Wenches be freeballin’ with a highball
Posted on September 19, 2008
Filed Under Booze News, Pirates, Sex Sells, Stripper News, That Wacky Australia | Leave a Comment |
Yarr!
In what be yet more other possible health code violation news: a St. Kilda, Australia, pub be coming under (chain shot) fire fer its “No Undie Sundie” promotion. Apparently, encouragin’ lasses to take off their undergarments in exchange for a $50 drink card just wasn’t the smartest idea. Who would’ve guessed? Certainly not Joe Francis. Personally, the capitalist landlubber with book learnin’ in business thinks that it’s brilliant, of course, but hey, that just be me.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorBiggest party foul ever
Posted on September 17, 2008
Filed Under Booze News | 3 Comments |
Folks, drop down to your knees and thank your chosen deity that you live in these United States of America (at least we assume you do). You live in a country where freedom is more than just a battle cry, it’s a political jingoistic cliché. Here, we don’t have silly laws against filling up stadiums with beer.
That’s just not the case in Germany. There, a teen is on trial for causing €100,000 (roughly $8.5 billion) worth of damage to an area in Dusseldorf when he and his friend allegedly flooded the place with beer, which is a violation of the Oktoberfest Law.
Three taps were opened in the VIP area in 2006, causing a lot of German gold to spill out into the stadium and a conference room. The beer eventually found its way to the parking lot, where it sat in post-game traffic for over an hour.
(via Deadspin)
Written by Bryan McBournieUncle Sam wants you (to booze)
Posted on September 16, 2008
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Say what you will about Congress doing nothing but arguing over who gets to make the “microphone looks like a phallus” joke in the next session sitting around discussing laws all day, at least they’ve got some sense of proper celebration. That’s right folks, even Congress wants to celebrate the diamond anniversary of the re-legalization of alcohol. The best part of the story: knowingly or not, CBS gave SG a shout out in the headline!
Written by Bryan SchoolsLike a beer in headlights
Posted on September 10, 2008
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There is no use in crying over spilled beer. But apparently you can try and use that as your excuse for weaving in between lanes when you’ve been charged five previous times with drinking and driving. That’s exactly what a New Mexico man did when he was pulled over by police. He blamed his inability to drive on his friend spilling beer in the vehicle. Hey, can’t hurt to try, right?
Written by Bryan SchoolsAnswering the tough questions
Posted on September 4, 2008
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Side note: Will you people come back from Labor Day weekend and do insane stuff already? The news is slower than a three-legged mule.
We turn now to Paris, not because we want to, but because that is where the story comes from, of course. It has been announced that French scientists have discovered how to authenticate the vintage of wine.
Yes, the scientists have used a particle accelerator and X-ray analysis to figure out just how old that bottle of wine is. Because, you know, you can’t just look at the year on the label. The Guys are no conneisseurs of wine (we prefer grape flavored, if we must drink it), but does one really need to know exactly how old their wine is when it’s in a box?
Next up for the French scientists: how to be more pretentious.
Written by Bryan McBournieEconomy got you down? Drink up, Johnny
Posted on September 3, 2008
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With gas prices on the rise, and the economy on the way down, why not tip your glass up and drown the sorrows out? Everyone else is doing it, even people in the Financial District are choosing to fill up the local bar as opposed to putting in the extra hours.
Seems they’re taking some SeriousAdvice: can’t drink on the job? Book it to the nearest pub and make up for lost time. In completely unrelated news, American alcoholism is on the rise …
Written by Bryan SchoolsChicken of the beer community
Posted on August 25, 2008
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The lovely Jessica Simpson, unofficial spokeswoman for tuna everywhere, as well as the increasing divorce rate of our counrty, is now the official spokeswoman for Stampede Light Plus. Stampede, a Texas-based brewery is using Simpson’s celeberity to promote the fact that everyone has a beer, including celebrity girlfriends of Dallas Cowboy quarterbacks who choke every postseason.
Written by Bryan SchoolsRambooze
Posted on August 19, 2008
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Sure, some of us think as Sylvester Stallone as that beefy dude with the bandana that killed a lot of people, or as that over the hill boxer with the creepy trainer. Now Stallone is headed back to Russia … to advertise vodka!
In a deal worth $1 million, Stallone will be the spokesman for Russian Ice, which has the slogan “there is a bit of Russian in all of us.” Stallone, from Russian descent, showed us this slogan was nothing but true in his film debut The Party at Kitty and Stud’s, that’s right folks, The Italian Stallion is now the Russian Lush.
Written by Bryan SchoolsFeeling shot, shot, shot
Posted on August 18, 2008
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In a move that has The Guys wondering how the hell we never thought up this one, ShotPak has introduced it’s new line of booze … that comes in a shot-sized foil pouch. Basically, it’s taking all the best parts of say a bottle of Absolut, and Capri Sun, and just combining the two and eliminating the guess work.
The move has not come without stirring up a bit of controversy as to the accessibility of the seemingly candy-like booze and how easy it is to conceal. We however say that if you need to hide the fact that you are drinking an apple martini, then you probably shouldn’t be drinking one in the first place, Rick. So the next time you need that quick fix for a purple hooter, you know what, we’ll just leave it at that.
Written by Bryan SchoolsMay your liver live on
Posted on August 14, 2008
Filed Under Booze News, It Must Be Science! | Leave a Comment |
Imagine a world where you could drink all you want and do no harm to your body (better known as the dreamland of Sen. Edward Kennedy, D-Mass.). Hangovers may never be fully extinct, but distillers are making their products purer and purer all the time. Long term effects (liver damage, wet brain, red face, accidental marriage, whiskey-related impotence) are still a threat.
That is until now. Scientists have successfully stopped the aging process in a mouse’s liver (they know this by counting the rings). Do you know what this means? If we all get mouse liver transplants, we will never have to worry about sclerosis! Perhaps scientists can learn to stop the aging process in other organs, too. That way our hearts would not suffer from pumping so much alcohol through it and our lungs would not suffer from inhaling all that musting, smoky bar air.
We could drink on forever!
Written by Bryan McBournie « go back — keep looking »