Eat My Sports: The most underrated rivalry in sports
Posted on August 24, 2010
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Let me start this off by saying that it’s 9:30 at night, I just got home from work, and the only reason I’m writing about a rivalry is because I promised myself I would. I am not going to write about the Red Sox claiming Johnny Damon off of waivers from the Tigers, or how even in a lost season this is not the sort of move you make for a guy who stabbed your city in the back, MUCH LESS one who is a season removed from a World Series title with the Yankees. I won’t write about how Theo Epstein is making me question how much of a “genius” he is claimed to be, no, because quite frankly I don’t think we have the blog space to support all the four-letter words I could throw into one column.
Now, on with the show.
The term “rivalry” is thrown around a lot in sports. Mostly in situations where there isn’t even a hint of one in place. Most people mistake rivalry for repitition. Just because the Giants and Redskins play each other twice a year doesn’t make it a rivalry, it just means that you’re in the same division.
I tend to define a rivalry as a power struggle between two teams, with the pendulum swinging back and forth to each side equally, with both sides fighting to achieve the same highs, experiencing the same lows, and always coming down to a dividing point in the middle that is a struggle and hatred because the two teams are mirror images of each other.
Ladies and gentlemen: New England Patriots vs. Pittsburgh Steelers. Read more
Written by Bryan SchoolsOh my god, like, no way
Posted on August 18, 2010
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In news that will shock you, Brett Favre is back in Minnesota after babysitter Brad Childress had three Vikings sent down to Mississippi to essentially recruit Favre for one more season in the NFL. We know this comes as a surprise, but all signs point to the man who avoids drama coming back for a 20th NFL campaign.
Written by Bryan SchoolsEat My Sports: Football, it’s not just a fantasy
Posted on August 17, 2010
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It’s mid-August, and that for us here in America means a few things: we have a few weeks left of seeing our women scantily clad (unless they dance and work for cash), baseball’s pennant races are heating up, Sam Adam’s Octoberfest is finally being distributed, and, football is back.
Sure, it’s not mid-season Vikings-Packers grudge matches yet, but the fact that it’s here can bring some excitement to an otherwise boring summer of sports. Let’s face it, if your a football fan of any kind you’re starting to get excited. You’ve got your fantasy draft coming, you’re over-analyzing a Bengals-Broncos game, you’re delirious if you’re a Redskins fan because you have a decent quarterback and a backfield full of past their prime running backs. Read more
Written by Bryan SchoolsEat My Sports: The summer of sports that wasn’t
Posted on August 10, 2010
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When I was 21, I went on a date to go see M Night Shymalan’s “The Village.” I had low expectations after “Unbreakable” and Mel Gibson’s performance in “To Hell With My Daughter and the Jews Signs.” Still, I came in with hope, that maybe, just maybe, one of the biggest releases of the summer would actually live up to the hype. Five minutes into the movie I told the girl I was with that not only were they in a secluded village from the modern world, but they would need to contact the modern world for help to save them. Not only was I right, but the ride to the end was boring, I wanted my money back for being able to know what was going to happen, and I had to deal with crappy acting along the way. Welcome to sports in the summer of 2010.
Coming into this summer I expected a few things: Tiger Woods to fail on an epic level that even a year ago never seemed possible, the NBA landscape to face a massive power shift, and the Yankees to pay their way to another boring first place finish. (Side note: don’t even say that you didn’t see that prostitution case with Lawrence Taylor coming, the man’s got more powder on his face than the Pillsbury Doughboy.) Well and basically, I called it, and it was a boring ride to the finish. Read more
Written by Bryan SchoolsEat My Sports: The no T.O. show
Posted on July 27, 2010
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If you are one of the fortunate people to never have seen Terrell Owens on your favorite team’s NFL roster, you are of a lucky breed. Owens’ career path has taken him from San Francisco, Philadelphia, Dallas, Buffalo and VH1, but never to a Super Bowl title or any amount of respectability. In short, Owens’ diva act has led almost all NFL teams to not even consider taking on him and his baggage at this point. Read more
Written by Bryan SchoolsEat My Sports: End of an error
Posted on July 20, 2010
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Please forgive me for making all of my golf articles about Tiger Woods, but let’s face it, a talent like that with a hunger for porn stars, crashed vehicles and poorly executed Nike marketing campaigns, let’s just say he’s a lightning rod for attention.
