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In a really confusing marketing campaign that frankly has The Guys wondering whether we should stay smoke-free or start up, Phillip Morris International has started off 2018 with a Cheddar Bob style self-inflicted wound. The company’s marketing campaign is encouraging their customers not to smoke.

Let us repeat that in all caps, A TOBACCO CONGLOMERATE IS TELLING PEOPLE TO STOP USING THEIR PRODUCT. No word yet as to whether Kraft is going dairy-free or Jack Daniel’s is telling people to sober up, but we will keep you posted.

For as much as the Pittsburgh Steelers pride themselves on being a button up organization and keeping drama away from the team, these past few years have been pretty banner. From Le’Veon Bell not being able to keep his pipe nose clean, to Martaivis Bryant not being able to prefer to catch a ball over a high, to Antonio Brown’s Facebook Live fiasco, things have been less than tame.

Leave it to Offensive Coordinator, Todd Haley to put the exclamation point on all of this though. While at a New Year’s Eve celebration at Tequila Cowboy (you can’t make this stuff up, folks), Haley shattered his pelvis during a “incident.” Haley could not be reached for comment as to whether or not this is the most awesome way to get on an injury report.

Since I started really being cognizant of sports, and I’ll put this time right around 1994, few stories have dominated the landscape of sports and pop culture quite like the saga of O.J. Simpson. I mean, let’s face it, few people have had the enigmatic draw that Simpson has had, for good or for bad (yes, I know when it comes to The Juice, it’s almost always been bad, but c’mon) he’s a draw that you just can’t turn away from the story.

Last week, Simpson got kicked out of a Las Vegas hotel bar after becoming drunk and unruly, breaking glasses, and while not confirmed, we can only hope he was screaming out “DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!?!” When Simpson is in the news, and specifically for making a drunk mess out of himself, this just leads to a better news cycle and a better day for all of us. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Don’t Call It A Comeback

Yes, the NBA Finals have not been the epic battle we were anticipating going into the rubber match between the Golden State Warriors and Cleveland Cavaliers. But folks, please do not panic, at least not yet.

Last year we were in the same boat, with Golden State winning games one and two by a combined 58 points, so, I’m not ready to write this series off yet, for a couple of reasons. First off, Kyrie Irving is not going to play this badly for an entire series, his previous playoff history shows us that he will bounce back. Secondly, Kevin Durant and Steph Curry have been shooting lights out through two games, the moment one of them goes cold is when this is going to become a series. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Don’t get ahead of yourself

The funny thing about the saga that has become Tiger Woods, is that we keep finding ourselves surprised that he’s not the same golfer or person we saw from 1995-2008. The one who mowed down the competition, was easily the most marketable athlete on the planet and also kept his personal life extremely private. Yet, from November 2009 on, he hasn’t been the same, in any capacity, he’s been a train wreck, and it’s time we stopped being surprised or holding him to the same standard he crafted up until the time of the ’08 housing crisis.

No, Woods was not under the influence of alcohol when police found him passed out at the wheel at a stoplight in Jupiter, FL this past weekend, yes he was under the influence of his painkillers, including one that had not been produced since 2004. All in all, this was a story I would have thought would have come from Jon Daly, but it just seems to be the icing on the cake that started with him getting caught driving down the fairway in restaurant bathrooms with waitresses. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Down goes Tiger

We’re a couple of games away from the NBA Finals, which means we’ve been in the midst what is normally one of my favorite stretches of sports throughout the year, baseball is starting to get into swing and the NBA playoffs are normally must see TV. There’s just one problem, the league got too top heavy with Cleveland and Golden State, and the playoffs have just been awful. So, with that being said, here is what this god awful brand of basketball has taught us.

The disparity between Cleveland and Golden State and everyone else is disparaging
We have learned over the past seven years that as long as your team has LeBron James, you’re going to the Finals, and Golden State has just stacked up the most loaded team ever. What this leads to is the Cavs and Warriors getting bored in the regular season, then when it counts, they flex their muscle and absolutely floor every other team. The NBA is the only pro league where the best team always ends up winning. In a seven game series, you can’t just get hot enough to beat the better team. Continue reading Eat My Sports: NBA Playoffs hot takes

The Guys are close, not close enough to take each others’ ashes and send them down every MLB stadium urinal.

One man is that close with his friend.

Tom McDonald, had his lifelong best friend Roy Riegel pass away. So, he’s made his way to 16 MLB stadiums and flushed away his friend while the game is in progress. While we are all huge baseball fans, let’s just chalk this one up to weird, even for baseball fans.

We’re almost a week to the day of when I woke up to text messages from my friends starting at 6:30AM “dude, Aaron Hernandez committed suicide.” I have no earthly idea why, because quite frankly, it’s literally morbid curiosity that ever since I learned of the murder of Odin Lloyd almost four years ago, I have been absolutely fascinated with the story of Hernandez.

I think the thing I can most liken it to in our lifetime is the O.J. Simpson story. It got national headlines, has still to this day ever evolving storylines that you can’t believe and overall leaves you with the overwhelming feeling to keep asking “why?” Continue reading Eat My Sports: So, About That Aaron Hernandez …

Yesterday the NFL owners voted 31-1 (way to be a buzz kill, Miami) to approve the Oakland Raiders’ move to Las Vegas beginning in the 2019 season. And the move already is as awesome as it sounds. Not only will fans be able to legally bet on a NFL game they are attending, but there are ideas floating around like having a Raiders-themed brothel in Vegas.

NFL, you deserved this.

For a league that claims that it is all about player safety, protecting the shield and all that uppity garbage, you have to admit that the NFL is nothing but a greed factory looking for their next cash cow. So, why not move one of your most storied franchises to the city that is the living embodiment of what you are? Except, the NFL isn’t as fun as Vegas, one day I hope to have an actual experience there that backs that up. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Vegas, Baby!

Like many of you, I am freaking sick about hearing about how the Chicago Cubs won the World Series for the first time in 108 years in the Fall. The thing that made this particular brand of “oh Jesus, would you please just shut up” special was that due to social media, anyone who has ever even set foot in Chicago was a Cubs fan, and you were going to hear about it. You were going to see their brand new Cubs hat, which hasn’t been worn since November now, you were going to hear “RAISE THE W” from your relative who has never watched an inning of baseball in their life, all of this was going to ruin the Cubs.

Except, they had recent history to learn from. As a Red Sox fan, I know how much people have hated us since 2004. The minute that final out was recorded and 8 billion people wrote books about it (books, remember those?), we were screwed. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Learn From The Mistakes of Others