Category: Booze News

| Filed under Booze News, War on Animals

Share a drink with tiny primates

Ever get drunk and climb up somewhere high? Turns out we’re not the only primates that do that.

You can add slow lorises and aye-ayes to the list of animals you can drink under the table. Researchers  found the small primates have a penchant for booze. The animals they studied showed a clear preference for nectar that had been fermented, over the lower-grade or non-alcoholic stuff.

Scientists say this shows that the ability to process alcohol played a part in primate evolution. That means drinking is in your blood.

| Filed under Booze News, It Must Be Science!

Science: Drink your way to a happy marriage

If you’re like The Guys, you’ve got two loves in your life: your significant other and your drink — and usually not in that order. Science now has an indicator of whether you two can go the distance. What is it? You both need to drink as you get older.

According to an analysis of American couples over 50, dissatisfaction with spouses was more common if both parties didn’t drink the same amount. It appears to be especially true in women. Researchers found that couples that drink together (or don’t drink at all, but that’s not a real choice) were more likely to express satisfaction with their spouse. It backs up the findings of an earlier study. Scientists don’t know why, but it seems obvious that you care less about your significant other’s annoying traits when you’re getting crocked.

So, drink together for the kids.

| Filed under Booze News, War on Robots

Dumb beer trend: Artificial intelligence

We can’t get robots to pour a decent drink, but pretty soon they could be brewing our beer for us. The first step down this dark road begins with listening to the masses.

IntelligentX, which is somehow not a nu metal band name, is a brewing company, and it has produced four different beers with the help of artificial intelligence. An AI bot measured the feedback from people on the taste of the various beers, and gave the brewers tips how they could tweak their recipes to appeal to more people. The American Idol approach to brewing is going to ruin beer for everyone, and it’s only a matter of time before they put this AI into machines.

First the robots will kill our golden age of craft beer, and then they come for us.

| Filed under Booze News

Booze ice cream is finally a reality

We’ve all added vodka to a Slurpee or made ourselves a Jack and Coke float. (No? Just us?) But what if you could enjoy a cool treat this summer that also give you a buzz. The future is here.

Booze is making its way into ice cream. Real booze, not just booze flavoring. The latest trend in frozen foods is alcoholic ice cream. You can now even find popsicles and sorbet with significant amounts of alcohol. The downside, of course, is the government. Because the feds are pretty strict on keeping booze and food sold separately, there are a lot of hurdles boozy ice cream producers have to overcome. That makes it hard to find, and possibly illegal in some states.

So, if you find any of these delicious treats, please send some to The Guys. We’re famished.

| Filed under Booze News

Weekend advisory: Free beer in Atlanta

Earlier this month, an entire shipment of beer was stolen. We didn’t cover it, for fear of making our beloved readers depressed. Now we have an update, and a call to action.

All 40 pallets of Sweetwater Brewing’s summer variety pack have been recovered by the authorities, which means there is justice in the world. But now the beer, estimated to be worth $90,000, must be destroyed¬†because there’s no way to guarantee the beer wasn’t messed with in any way.

So cancel your holiday weekend plans and head on down to Sweetwater and go dumpster diving. You can score enough beer to make your memory skip July.

| Filed under Booze News

Booze bans kill people, study says

It’s 2016, and yet for some reason there are parts of the country that don’t serve alcohol, and many of them aren’t even in Utah. And now we know that local bans on booze have a real cost of human lives.

Researchers at the University of California, San Francisco examined hospital admission data across the U.S., and found that dry counties counties have a much higher rate of heart attacks and congestive heart failure. That means that being sober is bad for your heart. Wet counties had liver problems and a heart problem called atrial fibrillation, but this is America, your risk of a heart attack is far worse than some lesser disease.

Once again, make sure you’re drinking your daily recommended dose of booze. It could save your life.

| Filed under Booze News, It Must Be Science!

Ancient Chinese frat party unearthed

China gets credit for doing a lot of important things first, such as noodles and gunpowder. Now it seems the Chinese can add beer to that list, too.

Researchers have uncovered what they believe are instruments used to brew beer some 5,000 years ago. They found pottery resembling stuff used to brew in ancient times, only this is older. Archaeologists also found a funnel, so it stands to reason that the Chinese invented the beer bong, too.

Residue of ancient beer was found on all of the equipment, which considering how old beer smells, must have been downright skunky.

| Filed under Booze News

U.S. shows the world how to drink

Captain America represents the best drinker in all of us.
Captain America represents the best drinker in all of us.

America prides itself on not being the rest of the world. Ask anyone who’s never traveled and they’ll tell you that the U.S. is the greatest country in the world. Raise a glass, fellow Americans, today we are truly special.

According to a new study, the world decided to cut back a bit on drinking, leaving the U.S. to keep the party going on its own as the only country to drink more. A worldwide decline in alcohol sales hasn’t been seen in recent memory, and the U.S. proudly kept such a tragedy from occurring in 2015, as booze sales rose by near 1 billion liters over the previous year.

If the rest of the world wants to cut back on the drinky-drinky, that’s just more beer for us.

| Filed under Booze News, War on Animals

A bald eagle can deliver you beer this summer

Companies like Amazon and Google are trying to make deliveries by drone a thing, a brewery wants to deliver you beer with a frigging eagle.

Provided all the permits come through, Phillips Brewing & Malting will have a bald eagle deliver a sixer of its new lager to a few lucky people in June. That if officially the most American thing ever. Which is why it’s nothing short of tragic that all of this is happening in Canada. It turns out that Phillips Brewing is located in Vancouver, and the contest is only for locals.

However, we’re pretty sure that Seattle is flyable for a bald eagle, so Americans might be able to make this work.

| Filed under Booze News, It Must Be Science!

Your spouse keeps you sober, science says

Do you drink a lot? Are you worried that your drinking habits are slowly turning into alcoholism? Get married — it will fix everything.

According to a new study, being married can significantly reduce your risk of becoming an alcoholic, like, 53% lower if you’re a dude, and 73% if you’re a woman. Despite what every hack comedian says, your spouse doesn’t drive you to drink, they actually make you want to drink less. But you should still enjoy World Whisky Day tomorrow.

Except if your spouse is cheating. The study found you’re really likely to turn to booze if that’s your situation.