Category: Booze News

| Posted in Booze News

Kentucky makes the smartest move they can actually make

Buildings tend to be pretty useful, especially if you’re a human. They can provide shelter for humans! That’s great stuff! But you know what deserves shelter even more than a few smelly humans?

Booze. Sweet, beautiful, delightful, delicious booze. And Kentucky does have some knowledge when it comes to booze. That’s why a boom for houses has happened in Bardstown … warehouses, that is (SEEHOWCLEVERIAMYOUGUYS?!!?). With the buildings going up, so too does employment for the area.

Truly, as a great philosopher once said: “alcohol: the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems.”

| Posted in Booze News

Time to get wrecked: Brewery recreates beer from 1842 shipwreck

Four years ago we told you about some beer and champagne from the 1840s that was found in a shipwreck at the bottom of the Baltic Sea near Finland. Then we told you when some of the champagne went up for auction a year later. Now, we’ve got another exciting update.

You can buy the beer. OK, well you can buy some beer that was recreated by Belgian scientists after analyzing the beer that had been chilling since 1842. They found what type of yeast was used and figured out it was from Belgium. Then they did their best to recreate the rest of the brew, because 170 years is too long for a beer to age, even a Belgian.

It can be yours for the reasonable price of $143, plus shipping, handling and duties.

| Posted in Booze News

If you’re an alcoholic, Essen will pay you in beer

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade–unless you’re in Germany, then make shandy.

That’s exactly what the city of Essen is doing in an attempt to make its alcoholic homeless more useful. Essen is putting its homeless to work by paying them in cash, as well as three beers, a meal and some cigarettes for cleaning up the city each day. Critics say it’s cruel to give an addict the thing he or she is addicted to as a form of payment, no matter what the substance, and that the program will make the city no better than a crack dealer.

To that, the city says, “Happy Oktoberfest!”

| Posted in Booze News

Because you should be able to drink on the job

In France, drinking is serious business. That’s why rail workers there are on strike to defend their right to drink on the job.

Let’s face it, trains are pretty boring. They pretty much drive themselves, and there’s no steering involved, so why not allow workers to have a nip now and then? Earlier this year two workers were caught sipping rum while directing trains and nearly sent one train in the wrong direction.

Aside from that, seems perfectly acceptable for these guys to drink on the job. This is why we have unions, folks.

| Posted in Booze News

Medieval town comes up with futuristic idea

Drinkers of the world: the future is now!

And by now, I mean a Belgian city that has kept its look for nearly five centuries.

The famed (or not so famed) De Halve Maan Brewery is located in Bruges. But baby, the city ain’t lookin’ so hot. Near constant driving by delivery trucks to and from the brewery has taken its toll, rumbling nearby its nearby canals and almost destroying its cobblestone streets. What’s a medieval city to do?

Put in a pipeline – a brewery pipeline, that is. The brewery will have the pipeline installed, allowing it to connect with a bottling factory while saving the rustic look of the city. The company’s director doesn’t think that anyone will be able to tap into the pipeline, but that’s never stopped a thirsty alcoholic.

| Posted in Booze News, That Wacky Australia, War on Animals

Get your own beer, boar!

Folks, we all know that animals are a threat to our safety, but it turns out that more importantly, they’re a threat to our booze.

In Australia, a wild boar got into some brews at a campground. By “some” we mean 18 beers. The beast then drunkenly went on a rampage, even fighting a cow, because apparently they have those at Australian campgrounds.

Of course, we know that cows and beer don’t mix, either.

| Posted in Booze News, It Must Be Science!

Drink yourself to fitness

If you would rather do 12-ounce curls at a bar than lift weights in a gym, science is here to make you feel good about your life choices.

According to a recent study, you can probably just have some wine to get the same benefits of working out. Resveratrol, a compound found in red wine, was found to improve heart function, as well as muscle strength, which you might notice are some benefits of exercising.

Even better, mix some vodka in with your sports drink when you go to the gym and get double the benefits.

| Posted in Booze News

Profiles in drunkenness: Gerard Depardieu

You probably haven’t seen one of Gerard Depardieu’s movies in a while. That’s partly because most of them are in French, and screw that, but it’s also because he’s drunk and doesn’t care what you think.

In a recent interview, the French actor said he drinks up to 14 bottles of wine per day, and often throws in some beer, vodka or whisky for good measure. He starts drinking at 10 a.m., which means every day is Sunday Funday at l’Chateau Depardieu.

He has also killed a couple lions, which is better than anything you’ve done sloshed.

| Posted in Booze News

Do you hate your friends enough to buy them a beer?

Then you can go home make a candle out of it, and weep for your lost dignity.
Then you can go home make a candle out of it, and weep for your lost dignity.

Remember back when Facebook had the “poke” feature? You could click the button on someone’s profile, and the next time they logged in, it would let them know that you poked them. Hours of fun!

Anheuser-Busch is taking all the fun of the poke and combining it with bros icing bros. If you live in Chicago or Denver, you can now send someone a voucher for a free Bud Light via Facebook. The genius of the prank is that it’s twofold. First, you end up hating your friend for suggesting you like terrible beer, then it wears you down, say after day, until you get desperate enough that to take that voucher to your local bar and humiliate yourself by turning it in.

Finally, you wallow in shame for what you’ve done as you nurse your free beer.