Just in time for summer, it’s the greatest footwear-alcohol combination since the stomping of grapes with bare feet. Is it a beer made from some type of shoes? No, but that sounds like a good idea.
For those of you in New Jersey who love hockey, but love booze just a little bit more, the courts have decided in your favor: DUI is not possible when operating a Zamboni.
The case originated in 2005 when John Peragallo was arrested and charged with DUI at the Mennen Sports Arena in Morristown, NJ. The machine Peragallo was driving was speeding and nearly crashed into the boards, witnesses said. He blew a 0.12.
Key quote: “Peragallo, 64, testified at his trial that he did drink beer and vodka, but not until after he had groomed the ice. However, he told police he had a shot of Sambuca with his breakfast coffee and two Valium-pills before work.”
Ever had a night where you end up wearing your drinks? Take that concept and apply it to a whole new level. You’ve got Australia’s new dress made out of wine.
The dress is grown from bacteria from wine and must be kept wet at all times. (This blog will forgo any temptation to make a sexist remark like, “have at it, gentlemen,” because that would be inappropriate.)
Like beer but hate getting up from the couch for it? Let the beer come to you, fresh out of the fridge.
Cheap wine drinkers everywhere have another reason to pour a glass this morning. Wine magnate Ernest Gallo has died at the tender age of 97. Word on the street is he drank too much of his own stuff, passed out and choked on his vomit.
When will you kids learn?
The state is placing 500 urinal cakes in men’s restrooms around the state. But these are no ordinary urinal cakes. They can talk.
This blog takes a stand against talking urinal cakes. Sure, they only deliver anti-DUI messages now, but what happens when you go to pee and the urinal cake starts making comments about your unit? Be careful where you pee, men of New Mexico.
Looking to drink on the job but can’t find anything in the office you’re willing to risk your bowels on for a buzz? Thank one extremely
clever stupid inmate in a Maryland prison who got drunk off of hand sanitizer.
The gallon he was drinking from was 140 proof, stronger than most liquors available today.
Mommy, can I not go to school today? I have one vicious hangover. Apparently the words “after school special” mean something different to these kids.
Key Quote: “CHILDREN as young as eight are turning up at school with hangovers.”
(On phone) “Yeah, I’d like the special on Jack Daniel’s. Does that come with ice?”