Two years ago we were 12 years into the Woods love affair bonanza. His miracle comeback with a torn ACL epitomized everything we loved about sports, and truly our most unblemished athlete. Since then, Woods has hit a path that I don’t think anyone believes he can come back from.
Whatever Tiger had up until the summer of 2008, that edge is gone. Whether it was the thrill of hitting the fairway with a NYC hostess, or his unconventional golf course demeanor that had him cursing at blades of grass, Woods had something that separated himself. Read more
Written by Bryan SchoolsEat My Sports: The Column
Posted on July 13, 2010
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“This Fall, I will be taking my talents to …”
And that is where LeBron “King” James said his last words. We are witnesses to nothing more than someone who couldn’t handle the pressure of crunch time, could not lead, could put up amazing numbers but never come through when it counts, nothing more than a NBA version of Alex Rodriguez. When James uttered the words “South Beach” on Thursday night, the air was sucked out of the room $140 plus million was taken away from Cleveland area businesses, Kobe Bryant became the best basketball player of our generation and we as a sports fanbase watched a once in a lifetime athlete decide to put on the red and yellow of Robin as opposed to the Batsuit. Read more
Written by Bryan SchoolsEat My Sports: Upon further review
Posted on June 29, 2010
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If any of you have been paying attention to trends in sports this summer, you’d notice a) a bunch of fair weather soccer fans, and b) there is a dire need for instant replay in every sport.
But Bryan, what about the human element? Look, if you want that mamby-pamby human element side of things, get a shrink. As for me, I want my calls right, and if these idiot officials can’t get a call right, with our technology, we owe it to everyone to make sure these calls are right. Read more
Written by Bryan SchoolsEat My Sports: Queensbridge!
Posted on June 22, 2010
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I hated Ron Artest.
Plain and simple, five and a half years ago after what happened in Detroit, there was not a single athlete outside of anyone in a Yankees uniform that I could loathe more. He was a selfish, waste of talent headcase that deserved nothing more than to be stripped of all the money he had been given and allocated to a cardboard box.
Five years ago I felt that way, four years ago I felt that way, hell, even two weeks ago I felt that way. Then, in the mother of all abominations, the Celtics blew a game they controlled and let the Los Angeles Lakers claim the 2010 NBA title. I hate him during the fourth quarter, I hated him when the buzzer sounded. Then, redemption. Read more
Written by Bryan SchoolsEat My Sports: The running diary that should never have been
Posted on June 15, 2010
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Welcome to my latest attempt to hack Bill Simmons’ career.
We’re coming to you live from the Eat My Mansion for the second half of tonight’s Game 6 of the NBA Finals, we would’ve included the first half had government officials not limited us due to costs incurred to clean up after BP.
Tonight we are joined by McBournie (via text), my two cats Despereaux and Bella, and a beverage that I have not yet named involving equal parts of tequila, orange juice and Sprite. Magic Johnson’s halftime gloat fest is over, we now re-join the game.
10:31 pm
As we get ready for the second half, Mark Jackson and Jeff Van Gundy go toe for toe with useless knowledge and jargon with hopes of campaigning for some NBA GM to give them a head coaching position. In total douche factor, I give Jackson the edge.
10:33 pm
McBournie: Anthony Kiedis looks like he’d be more comfortable at a pig roast.
Me: I think Doc Rivers could score the lead in a Ninja Turtles live-action movie.
Honestly, think about it. If you had to cast that movie perfectly, here are your leads:
Leonardo: Doc Rivers
Donatello: Turtle
Raphael: Kobe Bryant
Michaelangelo: Mr. Magoo
Splinter- Susan Sarandon Read more