Category: Eat My Sports

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Eat My Sports: This Is The End

Since the beginning of the 2012 NFL season we’ve been witnessing something that should not be humanly possible: a man with multiple neck surgeries, who has no feeling in his fingertips, breaking every NFL passing record there is. It should be noted that if you had the same surgeries as one Peyton Manning, that you probably shouldn’t play rough with your kids, much less have your body take on the equivalent of a car wreck 17-19 Sundays out of the year.

Nonetheless, Manning came back after he should have retired because one more Super Bowl ring and how he is perceived historically, means more than how his body is breaking down currently. The Denver Broncos gambles on him having enough left in the tank to get them over the top at least once, and by all accounts they really should have won it all in 2012 and 2013. But because he kept coming up short, and because he kept losing in the same situations he had in the past, Manning had to keep coming back for one more round for the chance to win it all and ride off into the sunset.

Depending on your definition of the greatest of all-time, Manning is either at the top of your list because of the way he has outsmarted defenses and been the smartest person on the field for the past 17 years, or he’s outside your top five because of postseason failures and the fact that he has won only one Super Bowl. I think he lies somewhere in the middle, both cases are too hard to ignore. Continue reading

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Eat My Sports: Trollasaurus Rex

This coming Thursday night is the much antici.. the huge match…. the first game Buffalo Bills foot enthusiast Rex Ryan will coach against his old team, the New York Jets. Ryan, who has always given the media more than they need to work with for headlines and fluff for articles has been extra active this week.

First, he made IK Enemkpali captain for this week’s game. If that name sounds familiar, it’s because he’s the guy who clocked Geno Smith 10 weeks into an injury to start the season. Then today, he took shots through a journalist at Jets quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick (who supports no shave every month, not just November) attacking his attractiveness. Fitz has five kids, for the record.

Stunts like these really prove that while Ryan is a locker room favorite, his focus while appearing to be game oriented, are nothing more than just a game to keep his team in the headlines. And while winning occasionally, the focus of Ryan seems to be on attacking people off the field, and making honorary captains out of the people who do the same.

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Eat My Sports: The Playoff one

Well, Seriously Readers, if any of you have read my columns over the past eight (wait … what? This damn thing is eight years old already?) you know that I do not care one bit about college sports. However, I’ve found the past two years of college football interesting due to the college football playoff.

They start ranking the top four teams beginning the first week in November, then even if a team wins, they find ways to knock them out so they can get the most marketable teams in (see TCU and Baylor, 2014).

This year’s edition has a one loss Alabama team cracking the top four in the first rankings. Why? Well they are ranked above undefeated teams and have a head coach that makes Bill Belichick seem like he has the glowing personality of Ace Ventura and they are riding the coattails of fairweather fans that think this team is still as good as the ones that won three out of four national titles.

The point of all of this really is that we haven’t really evolved since the BCS system, its all still a ratings grab and now ESPN has found a way to capitalize on a multi-billion dollar sport again.

Roll Tide.

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Eat My Sports: Movember Rain

Yeah, I thought about doing a scary, sports themed column this week, but lets face it, if you’re watching the Mets and the Royals in the World Series this year, Fox has already scared you enough.

For those of you that know any of The Guys, you know we are fans of the ‘stache. Rick Snee was the first one to get on board with actually raising money for Movember, with Bryan McBournie being a multi-year donator and this being my second venture into growing a full blown mustache.

What does this have to do with sports? Growing a mustache has a lot of the same qualities it takes to be successful in sports: patience, asking your friends and family to be team players and the willingness to look like a complete jackass for an entire month. All in the name of cancer (take that, NFL!). Continue reading

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Eat My Sports: Louisville Sluggers

Sure, you’ve all heard the story at this point. A graduate assistant coach on Rick Pitino’s Louisville Cardinals’ staff paid for strippers, prostitutes and “parties” for recruits and their fathers from 2010-2014.

Why is anyone shocked?

I’m not privy to what goes on officially in college recruiting, but I got a pretty good idea of what the game was from Nick Nolte, Shaq and Anfernee Hardaway in “Blue Chips” and from Jesus Shuttlesworth in “He Got Game.” To think that any of this has changed since the early 90s is absurd, it hasn’t changed, it’s evolved.

