Category: Booze News

| Posted in Booze News

Walmart: America’s Bar

No one that writes for this website would ever castigate someone for going on a bender. Leaving Las Vegas is a wonderful movie. Almost everything that the great Hunter S. Thompson wrote was done while he was on a bender of some sort. And to quote The Simpsons, “Boy, look, it’s Lee Marvin. He’s always drunk!”

That’s why we promise not to make fun of Elizabeth McGovern. According to New York state troopers, she was essentially on a 2 day bender in a Walmart … while using said Walmart to fuel said bender. We’re not bothered at all by it; in fact, we’re impressed.

Welcome to your new drunk royalty.

| Posted in Booze News, Zombies

The drinking dead

Are you bored with your Downton Abbey wine? Growing tired of the latest Game of Thrones beer? Perhaps it’s time you started drinking another TV-flavored booze.

In a tribute to AMC’s The Walking Dead, Dock Street Brewing in Philadelphia is releasing a special batch of beer, called Dock Street Walker. The brew does more than just tie its name to a show arbitrarily, it’s actually got ingredients inspired by the show. Namely, this American pale stout has goat brains in it.

Of course, true fans of the show will know that the zombies on The Walking Dead don’t care about brains, it’s the flesh and everything else, too. In fact, there are very few zombie universes out there where the undead even care about which part of the body they are chowing down on. So this really is just a salute to certain aspects of zombie culture, and — hey, where are you going?

| Posted in Booze News

Kegger at the governor’s mansion!

Not to be outdone by his counterpart in Virginia, Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper has had beer taps installed in his mansion.

It needs to be said, wearing a suit all day is stressful work, that’s why it’s perfectly acceptable for the C-suiters and government execs to keep booze in their offices. But Hickenlooper is now mainlining it. He’s got three taps, which will of course feature different Colorado beers.

Of course, the marijuana crowd chimed in to harsh Hickenlooper’s mellow, saying that the governor is eager to embrace craft brewing, but continues to keep marijuana at, like … dude, what were we talking about?

| Posted in Booze News, It Must Be Science!

‘I’m not puking. I’m driving all the snakes out of my stomach.’

"Erin go BRAAAAAAAAAGH!"
“Erin go BRAAAAAAAAAGH!”

It might be Monday, but it’s also St. Patrick’s Day. (And, if you’re on the mid-Atlantic seaboard, a snow day, so you’d better get some whiskey in you before you freeze to death.) So, let’s review some Booze News before you’re incoherent.

Sweetener derived from the agave plant, which also gives us tequila, may help you lose weight and stave off diabetes if you use it instead of sugar. But, it’s probably also expensive and only found at Whole Foods, so let’s cut to the chaser and just use tequila in our coffee. It goes great with lime and bad morning sex decisions.

Having solved all their many other problems, Tennessee finds itself in a pickle barrel over whether to let whiskey distilleries reuse barrels and still call it “Tennessee whiskey.” Jack Daniel’s insists on maintaining the current law, which requires distillers to use fresh barrels every time, while smaller micro-distilleries argue that Jack Daniel’s is trying to be the only official Tennessee whiskey in the world by keeping production costs up. And somewhere in Tennessee, there is a cooper dressed in all the finest suspenders and pocket watches.

And finally, if wish you could drink more but worry about what it might do to your liver, don’t worry. There’s a new liver disease drug that’s about to hit the market. A toast: to pharmaceuticals!

| Posted in Booze News, Facepalm

That [Irish] Pride Parade

With Sam Adams no longer participating in Monday's St. Patrick's Day Parade, the people of South Boston will likely phone in their obnoxious, destructive behavior.
With Sam Adams no longer participating in Monday’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade, the people of South Boston will likely phone in their obnoxious, destructive behavior.

As Boston gears up for Monday’s St. Patrick’s Day parade, there will be a few notable absences this year. Boston Mayor Martin J. Walsh will not attend unless the South Boston Allied War Veterans Council, which sponsors the parade, allows gay veterans to openly march in the parade.

Good for Mayor Walsh, but a parade can live without a mayor. Attending a parade sober, however? Now that’s unthinkable, but likely the reality because Sam Adams has also pulled out of the parade.

Look, Boston. It’s one thing to keep the gay people in your city under wraps for St. Paddy’s. But have you seen a pride parade? How the hell are you gonna compete with that without beer?

| Posted in Booze News

Come and get your beer, Canada

President Barack Obama and Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper placed a friendly wager on the outcome of the U.S.-Canada men’s and women’s ice hockey outcomes when the teams faced each other in Sochi last month. The winner would get a case of beer from the loser’s home country. The five of you out there who care about hockey may also recall that the U.S. teams of both genders both lost. That means Obama owes Harper two cases of beer

But he hasn’t paid up yet.

Finally, Obama’s doing something truly American: not admitting that we lost. We did that in the War of 1812 (we got our asses handed to us, but got a sweet treaty), the Korean War (draw), and Vietnam (Rambo doesn’t count), and we’re doing it again! Mr. Harper, if you want some of America’s finest beer, why don’t you come down here and take it from us.

| Posted in Booze News, It Must Be Science!

Never give up, never end your bender

A hangover is only beer leaving the body.
A hangover is only beer leaving the body.

You may drink a lot — and often — but you will never be a true lover of the sauce if you let a hangover slow you down.

Researchers from the University of Missouri and Brown University (that’s Ivy League!) found that, when alcoholics logged their drinking over 21 days, they found no difference in drinking patterns between days with and without hangovers. So, while this doesn’t definitively prove the use of “hair of the dog” treatments, it definitely proves that proves boozers don’t let a little discomfort, nausea, diarrhea or being cut off from the bar deter them from their sport.

Therefore: if you want to soar with the barflies, then you don’t have time to be sick.

| Posted in Booze News

Surprisingly, fists won’t get you drunker faster

Obviously, we at SG enjoy the drink. Whether it’s mineral spirits, liquor, moonshine, beer or pure gasoline, we’ll drink it. BUT! We have our limits. We’re orderly boozers and have never been untoward a bartender or waitstaff member. Negativity won’t get you your alcohol.

Neither will punching a flight attendant.

Whether you’re in a bar, on a boat or in the air, don’t be that guy.

| Posted in Booze News

Ireland: Land of low beer prices

The Irish may not drink as much per capita as Americans, but they certainly have a reason to. We’re not talking about emotional reasons, we’re talking about economic reasons.

As it turns out, beer costs less than water in some Irish supermarkets, way less. In some locations, a bottle of beer costs only 50 Euro cents, while a bottle of water costs 1.50. Let’s keep in mind that beer is made from water, and has other fun stuff, like alcohol added into it.

We can only assume that water costs so much because whiskey comes out of the faucets at home.