Category: Eat My Sports

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Eat My Sports: Super Bowl overreaction!

Welcome, folks to the end of the 2015 NFL season and Super Bowl L 50. Right about now you are either hating on Cam Newton, praising Peyton Manning as the greatest quarterback of all-time or on your way to Red Lobster, any way you cut it, everybody is right and everybody is wrong.

So, in honor of overreaction week in the NFL where the Broncos are the greatest team ever, Newton is a cry baby and the combo of Coldplay/Bruno Mars/Beyoncé is the greatest musical combo since Aerosmith/Britney Spears/Nelly/N’Sync, here are some quick hits:

PEYTON MANNING IS THE GREATEST OF ALL-TIME, SERIOUSLY HE IS LIKE THE FREAKING BEATLES OF QUARTERBACKS!!!
Let me be the first to say that there is now enough on both sides of the argument to support Manning as the greatest QB who ever lived and to make cases for other people, and honestly it all depends on the prism in which you view his career through. If you want to make the case for him, he’s a two-time Super Bowl champion, third all-time in postseason wins, all-time leader in yards and touchdowns and holds the single-season records for yards and touchdowns (a record he’s claimed twice). If that’s not enough to make a claim, I don’t know what is. Continue reading

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Eat My Sports: Cardinals and Pats, Super Bowl Champs!

Not every football fan is a Neanderthal, meathead screaming at their television because they like seeing people get their brains bashed in. Unfortunately, sometimes, the average football gets lumped into a pool of people that is considered by and large, uneducated and spends way too much of their time, money and energy on a team or sport that really never gives anything back. This generalization is given to them by the few that make the rest of us who simply enjoy the sport look very, very bad.

Unless you live underneath a rock, you know by now that the Denver Broncos and Carolina Panthers are squaring off in Super Bowl 50. I repeat the DENVER BRONCOS and CAROLINA PANTHERS ARE PLAYING. Unfortunately, there are some recently tattooed Arizona Cardinal and New England Patriot fans that will have a lifetime reminder that their team did not, in fact, win the 50th Super Bowl. Continue reading

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Eat My Sports: What in God’s name just happened?

Like many of you, I watched the NFL Wild Card Playoffs this weekend. Also, like many of you, I am still trying to process what in the hell happened in the Pittsburgh/Cincinnati and Seattle/Minnesota matchups.

As a Steeler fan, after Landry Jones’ interception with under two minutes to go, I gave up. I generally know when the possibility of a miracle can happen, this was not one of those situations, until I heard “AND THE BENGALS HAVE FUMBLED THE BALL!” Ok, I had a glimmer of hope, but let’s face it, Jones or Ben Roethlisberger with a bum shoulder still had a longshot to win the game.

Then Vontaze Burfect and Adam “Make It Rain” Jones pulled two of the most Cincinnati moves you’ll ever see. Burfect targeting the head of Antonio Brown on a pass that put the Steelers in field goal range then the ensuing on field scuffle that had Jones shove a ref gave the Steelers a chip shot field goal to win the game after choking away a 15-0 fourth quarter lead. Continue reading

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Eat My Sports: No, I don’t like that

After a way too fast 2016 NFL season, we are on the edge of  Wild Card Weekend in the NFL. It’s a weekend for a wild stretch from 2006-2012 that generally produced a Super Bowl participant, if not champion. But this year, aside from being stoked about the Steelers being in, I, as a resident of Virginia, am ticked. Why, you ask? Because the Redskins are back in the playoffs.

Now, having grown up in The Commonwealth, I’ve known my fair share of Redskin fans throughout the course of my life. They range from bandwagon, to passionate, to disbanded and emotionally numb. Why this team being back, and their fan base rising from the ashes to suddenly support them, is exactly that, they only support the team (I’m saying majority of the fan base, Rick, you’re an exception, the emotionally numb one who still watches anyways) once every seven or so years when the team puts a mediocre run in and turns it into a playoff berth. Continue reading

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Eat My Sports: Lifetime achievement award

LeBron James was awarded a lifetime contract with Nike this week, worth somewhere in the vicinity of $60 million per year for as long as James has a breath in his body. To put that in perspective, that’s approximately a freak ton more than you will ever make in your lifetime. While it may be impossible to comprehend that, even I hate to admit that James’ ridiculous work ethic at making himself the most marketable athlete on the planet made him deserving of that type of reward from a sports giant.

