The Philadelphia Phillies’ AAA affiliate, the Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs, are set to unveil the biggest splash in team history, a urinal gaming system. The system, which, go figure, was designed by the Brits, turns everyday fans’ pee into a game, it’s the ultimate race against time.
Essentially when Fan A decides to throw a few back because, you know, he’s at a AAA game for the Phillies, and our subject needs to let the excess run the base paths before the seventh inning stretch, he steps into the bathroom and at the urinal there is a TV monitor. Now apparent, this monitor knows you’re there, and activates the urinal gaming system that is designed to turn the direction and force of your urine into a game played on the monitor.
What we want to know is how is this even possible, and it took Philadelphia this long to adapt something like this? The Guys don’t know many things (that statement is false, we know a lot of things, and if we don’t, we’ll make up a believable sounding answer that, while incorrect, makes us look like geniuses) but we do know that we’ve been turning going to a men’s urinal a game far longer than this game has been out, and have not been getting paid for it.
But it does make you wonder, if someone is going to develop this, why stop there? Is there a model for the other toilets in a restroom? Why are they having a biased model that doesn’t lend itself to be used in both men’s and women’s restroom areas? Are they developing one for New York City subways since everyone just pees where they want to there anyways? Is there one behind the Green Monsterif Manny Ramirez ever comes back to Boston?
There have been more questions than answers posed, but all we really know for sure is, we want one.