If you were planning your New Year’s Eve party around not being accountable for anything the next day, then Mayan experts have bad news for you: the Mayan calendar does not predict the end of the world.
According to university professors and Mexican national historians, the calendar does not the indicate the end of all time, just the end of the holy 13th baktun, “baktuns” being periods of 394 years. And, yes, Bolon Yokte, a Mayan god associated with war and creation, is scheduled to return, but he turns up every 13 baktuns like Billy Crystal at the Oscars. (And, as much as we’d like it, Billy Crystal’s return does not herald the end of the Academy Awards.)
But, if you still want to party like it’s 1999 and our computers are going to kill us all … fine, go ahead. Just trust us when we say, “Wear a rubber. Just to be safe.”