Health food
Posted on August 31, 2010
Filed Under Booze News | Leave a Comment |
Yesterday we learned that because you drink, you will outlive your sober peers, even though we are not sure why. We aren’t talking moderate drinkers, we’re talking about the heavy lifters. So, logic dictates that the more you can drink, the better you are.
So, if alcohol is healthy, what could be healthier than fried beer? The world was just an OK place to live–until the recent invention of such an item. Now, you can have your beer deep fried inside a ravioli-type thing, slice it open, and drink up.
Who doesn’t love their beer piping hot?
Written by Bryan McBournieTo long life!
Posted on August 30, 2010
Filed Under Booze News, It Must Be Science! | Leave a Comment |
If you ever pulled a muscle from excessive birthday toasting, then it will come as no surprise to you that drinkers outlive non-drinkers.
Why? Nobody knows. The raw data just indicates that teetotalers tend to die sooner than heavy drinkers, while moderate drinkers will inherit the best seats in the bar when they’re both gone.
Our personal theory? Drunken stasis.
Just like in the movie Alien, drunkards enter a deliberate low-metabolic state–or black-out. When one emerges from the blackout, they find themselves several hours, days or even years into future, though the trip passed in an instant for them.
The world of the future is frightening, bright and loud. It may take several hours to recover from their time jump, know as a hangover. That time is best spent rehydrating with Gatorade and learning what history you missed while out.
The only danger is of staying in stasis too long and awaking in a world populated by damn dirty apes! And no more Jameson’s.
Written by Rick SneeLooking forward to conjugal visits
Posted on August 27, 2010
Filed Under Booze News | Leave a Comment |
Folks, there is one thing that The Guys do not endorse mixing with alcohol: pills ice cream cake getting married. Sure, it’s fun to drink after the ceremony, just ask Scott Stapp, but drinking beforehand may get you into trouble.
One bride got arrested and charged with DUI a matter of hour before her wedding. Sure, she had not planned on drinking so much, or even partying as hard as she did, but it was a bachelorette party, and what looks better in wedding photos than bloodshot eyes and a pale completion? The good news is that she was processed and made it home in time for the wedding. Cheers!
Written by Bryan McBournieFine, but is the cat dead?
Posted on August 20, 2010
Filed Under Booze News | Leave a Comment |
Graeme Swann, who is a star “spinner” for what we’re told is a sport called “cricket,” was pulled over for drunk driving because his cat got stuck in the floorboards of his home.
Well, first he was pulled over for driving a Porsche in a s#@tty neighborhood. Then he apparently sounded drunk when trying to explain to the officer that his cat had crawled into his house’s floor.
A blood test confirmed that he was 3 mg over the legal limit, but milligrams are as foreign to us as a sport where players dress like picnickers in Mary Poppins. So, we have no idea if he was really smashed or just booze-ness casual.
The story also fails to mention if the cat is still stuck in the floorboards.
Written by Rick SneeBut if you don’t drink it, what’s the point?
Posted on August 20, 2010
Filed Under Booze News | Leave a Comment |
We here at SG are fans of the drink, especially when it comes to steins and the beer that fills them. However, even we have to admit, we would intentionally lose a beer stein holding contest. The same cannot be said however for Wisconsins’s governor GOP candidate Mark Neumann, who held his frosty brew for a grand total of five minutes, or as we call it, five minutes in hell.
Written by Bryan SchoolsFill up the tank getting tanked
Posted on August 18, 2010
Filed Under Booze News | Leave a Comment |
Normally, cars and alcohol don’t mix, unless you’re talking about a minibar in the back of a limo, in which case, it’s awesome. But aside from that exception, they’re not a good combination. Until now.
In Scotland (of course), scientists have created a new type of fuel for cars, and it’s made from whisky. OK, well it’s not a car that runs on booze, there’s just no way that would be economic, and besides, it would be wasteful. They actually use the byproducts from distilling hootch. On top of that, it puts out more power than ethanol.
Look at it this way, the more you drink, the cleaner our air could be.
Written by Bryan McBourniePut down the bottle when seeking a job
Posted on August 16, 2010
Filed Under Booze News | Leave a Comment |
As it turns out, you shouldn’t drink during a job interview.
That’s exactly what science tells us. Even though it improves your vocabulary, American bosses look down on you when you order alcohol while being interviewed–in a dinner setting, that is. If you’re having your job interview in the office conference room and you order a drink, your potential employer may think you are needy. Model workers bring their own sauce with them.
Of course, if you offer them some hootch, it’s certain you’ll get in their good graces.
Written by Bryan McBournieScotch, scotch, scotch, I love scotch
Posted on August 13, 2010
Filed Under Booze News, That Wacky New Zealand | Leave a Comment |
Leave it to New Zealand to find a 100-year-old bottle of Scotch … AND NOT OPEN IT!
Written by Bryan SchoolsColder than ice cold beer
Posted on August 12, 2010
Filed Under Booze News | Leave a Comment |
“Hot enough out there for ya?” Now you can answer the douches who ask you that with a simple “No.”
Introducing the hopsicle, also known as a beer popsicle. Let me repeat that, the beer popsicle. It’s a can of beer you can lick. If you have tried to freeze beer, you know it ends in an explosion. A saloon in New York has found the answer. Simple syrup, lime juice a stick and a can of Tecate is all you need.
Some how they get it to freeze successfully. When it’s ready to serve, they slice off the bottom, now the top, of the can and hand it over. It’s like the push pop of your dreams.
[via Consumerist]
Written by Bryan McBournieBiking under the influence
Posted on August 12, 2010
Filed Under Booze News | Leave a Comment |
What better way to celebrate your release from the tank, than by getting tanked, right? Or, at the very least, get hammered and smash your bike into a railroad sign.
Written by Bryan Schools keep looking »