (intentionally?) false assertions.

    Any brown bear populations inhabiting the interior of Alaska, British Columbia, Alberta, the Yukon, and Northwest Territories are considered to be grizzlies (Ursus arctos horribilis). The populations mentioned above are the populations in NORTHWESTERN MONTANA. That’s a small fraction of a single state. It fails to mention populations of the EXACT SAME SPECIES throughout Canada and Alaska.

    But moreover, the various subspecies of the Brown Bear enjoy very healthy populations. Except for a very experienced bear hunter or a true bear scientist, I would challenge anyone to readily discern (in a real life visual circumstance) between an American Brown Bear and a: Siberian Brown Bear (Ursus arctos collaris); or a Kamchatka Brown Bear (Ursus arctos beringianus).

    What I’m saying is that those who are commenting ought to get off their stupid political jabs and actually look at the REAL scientific evidence regarding these amazing animals. Believe it or not, this is not about John McCain who opposed this or that, nor is it about Obama, who failed to support OR oppose most of the things presented to him for a vote.

    It’s about the bears. It’s about nature. Here’s one for the emotionally charged pseudo-scientists: Have you heard that Palin’s entrance into the race has caused endangered male Donkey-Mice to start having heated convulsions? It’s a Mini-Mouse Global Warming Not Really Sexist Epidemic.

    It’s not really scientific. But it is Liberal.

  4. Michael,

    So this bear crisis is unbearable? Not only that, but we forgot to count the bears found in and around the Bering Strait? Did I get the bearings of your point?


  5. Simple math shows it cost us about $10,000 to count each bear, 350 of which we already knew about! Thats not a waste of money at all, thats a good deal! Most bear counting services will charge you upwards of $20,000 per bear counted, so really, we saved money on this! And it’s not like there’s people starving or going homeless during a housing crisis, so there’s really nothing else to do with our money but spend it on counting bears.

    (The study would’ve actually been done with in 5 weeks, but everytime they got up in the 400’s they would get distracted and lose count, so they had to start all over again.)

  6. Quinten hits it right on the head, it cost $6,500 to count each bear in this study. What a waste of money. All they did was get some hippies to go on a four year camping trip in Montana and paid them handsomely, as long as they got some DNA samples from some bears. Now they are going to pay $10 million to have another team of hippies verify if the first team of hippies were smoking too much dope. Then again I could care less how the government spends my hard earned tax dollars, as long as they don’t raise them.

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