Author: Bryan McBournie

Spider-fuel

It seems like there are a lot of recalls going on these days, especially with cars (they announced one just this week!), well here’s something a bit more exciting than your run-of-the-mill stuck accelerator recall: If you drive a Mazda6, you could have spiders living in your fuel system.

Yeah, think about that, as you drive down the highway, reading this post on your cell phone. Kind of makes you want to pull over and scream, doesn’t it?

No one is really sure why the yellow sac (teehee) spider loves to live in the fuel system of that particular Mazda model, but it does, they have had 20 reported cases of it. It’s a fire hazard, which, as I understand it, is a bad thing. It seems that animals are tired of us killing them with our cars, so now they’re trying to kill us with them.

The English are out of control

You know what we haven’t had in a while? A celebrity go off the deep end, thus becoming a story you can’t escape. I think we’re about due for one, mark my words. That is, of course, unless the media refuses to take its eye off boring topics like those huge protests going on in the Middle East and Northern Africa.

So for now, here’s something to tide you over: In England, somewhere, the former head of Mothers Against Drunk Driving was arrested and charged with something called, “drink driving.” We’re not really sure what that translates to in American English, but can you imagine how ironic it would have been if she had been arrested for drunk driving. Imagine!

[via Jesse S.]

Like yourself on Facebook

Hey loser, are you feeling down about yourself? Lame. Well, you can always turn to the Internet to cheer yourself up. Well, yes, you can go to those sites, too, but we’re talking about Facebook.

Apparently, going through your own profile can help you boost your self-esteem, because you post the best parts of you there. So looking through it all, you are reminded of how smart, witty and good-looking you are–until you remember that your friends don’t actually care about your profile, and that they use Facebook for reasons as selfish as your own. Assuming you have friends at all, loser.

No dessert for you

If you were looking forward to having some boob-flavored ice cream, cancel your plane tickets.

The ice cream made from human breast milk that was to be sold at a London ice cream shop has been confiscated by health officials. That’s right, the world may never get to taste Baby Gaga ice cream. The food standards folks have to figure out if it’s safe for humans to eat something that they give to their babies.

The pool on when someone tries this in the U.S. is now open, gentlemen.

[via Consumerist]

The McBournie Minute: It’s good to get sick

I was so close. I nearly made it. I almost went the entire winter without having a significant illness. In case you are wondering, and missed You Missed It last Friday, there was no Minute last week not because I thought we had President’s Day off, but I was sick. Horribly, horribly sick.

I had the flu, which I came down with the Saturday of that weekend. I’m not talking about the give-me-some-Theraflu-and-tissues kind of flu, I’m talking about the get-the-hell-out-of-my-way-I-need-to-get-to-the-bathroom kind. And, of course, it had to happen to me on a weekend, when everyone else is out doing whatever they want. I was stuck listening to the television.

Ever wonder what it’s like to lie there and listen to National Treasure, it’s only slightly better than watching it. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: It’s good to get sick

Don’t drink and fry

If you work in the food industry, you probably hate humanity, but you do get to enjoy the little perks of the job, such as having access to some good food when you’re in a jam. In Minnesota, one man found the dark side of that.

A man was out enjoying his evening, enjoying some alcoholic beverages, when according to police, he broke into the Pizza Hut that he works at and began making himself some wings. The problem was that he tripped the security alarm, and police soon found him, allegedly cooking under the influence. He was three times over the legal limit.

You Missed It: Water veal edition

It never fails. If I come down with some horrible, nasty illness, it happens over the weekend, when I should be enjoying my time off. Then, I get better once the weekend is over. That’s what happened to me this past weekend, and also why my column wasn’t up on Monday. I was in bed or huddled over the toilet for my President’s Day weekend, so this time I’m going to do it right. I trust you’ll be right there with me. If you were busy meeting Wayne Gretzky this week, odds are you missed it.

Every spill has a silver lining
It was reported this week that nearly 60 dead baby dolphins have washed up on the shores of Mississippi and Alabama so far this year. Scientists believe that it has something to do with last year’s oil spill but they’re not certain of the cause. What is clear is that the price of dolphin burgers just crashed. Who’s hungry?

Starting young
Actor David Arquette said that one of his earliest memories was having a beer with his father when he was four years old. He told Oprah that this may have been part of why he began abusing drugs and alcohol. It, however, does not excuse his career. In any case, compared to Arquette, The Guys seem like late bloomers.

Getting friendlier in Hawaii
Hawaii joined a handful of other states this week when a bill legalizing civil unions for same-sex couples was signed into law. Finally, the University of Hawaii at Hilo can go back to being the Little Rainbows.

Like mother’s milk

Anyone who even casually reads this blog knows that The Guys are firmly in the pro-boob camp, why some of us even have boobs! But we’re split on the issue of breast milk. For example, Rick Snee lulls himself to sleep every night with cocktail of vodka, breast milk and the tears of young children (white Cossack), while the rest of us aren’t really sure we’re that thirsty at the moment.

But in London, there’s something we can all agree on: Ice cream made from breast milk. The Icecreamists restaurant is now serving a special kind of ice cream, made from the breast milk of 15 women, who apparently don’t want to feed their babies. Just don’t ask for any special toppings.

Beer: The wonder drug

It’s Thursday morning. That means it’s about time for a visit from Dr. Alcohol. If you’re like us, you’re counting the hours until Happy Hour (we actually span two time zones to extend the happiness). So as you prepare to drink away the memories of the week, drink to your health, and go for beer.

Beer, and we’re not making this up, is healthier than wine in a lot of ways, and not just for your image or teeth color.

Beer:

  • Is more hydrating than wine.
  • Reduces your chances of having kidney stones.
  • Retains bone density.
  • Provides a full day’s supply of vitamin B12.
  • Contains protein and fiber.

India is the Utah of Asia

If you’re a dude in India (in which case, why are you reading this blog?), and you’re wondering where all the chicks are, we found the answer. Some old guy is hogging them all.

A 66-year-old man in India has been busy. Ziona Chana has 39 wives and has fathered 94 children. Best of all, he may not be done yet. His whole family lives in a four-story building that has about 100 rooms, and the wives and daughters handle all of the household chores, while the sons do the farming.

Before you get all down on us for just not understanding other people’s cultures, the guy is Christian. And shockingly enough, the sect of Christianity he belongs to is A-OK with polygamy. He must have quite the Christmas list.