Category: A Word from Our Sponsors

An important precedent in middle school dating

So, according to the U.S. Supreme Court, if you want to strip search a teenage girl, you better make sure she’s likely to carry contraband.

That’s why SeriouslyGuys endorses Bad Girls.

Yes, Bad Girls, the girls guaranteed to have something incriminating on them.

They’re the Vice Principal’s best friend, but only because they spend so much time in your office!

Bad Girls are available in different flavors, including:

  • Menthol
  • Vanilla Vodka
  • Crystal Methamphetamine

Bad Girls: two out of three Clarence Thomases can’t be wrong!

Four Years Too Late! Buy it!

Today’s SeriouslyGuys is brought to you by Four Years Too Late!

Yes, Four Years Too Late: the miracle product that addresses fateful decisions too far back to change now. Use Four Years Too Late for anything, like:

  • Considering AA after your fourth DUI!
  • Quitting smoking after your lung cancer diagnosis!
  • Debating whether or not to suffocate your toddler with that pillow!

And if you order now, we’ll also send you Four Years Too Late Lite. It slices, it dices, it finds your keys when you’ve already given up and bought a new car!

Four Years Too Late: because MySpace could be cool again … right, Rupert Murdoch?

Swine Flu Madness!

Either way, the tummy ache is worth it.

Just a reminder: while only one person in the U.S. has died of swine flu, over 13,000 died from the regular-ass flu this year.

This message is brought to you by Purell.

UPDATE:
Ice cream cured patient zero, a little boy in Mexico.

This message is brought to you by Ben and Jerry’s Neato-Burrito flavored ice cream, now approved by the AMA.