Category: Booze News

| Filed under Booze News, It Must Be Science!

Your local bar improves your quality of life, study finds

Drinking alone can be fun, you don’t have anyone to judge you, you can do whatever you want while you drink, and there aren’t any jerks to deal with like at your local watering hole. But drinking alone isn’t a good habit to fall into. Fortunately, science is here to encourage you to go to the bar.

According to researchers at Oxford University, having a local pub to hang out at generally makes you happier. It’s amazing what science can teach us today. It turns out that social interaction, like that you can find at your local hole-in-the-wall, makes you feel more satisfied with your life. And the drinks almost certainly help that.

This makes sense, since we learned recently that drinking with your friends can help stave off Alzheimer’s. So go out tonight and have some drinks with those guys you know, the life you save could be your own.

| Filed under Booze News

Virginia goes on a bender

Thanks, Nature!
Thanks, Nature!

The Guys all live in Virginia, which is supposed to be hit with a big snow storm over the weekend. You know that we have all taken the proper precautions to ensure our safety, but you may not realize how much of an effect we have on our fellow Virginians.

In getting ready for the storm, people have been stocking up on the essentials, namely, liquor. Stores throughout the state, especially in Richmond, are selling out of hooch because so many people are stocking up for the weekend blizzard.

We’re thrilled to have inspired so many people. We all stocked up earlier this week, and don’t plan on being without a drink in hand until Monday morning at the earliest.

| Filed under Booze News, It Must Be Science!, War on Animals

Wasps make your booze a reality, study says

We’ve been fighting the War on Animals for a long time. The goal isn’t to wipe animals off the face of the Earth, just mostly so. If we killed them all, we’d be forced to go vegetarian, and there is no darker fate. But now it seems that there’s one more animal we can’t live without: wasps.

According to a recent study, a species of yeast commonly used in making beer and wine can live and reproduce in the guts of wasps. Researchers say that there might be different varieties of the yeast because of cross-breeding inside the insects. Each yeast lends its own flavor to the alcohol it makes.

It seems wasps may be the drunkest species on the planet.

| Filed under Booze News

North Korea totally invented a hangover-free liquor, you guys

We have long awaited this day. Every boozer that has ever lived has dreamed of seeing it happen. The Guys want to salute North Korea for inventing a liquor that doesn’t give you a hangover.

Sure, North Korea may have lied about successfully testing a hydrogen bomb recently. And we’re still waiting on proof that they invented a single drug that cures AIDS, Ebola, MERS and SARS, but it seems like we should trust them on this one. According to state-controlled media reports, a ginseng-based liquor has been made with scorched, glutinous rice instead of sugar, which is supposed to eliminate hangovers. The drink was called by North Korea media as “suave,” which should go to show that someone needs to pay their English translators better.

Hopefully Kim Jong-Un will send us a case for our review, until then, we’ll have to take his word for it.

| Filed under Booze News, War on Robots

Robots want to take your drinking buddies’ jobs

Do you drink alone? Pretty much everyone does at some point or another. But some of us make it a habit — not because we want to, but because we don’t have any drinking buddies around. The wonderful future has come up with an invention that’s even sadder than drinking alone: drinking with a robot.

One Christmas, South Korean Eunchan Park was drinking alone, when he came up with the idea for Drinky, the robot that drinks with you. It’s basically just half a robot torso, with a head and arms, sitting on top of a mason car. The robot pours the booze from its glass into its mouth and into the jar, so at least you don’t waste your liquor.

Now you can have a robot drink you under the table. Or you could just go find a bar.

| Filed under Booze News

Man fights personal war on boss’ cars

There are probably better ways at getting back at your boss.

A man in England got drunk and crashed his boss’ car two different times. The first one, a Land Rover, happened earlier this year. He was arrested and charged, as he should have been, but he wasn’t done yet. A month later, authorities say he stole his boss’ other car, a Mini (apparently his boss doesn’t like mid-size cars) and crashed it into three parked cars, while drunk.

The man was just sentenced to two years in jail this week, removing the potential for an awkward office Christmas party.


| Filed under Booze News

Booze with your friends to avoid Alzheimer’s

Unfortunately, drinking can also lead to this.
Unfortunately, drinking can also lead to this.

Drinking may make the night seem a little fuzzy the next day, but it might help with your memory later in life.

Researchers in Denmark have found that moderate drinking, which we interpret as “more than light drinking” seemed to help subjects lessen the risk of death due to early stages of Alzheimer’s disease. We’ve known for a while now that booze is good for your heart and helps ward off other age-related health problems, but this is the first time it’s been linked to fighting Alzheimer’s.

The researchers said one possible reason this works out is that people are generally social when the drink, and social interaction has been shown to help keep brains healthy. So don’t just drink to your health alone in your apartment, go out to a bar.

| Filed under Booze News

A tree pours beer in London

Some holiday magic landed in London last Friday. The bad news is that the holiday cheer is already dried up.

Carlsberg, a brand of beer you’ve probably seen on soccer jerseys, set up a Christmas tree along the Thames River in London on Friday. This wasn’t just any Christmas tree, it came with a gift for everyone: the gift of free beer. For seven hours, Londoners got to drink free beer. We can only assume that this led to other holiday traditions in England, such as throwing up in the street and getting into fistfights.

Here’s hoping for the Christmas miracle to make it here to the U.S.

| Filed under Booze News, It Must Be Science!

Secret to looking young: Drinking

The secret to looking young isn’t in your medicine cabinet, it’s in your liquor cabinet.

According to a new study, if you want to hit the pause button on aging, you should have a drink. Researchers measured the wear and tear of life on a person’s body, and their actual age. They found that subjects who drank once or twice a day aged at a slower pace than those who didn’t drink. However, if you drink heavily and smoke, it’s like hitting the fast forward button on your body.

Our interpretation is that you’ll slow your aging process if you drink heavily, but lay off the smoking. The Guys will live forever.

| Filed under Booze News, War on Animals

Polar bears love red wine

When you’re out in the wild, you’re often at the mercy of nature. And even in large groups, not even your booze is safe.

A film crew from BBC (it’s not “Dr. Who” or “Downton Abbey,” so we won’t bother naming the show) was shooting somewhere way up North. When they returned to their cabin, they found that a polar bear had broken in and stolen some food. The beast later came back while the crew was in the cabin, and in a brazen act, took nearly all of the food left, plus the red wine they had.

We can only assume the polar bear now has purple all over its mouth, so it should be easy to catch.