Category: Booze News

| Filed under Booze News

Moonshine tastes like air freshener, apparently

A Georgia man came home from one night to an unwelcome surprise: his estranged wife was sitting there in his house. But he didn’t have the worst surprise of the night.

The woman told her husband that she had grabbed a plastic bottle of moonshine labeled “apple cinnamon” from underneath his sink (apparently that’s where you keep the hootch), and started to feel dizzy after she drank some of it. Her husband then told her that it wasn’t moonshine. She had drunk car air freshener. She was rushed to the hospital.

For the record, it’s a lot easier to rhyme “turpentine” than “car air freshener.”

| Filed under Booze News

Wisconsin drinks rest of the U.S. under the table

If you’re an American and you enjoy drinking, you should move to Wisconsin, where you will always be among friends.

According to a recent study, cheeseheads are the biggest drinkers in the country, with 65.03% of residents there reporting having at least one drink in the past 30 days, 24% of Wisconsinites said they have had more than four drinks in a night in that period. Does 65% of people in a state having had a drink in the past month sound incredibly low to anyone else? Especially because that’s the highest in the country.

It’s worth noting that Washington, D.C. residents trailed close behind Wisconsin in both categories. The Guys are making a difference.

| Filed under Booze News, It Must Be Science!

If your eyes are blue, you’re probably not sober

Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, are you alcohol dependent? Now, look at the color of your eyes.

According to a recent study, if your eyes are blue, you have a higher chance of being dependent on drugs or alcohol. It’s not your eyes, it’s in your genes. Researchers found that people with blue eyes were more likely to have the gene that makes them hooked on booze, compared to those who have brown eyes.

Granted, if your eyes are red, you probably already know what you have.

| Filed under Booze News

Drunk athletes make unwatchable sports entertaining

Sure, the Women’s World Cup is going on right now, but the Swedes may have come up with a new national competition, albeit accidentally.

To raise awareness about the dangers of swimming while under the influence, a Swedish insurance company invited a men’s synchronized swimming team (apparently that’s a thing over there) to get drunk and try to perform one of their routines. It is even more entertaining than probably intended, despite the serious message at the end. (They use permille, to convert that, just move the decimal over. 1.4 permille equals 0.14%.)

What if we took serious sports that people only care about every few years, a did them drunk? What if we had a Drunk Olympics? Diving would be must-see, gymnastics would finally be watchable, and discus throw would be riveting, because you don’t know what direction the athlete will throw.

The Guys are making a formal call to organize this. Let’s hash it out at the bar.

| Filed under Booze News, It Must Be Science!

Coming soon: A pill that makes booze good for your liver

If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you know that an almost daily basis there’s another report extolling the health benefits of booze. But no one’s ever said drinking is good for your liver — until now.

Scientists in China have a made a discovery they say could one day lead to alcohol being good for your liver. Researchers say they have isolated a gene that allows the body to store the energy from booze as glycogen, rather than fat, which harms the liver. They say this could lead to a pill that can boost your PPP1r3G gene to store glycogen, making the only unhealthy part of bending an elbow actually beneficial.

It’s a brave, boozy new world.

| Filed under Booze News

Eat My Sports: D to the I to the D he do it?

I’m a fan of sports and a fan of music. My world and P.Diddy’s stopped crossing parallels round about when Keith Van Horn was drafted out of Utah and “Ill Be Missing You” was making everyone hate Daddy (at the time) for desecrating  Notorious B.I.G AND The Police. But it appears, since the first time since were merely freshmen, our worlds meet again, Mr. Combs.

One of P Dizzle’s sons is a DB and apparently cant play. Diddy, fresh off telling the cheerleaders that he had the lead track on a Godzilla album, didn’t like what one of the Bruins’ coaching staff members had to say, and well, Diddy went Diddy. Continue reading

| Filed under Booze News

140-year-old beer survived a failed trip to North Pole

There are beers that are just badass and deserve an audience with your mouth, like if they were on an expedition to the North Pole. Unfortunately, you’ll never have any.

In 1875, Sir George Nares set off on an expedition to reach the North Pole. And he needed to bring along enough provisions to keep his men fed during the dangerous trip. Also, he needed beer. He didn’t make it to the North Pole, and 140-years later, a bottle of beer from that expedition turned up in some guy’s garage in England, and no one knows how it got there.

No doubt, a sip from a mysterious bottle would give you a taste of the grit these adventurers had, and perhaps even give you an inkling into how the beer got from the Arctic Circle, back to England. The bottle sold for 600 pounds, or probably around the same amount in real American dollars. So you’ll just have to drink some other beer until you feel like you’re on a doomed expedition.

| Filed under Booze News

Iowa court upholds right to drink outdoors

Freedom is still alive and well — at least in Iowa — after a recent high court ruling.

There, the state Supreme Court ruled that your front porch is private property and cannot be considered a public place. Why should you care about that? Because it means you are allowed to be as drunk as you want on your own front porch, provided that you live in Iowa.

The Guys salute Patience Paye, who took her drunk in public conviction to the highest court in the state to make sure that she and her fellow Iowans could still breathe free air and drink freely. If your porch isn’t a public place, just think of all the other private activities that are legal there.

| Filed under Booze News, It Must Be Science!

Booze may do what medicine cannot

Once again, science may have found that alcohol is good for your health. This time, it’s mead.

Mead is a fermented drink mostly made from honey. It was all the rage with everyone from the Vikings to the Greeks back in the day. Now, researchers in Sweden are investigating whether mead’s mystical powers can kill harmful bacteria in you, all while getting you sloppy.

They have found that lactic acid bacteria found in bees’ honey stomachs can help kill off antibiotic-resistant bugs, so it’s possible that those magical properties have transferred to mead from the honey it comes from.

| Filed under Booze News, War on Animals

… He’s going to ask for some hooch

Give a chimp a termite, he'll eat for a day. Teach him how to fish for termites, he'll sit on a tree stump and drink palm wine all day.
Give a chimp a termite, he’ll eat for a day. Teach him how to fish for termites, and he’ll sit on a tree stump and drink palm wine all day.

In a startling follow-up to last week’s post, not only do chimps want cooked food (but won’t cook it themselves), they also want booze. Scientists in Guinea found chimps in the wild soaking up fermented palm sap with makeshift sponges made from chewed up leaves.

Not only are they drinking alcohol, but they’re drinking it people-style: to get drunk and sleep better.

‘Some individuals were estimated to have consumed about 85ml of alcohol,’ [said Dr Kimberley Hockings], ‘the equivalent to 8.5 UK units [approximately equal to a bottle of wine].’

‘[They] displayed behavioural signs of inebriation, including falling asleep shortly after drinking.’

Dear god. The only thing separating us from the animals now is meth, and that’s only because chimps can’t cook.