This is not a link to some other news item: this is a SeriouslyGuys exclusive news bulletin. I would suggest that you swallow any liquids in your mouth that could damage your monitor before reading further.
Is that coffee sip in Digestion Land now? Good.
Not one (1) channel broadcasted “1776” yesterday for our Independence Day. Perhaps it’s only in Alabama where they can’t handle all the “slavery-is-a-moral-disgrace-despite-its-economic-necessity-in-the-South” parts. I’d like to think it was aired somewhere, but I have DirectTV, so fat chance.
So if American television networks–networks that call themselves “National” and “American” like ABC and NBC–cannot salve my annual musical fix, then I submit that they must change their names, and the terrorists may or may not have won.
A person is truly not a patriot unless they’re dubbed as such by Rick Snee. Truly.
In the words of Fozzie, “Patriotism swells in the heart of the American bear.”
For my money, singing forefathers is about as American as apple pie or “The Passion of the Christ.”