A hundred-year-old English woman has some good news for you: keep drinking your beer.
Eileen Maher just turned 100, and she celebrated by downing a Stella Artois and some cookies — for good reason — she credits them for her longevity. That science seems good enough for us.
There are a couple bonus facts that we found in this article: if you live in the U.K., you get a telegram from Queen Elizabeth on your 100th birthday. Also, apparently telegrams are still a thing over there.
There was a time when the alcohol industry wanted nothing to do with marijuana. It didn’t want to be associated with illegal drug use. Apparently times have changed. Pass me a cabernet sauvignon, dude.
Last week, the Wine and Spirits Wholesalers of America, put out a statement supporting states’ efforts to decriminalize and legalize the recreational use of pot. This is not a small thing, because the group represents 80% of all wine and liquor wholesale distributors. If you drank something other than beer over the weekend, it probably came from these guys.
All this is great news for those stoner girls you knew in college who wanted a marriage of weed and wine in a single glass.
The U.S. craft beer market is pretty well saturated, and it’s no secret that this is forcing breweries to do some stunts to get attention from the public. But this (and sparkle beer) is where we draw the line.
A brewery in Los Angeles will soon introduce a beer whose ingredients were picked out by a bear. We’ve gotten to the point that we need animals to select what kind of beer we’re going to drink.
Earlier this month, Simmzy’s brewery placed several different ingredients near a bear at the L.A. Zoo. The bear chose hibiscus flower and honey. And so the bear’s honey-hibiscus beer will be available next month as part of a beer fundraiser.
Maybe Japanese brewers can have their psychic octopus pick beer ingredients. Oh wait.
Despite all the songs, shows and movies promoting it, living in California sounds pretty awful. You’ve got droughts, wildfires, earthquakes and Sacramento. And now you have bears stealing your booze.
A Southern California couple was relaxing with some margaritas in the pair’s backyard hot tub, when there was a bustling in the hedges. They were able to retreat into the house before a large bear came out and took over their party. The bear hopped into the hot tub, then knocked over the margaritas and licked them up. Not cool, bear. Not cool.
Of course, Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department claims to have searched for the bear but was unable to find it. Bet they would have searched harder if it was a black bear.
Another summer, another assault on Britons by aggressive and unruly seagulls. This year, they’re getting drunk and rowdy.
In South West England, seagulls are getting drunk off of half-full (or half-empty) alcoholic drinks that people abandon on the beach. Which is concerning first, because if you can’t finish a drink, you shouldn’t order it in the first place, Nigel.
These drunken seagulls caw loudly, and probably say some crude stuff to women on the boardwalk. Firefighters were called when one seagull fell off of a roof and was too drunk to fly. The bird then threw up on a firefighter.
The seagull and two of his friends were taken in to the drunk tank.
The World Cup has begun — at least that’s what we’ve been told. And host nation Russia is under an invasion from drunken Australians. After watching just one match for their home country, the Aussies drank the bars dry.
A large number of Australians traveled to Kazan, Russia, where the Australians played their first match. The relatively small town was swamped with Aussie soccer fans, who drank well into the morning, despite their team losing. In fact, they drank at least two bars completely out of beer.
Whether Australia makes it to the finals, the nation is already one of heroes.
Speaking of Fireball, who’s ready for a good truck spill story? We know Mr. Worldwide is.
In Arkansas, Interstate 40 was backed up because two trucks collided. One caught on fire, the other spilled a whole bunch of Fireball “whiskey” on the road. The westbound lanes of the highway were covered in miniature bottles of Fireball, which probably made the scene of the accident smell like a 13-year-old boy who just discovered Axe.
The drivers were not seriously injured, although many onlookers complained of a burning mouth.
We go pretty hard on beer for being made with weird stuff these days, but generally, new ingredients make beer good. The same cannot be said for liquor. Anyone who isn’t in college and takes a sip of one of those sugary flavored liquors can tell you that.
So how about a nice bourbon made with the secretions from a beaver’s anus? Tamworth Distilling is releasing Eau De Musc, a bourbon with castoreum, which is a natural flavoring. It also comes from grands located on a beaver’s butt.
Well, it’s still better than Fireball.
When a storm hits, it’s time to crack one open, but that won’t be the case any longer for one Florida city.
Cape Coral, Florida has passed an ordinance banning the sale of beer during a state of emergency. The iron hand of the city wants to keep people off the roads during a hurricane, especially when it comes to making a beer run. The city has already had the ability to ban the sales of other kinds of booze, but beer was still allowed — until now that is.
So start making your hurricane preparedness kit now. You don’t want to be caught sober when the storm moves in.
Last week, there was a police involved shooting at a distillery/nightclub in Denver last weekend. That’s generally not fodder for a humor blog, is it? Well, the shooting was accidental, and it has a happy ending. We promise.
Last Saturday, an off-duty FBI agent was getting down on the dance floor, finishing off his moves with a backflip. The only problem is that during the backflip, the pistol in his waistband flew out. The agent immediately grabbed the gun, but pulled the trigger in the process, shooting someone probably in the foot.
Now, accidentally being shot by an off-duty FBI agent who shouldn’t have had his gun on him in the first place is kind of like winning the lottery on its own, because you know the feds are going to pay. But it gets even better, because the distillery has promised the victim free drinks for life.
See? Happy ending.