James may never be as popular as Michael Jordan. Jordan sort of became more of a myth due to the generation he played in. There was no social media, if you didn’t see the game, or have the luxury of having cable, you only heard second hand about the greatest basketball player ever. While James has played in the social media explosion of our world where every single play and word has been dissected with intense scrutiny, basically since James was 16 years old. Continue reading

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Eat My Sports: Brock Lobster!

The Peyton Manning era in Denver appears to be approaching the, and the main culprit is not one Thomas Brady. Instead, Brock “Lobster” Osweiler achieved the one thing that has eluded Manning over his entire career, defeating Brady, late in the season, in terrible weather.

The bandwagon has begun to pile on Osweiler, and it’s hard to argue against it, as what he as demonstrated, albeit, in limited viewing, has been everything that Manning has not been when it has mattered most in Denver. Continue reading

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Eat My Sports: This Is The End

Since the beginning of the 2012 NFL season we’ve been witnessing something that should not be humanly possible: a man with multiple neck surgeries, who has no feeling in his fingertips, breaking every NFL passing record there is. It should be noted that if you had the same surgeries as one Peyton Manning, that you probably shouldn’t play rough with your kids, much less have your body take on the equivalent of a car wreck 17-19 Sundays out of the year.

Nonetheless, Manning came back after he should have retired because one more Super Bowl ring and how he is perceived historically, means more than how his body is breaking down currently. The Denver Broncos gambles on him having enough left in the tank to get them over the top at least once, and by all accounts they really should have won it all in 2012 and 2013. But because he kept coming up short, and because he kept losing in the same situations he had in the past, Manning had to keep coming back for one more round for the chance to win it all and ride off into the sunset.

Depending on your definition of the greatest of all-time, Manning is either at the top of your list because of the way he has outsmarted defenses and been the smartest person on the field for the past 17 years, or he’s outside your top five because of postseason failures and the fact that he has won only one Super Bowl. I think he lies somewhere in the middle, both cases are too hard to ignore. Continue reading

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Eat My Sports: Trollasaurus Rex

This coming Thursday night is the much antici.. the huge match…. the first game Buffalo Bills foot enthusiast Rex Ryan will coach against his old team, the New York Jets. Ryan, who has always given the media more than they need to work with for headlines and fluff for articles has been extra active this week.

First, he made IK Enemkpali captain for this week’s game. If that name sounds familiar, it’s because he’s the guy who clocked Geno Smith 10 weeks into an injury to start the season. Then today, he took shots through a journalist at Jets quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick (who supports no shave every month, not just November) attacking his attractiveness. Fitz has five kids, for the record.

Stunts like these really prove that while Ryan is a locker room favorite, his focus while appearing to be game oriented, are nothing more than just a game to keep his team in the headlines. And while winning occasionally, the focus of Ryan seems to be on attacking people off the field, and making honorary captains out of the people who do the same.

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Eat My Sports: The Playoff one

Well, Seriously Readers, if any of you have read my columns over the past eight (wait … what? This damn thing is eight years old already?) you know that I do not care one bit about college sports. However, I’ve found the past two years of college football interesting due to the college football playoff.

They start ranking the top four teams beginning the first week in November, then even if a team wins, they find ways to knock them out so they can get the most marketable teams in (see TCU and Baylor, 2014).

This year’s edition has a one loss Alabama team cracking the top four in the first rankings. Why? Well they are ranked above undefeated teams and have a head coach that makes Bill Belichick seem like he has the glowing personality of Ace Ventura and they are riding the coattails of fairweather fans that think this team is still as good as the ones that won three out of four national titles.

The point of all of this really is that we haven’t really evolved since the BCS system, its all still a ratings grab and now ESPN has found a way to capitalize on a multi-billion dollar sport again.

Roll Tide.

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Eat My Sports: Movember Rain

Yeah, I thought about doing a scary, sports themed column this week, but lets face it, if you’re watching the Mets and the Royals in the World Series this year, Fox has already scared you enough.

For those of you that know any of The Guys, you know we are fans of the ‘stache. Rick Snee was the first one to get on board with actually raising money for Movember, with Bryan McBournie being a multi-year donator and this being my second venture into growing a full blown mustache.

What does this have to do with sports? Growing a mustache has a lot of the same qualities it takes to be successful in sports: patience, asking your friends and family to be team players and the willingness to look like a complete jackass for an entire month. All in the name of cancer (take that, NFL!). Continue reading