Category: Booze News

| Filed under Booze News

Police: Batman steals beer

Superhero movies this summer, while mostly disappointing, all dealt with whether vigilantes with superpowers should be held accountable and controlled by society. So it’s fitting that this is now a real-world issue.

In upstate New York, a man in a Batman costume and a Captain America mask stole a couple cases of Budweiser (“America”) from a convenience store. Because when you have a superhero thirst, one case just isn’t going to do it. Was this Batman? Was this Captain America? Or was this a clever commentary on how superhero movies have devolved into two-hour-long beer commercials? Who can save us from this menace?

One thing we do know: the runs won’t just be in the tights.

| Filed under Booze News, Drunk of the Day

Beer the secret to longevity, 103-year-old says

If you want to live forever, drink beer — at least that’s what a 103-year-old woman says.

Mildred Bowers, 103, of South Carolina, has seen a lot in her day. (Some of those things are everyone she’s loved dying before her, but you know, there’s a trade-off to immortality.) And in her wizened state, she said having a beer every day has been a major reason why she has lived so long. It’s not scientific, but it’s good enough.

She also never had kids, so keep that one in mind, too.

| Filed under Booze News, It Must Be Science!

Your single friends are all drunks, science says

It’s a well-worn comedic trope that your significant other drives you to drink. But what that may not actually be the reality.

According to a new study, your single friends drink way more than you and your partner. A study of same-sex twins found that those who are in a relationship kind of cut back on the hootch, compared to their single doppelgangers. That means that you’re ruining the fun for your significant other, which might be OK, because that means you can go full steam ahead and know that you’ve got a designated driver.

So if you’re in a relationship and you’re miserable, it’s probably because you’re spending way too much time sober.

| Filed under Booze News

Now you can drink beer made from Roald Dahl’s farts

You no doubt read some of famous British children’s author Roald Dahl’s books when you were growing up. But now that you’re older, is there something missing? You wish you could sit down and share a pint with the man. Here’s the next best thing.

40FT Brewery and food company Bompas & Parr, both British, of course, are bringing you a beer made from yeast samples taken from Dahl’s writing chair, as well as some of his other belongings. It’s called Mr. Twit’s Odious Ale, and we don’t know much about it other than it sounds gross.

It’s only a matter of time before we see James and the Giant Peach Wheat.

| Filed under Booze News

Bad news: Booze ingredients running low

It’s August, which means winter seasonal beers are just a few weeks away. But it also means pumpkin beers will be hitting shelves any day now. But it’s not good news for pumpkin beer lovers, they’re running low on pumpkins.

For the second year in a row, American brewers report that they are having trouble finding enough orange gourds to make the beer that people either love or compare to Hitler. It seems pumpkin demand is so high that farmers aren’t able to keep up with demand, plus, some farmers, such as those in the Richmond, Virginia area, suffered a bad pumpkin crop this year.

And in Europe, things aren’t looking so good for fans of bubbly. The Champagne region of France, which is coincidentally where champagne is made, has had a rough grape-growing year. Vineyards have suffered from rot, mildew and frost. That means it’s going to be a bad year for your favorite New Year’s beverage.

We don’t mean to be alarmist, but now might be the time to stock up on alcohol, you know, before everyone else cleans out the stores.

| Filed under Booze News

France on high alert after ‘wine terrorists’ attack

Hold your wine glasses a little tighter tonight. The streets of one French town ran red with wine, and residents are left asking why.

In the South of France, the town of Sete found one of its streets awash in wine for hours, and authorities are baffled. The flood of wine, several inches deep, came from the spilled barrels at a local wine merchant’s house. While officials have yet to name a cause of the incident, many suspect it is the work of a group of “wine terrorists,” a “Malbec Qaeda” if you will, who are against the import of goods to the area. Until this group claims responsibility, the French are forced to shake their heads and exclaim, “Sacre bleu!”

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with wine is a good guy with wine.

| Filed under Booze News, It Must Be Science!

Coming to a pint glass near you: Beer made from urine

Finally, the only flaw in "Waterworld" has been fixed.
Finally, the only flaw in “Waterworld” has been fixed.

Move over, cockroach milk. There’s a new trendy beverage in town.

A lot of mass-produced beer is compared to carbonated piss. The very literal scientists at the University of Ghent in Belgium have done just that. They have brewed a beer made from urine, in a process they call, and this is true, “sewer to brewer.”

A solar-powered machine is able to extract drinkable water from urine, which they hope to use as a water conservation method in rural and drought-stricken areas. To show off their invention, the Belgian scientists brewed a beer with the water they recovered.

This means that breaking the seal may be a good thing.

| Filed under Booze News, War on Animals

Share a drink with tiny primates

Ever get drunk and climb up somewhere high? Turns out we’re not the only primates that do that.

You can add slow lorises and aye-ayes to the list of animals you can drink under the table. Researchers  found the small primates have a penchant for booze. The animals they studied showed a clear preference for nectar that had been fermented, over the lower-grade or non-alcoholic stuff.

Scientists say this shows that the ability to process alcohol played a part in primate evolution. That means drinking is in your blood.

| Filed under Booze News, It Must Be Science!

Science: Drink your way to a happy marriage

If you’re like The Guys, you’ve got two loves in your life: your significant other and your drink — and usually not in that order. Science now has an indicator of whether you two can go the distance. What is it? You both need to drink as you get older.

According to an analysis of American couples over 50, dissatisfaction with spouses was more common if both parties didn’t drink the same amount. It appears to be especially true in women. Researchers found that couples that drink together (or don’t drink at all, but that’s not a real choice) were more likely to express satisfaction with their spouse. It backs up the findings of an earlier study. Scientists don’t know why, but it seems obvious that you care less about your significant other’s annoying traits when you’re getting crocked.

So, drink together for the kids.

| Filed under Booze News, War on Robots

Dumb beer trend: Artificial intelligence

We can’t get robots to pour a decent drink, but pretty soon they could be brewing our beer for us. The first step down this dark road begins with listening to the masses.

IntelligentX, which is somehow not a nu metal band name, is a brewing company, and it has produced four different beers with the help of artificial intelligence. An AI bot measured the feedback from people on the taste of the various beers, and gave the brewers tips how they could tweak their recipes to appeal to more people. The American Idol approach to brewing is going to ruin beer for everyone, and it’s only a matter of time before they put this AI into machines.

First the robots will kill our golden age of craft beer, and then they come for us.