You can’t consider yourself an experienced drinker unless you know someone who has gotten naked in public, according to a new survey.
Some 39% of Americans said they have disrobed in public while drunk. That’s a little over one in three people. If that sounds high to you, just know that it is completely accurate for The Guys. (We’ll let you fantasize about which one it is.) The survey asked if people had ever gotten publicly naked, not if they often do, so one time counts. And those who said they had stripped said they had been drinking beer when it happened, so your whitty T-shirt sayings about tequila are false.
Also, only 9% had been arrested while drunk (The Guys are higher), 6% had set fires (way higher) and 3% had gotten a tattoo (accurate).
Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day, ye swabs! By now ye should know about this high holiday, and if ye don’t, ye can figure out how to celebrate. Let us talk about a new way to make booze while cleanin’ up the air.
Scientists agree that climate change is real, and fer we pirates, that means fewer islands to pillage because of rising sea levels, and stronger hurricanes that could sink us. But now we might be able to take carbon emissions out o’ the air and put them to good use: getting us drunk. Ph.D student Ming Ma has devised a way to take carbon emissions captured from smokestacks and turn them into a variety of chemicals, especially ethanol. Ye may know ethanol as a fancy word fer grog.
We can make alcohol from the air. What a glorious time to be a pirate.
The Kiwis have come up with an ingenious idea, as long as you don’t mind a little hair in your drink. But it could be last call for a policy we need to adopt in the U.S.
Many New Zealand barbershops give complimentary glasses of beer or wine with a haircut. Yes, there is free beer served at barbershops. Customers can sip away while their barber does his or her thing. But now, the police are cracking down on this amazing policy, because someone out there isn’t happy with people boozing it up in that sort of setting.
The Guys have been around a while. We’ve never traveled to New Zealand, but it seems like news of such an awesome and apparently nationwide tradition would have reached us several times over by now. With Movember around the corner, perhaps we should plan a trip.
In New Zealand, a family was enjoying an annual trip to a mountain lodge, when an avalanche ruined things. The lodge wasn’t hit, and the family was safe, but the only road to and from the lodge was buried under a whole lot of snow. The family was cut off from civilization, and were told that crews would take a few days to clear the road for them again.
They didn’t panic, and told the media that things were going well because they still had plenty of wine. Always pack accordingly for your vacation.
Ahead of Hurricane Irma, most Floridians got out of Dodge, while some fools decided to hang around and party their way through it. But no matter how awesome the party, no one did Hurricane Irma better than the people on a cruise ship.
Folks, we want our readers to be safe. Also, we don’t want to get sued for anything. That’s why if you’re one of our coastal Texas readers, RUN, BITCH! Hurricane Harvey is coming!
But if you’re dumb (and if you live in Texas, there’s a pretty good chance of that), and you decide to hang around for a Category 3 hurricane that’s supposed to just sit over your head for a week, grab some booze. That’s the advice Houston-area bars and liquor stores are giving, and the citizenry is listening. Beer, wine and liquor sales are way up ahead of the potentially deadly storm people should probably be sober for.
Key quote from a Houston bartender:
Regardless, if you’re craving hard liquor this weekend, Hunt suggests making a Greyhound, which is vodka and grapefruit juice. “It’s light, refreshing and simple. There is a hurricane happening! Ain’t no one got time for a complicated, multi-step process.”
Hunt says she’ll be drinking wine during the storm “and lots of it,” and suggests 19 Crimes Cabernet.
A lot of Booze News stuff lately. It must be the winding down of summer and everyone thinking about relaxing with a nice drink. Today, science is here to validate whiskey drinkers.
According to a recent study, if you like a little water in your whiskey, you haven’t been imagining a difference. Scientists have found that the taste of the compound guaiacol can be increased when whiskey is diluted. This compound enhances the flavor and smell of the booze, and it rises to the surface of the glass when water is added, according to researchers. However, if you add too much water to your whiskey, the guaiacol falls away from the surface, meaning less flavor and smell.
So go ahead, add a little water to your brown water.
Don’t you hate it when you’ve had a few drinks, then you come up with a great idea but forget to write it down? From now on, you should have a paper and pencil with you, because drinking helps you brainstorm.
It may be summer right now, but when the cold winter nights come back, what’s better than a good drink to warm you up inside? Researchers say that goldfish do the same thing.
According to scientists, goldfish and their wild cousins the crucian carp, have the ability produce their own alcohol, which allows them to survive in winter conditions. The fish can’t get rid of lactic acid in oxygen-free water because they can’t breathe. Instead, they convert the lactic acid into ethanol, and they can go for months like this.
The researchers found that the fish have pretty high blood alcohol content levels–so much so that they wouldn’t be allowed to drive in most countries. So remember, do not let your goldfish drive, no matter how much it begs.