What 18-year-old, testosterone-driven male athlete wouldn’t be tempted by what Louisville was allegedly offering? If anything, it was a clever (albeit, very misdirected) marketing program from the coaching staff, if that in fact is what happened. But the ridiculous part is to think that Louisville is the only program doing this. Continue reading

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Eat My Sports: Party Like It’s 2004

I want you to imagine that there is a destitute baseball franchise. This franchise has gone through generations of futility with their inability to win the World Series. Not only can they not win, but they lose in heartbreaking fashion in the playoffs, literally in the most excruciating ways. Now, this franchise reverses course and hires a man-child, baseball metrics genius to break a supposed curse, and the team does so by mowing through the playoffs against their decades-long archrival.

Sound familiar? Yeah, Cubs fans, we’re looking at you. Your 2015 playoff run is a rip off 11 years too late after Theo Epstein got America to buy into this story the first go round. But let me warn you, nation-wide overexposure comes with a price if you win the World Series.

I know, I’m a Red Sox fan.

After the 2004 Sox reversed the curse and became national darlings, they treated 2005 like a year-long victory lap, and the overexposure turned them from loveable idiots to being hated just as much as the Yankees. Continue reading

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Eat My Sports: The incredible, shrinking RB

We heard a lot this past year about the resurgence of the NFL running back. A once vital part to any offense had become as replaceable as spare engine parts. Their were a few survivors that seemed to be bucking the trend of having a RB not being a necessity. LeSean McCoy, Marshawn Lynch, DeMarco Murray had all seemingly made themselves indispensable to their offense and teams. Now, a quarter of the way into the season, fantasy owners and actual NFL owners are wondering what in the world has happened to the resurgence of the vital back.

Lynch and McCoy can’t stay healthy and Murray can’t get going in what was supposed to be one of, if not the most potent offenses in the league.

So where does this leave us as fantasy owners trying to believe in this comeback? Run like the wind.

WR has been and will continue to be the most viable option and you can forget all about the days of having a two RB set carry you. It’s over and done.

Fading into the background as quickly as Murray’s yards per carry shrink.

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Eat My Sports: It’s not even the start of the season and Derrick Rose is …

Amidst all of everything that is going wrong with the NFL this season (Tom Brady didn’t serve any of his suspension, Roger Goodell is still commissioner, Andy Dalton is on fire and Michael Vick is somehow still a starting quarterback, one thing you may not have noticed is that NBA training camps opened today! That’s right, everyone’s favorite sport that lasts from October to June started. Now, there have been lots of changes across the NBA landscape the past few years. Continue reading

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Eat My Sports: 0 $#@! and 2

There’s a little game here in the U.S called foosball. Discovered by Bobby Boucher in the great state of Louisiana in 1998, we create this cult where a business owns a day of the week, and we buy in.

I’m a consumer and I love it. I own multiple jerseys, play fantasy football and alter my weekends plans to watch the games I want. And I think about 65% of males fit this demographic. I have no statistical data to back this up, but hey, let’s call it a hunch.

My point, my amigos is that if over 50% of the American males are this dedicated, imagine our surprise when the teams we thought would be obliterating people have fallen back to the pack in a embarrassing fashion.

Seattle Seahawks: 0-2
Indianapolis Colts: 0-2
Philadelphia Eagles : 0-2
New York Giants : 0-2

Many were making arguments that some of those would be hoisting the Lombardi by the end of the year. My advice is to leave it alone and let Oakland duke it out and Jacksonville try and fight for a title.

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Eat My Sports: Your fantasy, ruined

Hello, fellow NFL fans,  and welcome to the aftermath of Week 1 of the NFL season! If you’re a Redskins fan, hey, there’s always 2016. If you’re a Patriots fan, we get it, you won the Super Bowl and are really pissy about Roger Goodell, and you want America to know that you trot out symphonies to let people know that Tom Brady has won four Super Bowls. If you’re a Seahawks fan, THE DYNASTY IS OVER THE DYNASTY IS OVER. And if you’re a Bills fan, it’s Week 1, you haven’t won anything yet.

Now, on to more important matters, fantasy football. Unless you’re in a league where you can trade draft picks, odds are you had a first round pick. If you’re like most sane people that spend way too much time with pretend football, you drafted Dez Bryant with a first rounder, ouch. Continue reading