Eat My Sports: Free agency come and me wanna Delhomme?
Posted on March 16, 2010
Filed Under Eat My Sports | Leave a Comment |
Every year my letdown from football season is softened by spring training for baseball. Some would call it a rebound chick, but baseball is my number one love, so it’s like having a first wife, getting a divorce, then realizing after about five years you had it right the first time. Full circle friends.
I’ll keep tabs on NFL free agency just so I know what’s happening, but I normally have several reasons to not give a crap: A) The Steelers are never active in free agency, so it’s not like I ever particularly cared that anyone was available, they weren’t coming to Pittsburgh B) 99% of the signings are never worth it, and you know they don’t make sense (see: Albert Haynesworth meets Washington Redskins). And that is where the 2010 free agency period has thrown me through a freaking loop, I’m confused, intrigued, and probably in need of a drink.
Where to start, well, since it’s in the headline, batter up for …
Jake Delhomme to Cleveland Browns/Brady Quinn to Broncos/Kyle Orton’s beard getting a little uncomfortable Read more
Written by Bryan SchoolsEat My Sports: Keep it in your pants, ‘Ben’
Posted on March 9, 2010
Filed Under Eat My Sports | Leave a Comment |
Today’s column is an open letter to the two-time Super Bowl Champion, and accused sexual aggressor, Ben Roethlisberger.
Dear Ben,
You don’t know me, and hell probably never will. I represent a very insignificant portion of the fan base that dons your jersey and supports you even in your boneheaded decisions on and off the field. We have comes to terms with the facts that a) your head will be comprised of jello by age 40 thanks to our AWESOME offensive line b) you seem to have an insatiable sexual appetite, by reputation and police reports, and c) that mustache you had going at the end of last season did not help any of the above statements. Read more
Eat My Sports: FOUR MORE YEARS!
Posted on March 2, 2010
Filed Under Eat My Sports | Leave a Comment |
Good day readers. It’s alright if you forgot, and after all these years, we don’t expect anything. What? You don’t realize what we’re talking about? Sigh, I guess we’ll just sing “Happy Birthday” to ourselves …
Alright, now it’s time to stop moping around. It’s a celebration, enjoy yourselves. Today we turned four. Weird right? Doesn’t seem that long ago that amidst a four-way AIM conversation, that the four of us contrived this half-baked idea that people might actually read our spin on what’s happening around the world. And for the most part, not too many people do actually care about what we write, but we do strike a nerve with some, and this site my friends is for you. Read more
Written by Bryan SchoolsEat My Sports: T-Mac attack
Posted on February 23, 2010
Filed Under Eat My Sports | Leave a Comment |
I’m finally done with my near year-long ranting of football and baseball, you get a baseball column in the next few weeks because pitchers and catchers reported last week. However this week I’m here to praise an un-praiseable situation. Congratulations New York!
No, I’m not nor will I ever be a Yankees fan. I hope they all have herpes inflammations during a playoff run next year, fans and team included. No, we’re here to praise the New York Knicks for accomplishing something many, especially myself, never thought they would in the next decade: put themselves in contention.
Everyone knows that at the turn of the millennium, the Knickerbockers have sucked more than Hoover products, the Oakland Raiders and pre-girl only Jenna Jameson combined. And they have a 317-436 record to show for it since the beginning of the ‘00-’01 season. The combination of bad ownership, horrible drafts, Isaiah Thomas and trades for every overpaid, past their prime shooting guard in the league (Stephon Marbury, Steve Francis, Penny Hardaway, Shandon Anderson, Howard Eisley … you get it now, they sucked) left New York trailing only Britney Spears’ mid-decade breakdown as the biggest laughingstock since George W. Bush …, you know what? Enough with the references, you get it, I’m up on sports and pop culture. Read more
Written by Bryan SchoolsEat My Sports: NFL year in review
Posted on February 16, 2010
Filed Under Eat My Sports | Leave a Comment |
Give me an adjustment period, OK? Look, pitchers and catchers reported today, but it is still a good little while until baseball is in full swing. I’m going to try and branch out to cover some different sports like NASCAR or midget tossing, but for the meantime, let me live in the past.
Predicted NFC division winners: Philadelphia, Atlanta, Green Bay, Seattle
Result: 0-4
How it happened: Um, look, as dead on as I was last year, things took a turn. Now mind you I did have Philadelphia, Green Bay and Minnesota making the playoffs, so three out of six ain’t bad. I will take the blame for you wagering any money on Atlanta, Chicago and Seattle though. If you put your faith in Matt Hasselbeck or Jay Cutler, you’re dumber than I am for writing this crap. Read more
Eat My Sports: TAINTed
Posted on February 9, 2010
Filed Under Eat My Sports | Leave a Comment |
To put it lightly this year, I’m disappointed in the Super Bowl. From CBS’ production, to the lackluster commercials, to the downright overall feel from kickoff that this game was just not special. It sucked, and you know it.
Look, I’m happy as hell for the city of New Orleans. They deserved this. After all of the crap they have been through since Katrina, this is a feel good moment that will last a very long time. But I’m not paid to talk cities, I’m paid to talk football and there are several reasons that this game will go down as one of the worst Super Bowls of all time. Read more
Written by Bryan SchoolsEat My Sports: The world is ending, might as well drink 2.0
Posted on February 2, 2010
Filed Under Booze News, Eat My Sports | Leave a Comment |
Welcome back to the apocalypse. If any of you recall, last year we decided to make some drinking rules for the Super Bowl, because, you know, it was the end of the world. My reasoning was that the Tampa Bay Rays had made the World Series and Bono was still alive. Well, the Rays didn’t make it this year, but unfortunately Bono did. So, that being the case, because the Super Bowl is going to be a blur, we’re going to make your evening one.
Written by Bryan SchoolsNOTE: We do not recommend playing by these rules because there is a strong chance that you will die.
Eat My Sports: Favre’d again
Posted on January 26, 2010
Filed Under Eat My Sports, Favre Watch '10 | Leave a Comment |
Every year we approach the end of the football season with our thoughts on the Super Bowl, the upcoming draft, and of course Brett Favre’s impending retired, un-retired, retired, un-retired dance. It gets old, it gets oversaturated, I love it. Favre adds drama in the middloe of February where sports as a whole goes to die. But before we even get there take a look at this season and admire the guy for what he did.
Yes, I think Favre should audition to be the next lead-singer of Me First and The Gimme Gimmes, but look back at Minnesota last year. Remember them? They were the team that couldn’t decide between Gus Frerotte and Tarvaris Jackson to lead their team in the playoffs. Essentially the Vikings were about as close to being a Super Bowl contender as Madonna is to being a virgin, Favre lessened the ever-widening gap. Read more
Written by Bryan SchoolsAnyone up for waffles?
Posted on January 26, 2010
Filed Under Favre Watch '10 | Leave a Comment |
And here we go again. After Sunday night’s 31-28 defeat at the hands of Bourbon Street, Brett Favre once again is saying it is “highly unlikely” he will grace us with his presence on the football field. Don’t worry though, given that this story has never gathered much steam in the past, we’ll keep tabs on it for you … right up until Favre signs after training camp.
Written by Bryan SchoolsEat My Sports: On a McGwire
Posted on January 19, 2010
Filed Under Eat My Sports | Leave a Comment |
Maybe I’m too numb to the whole steroids issue now. Maybe the past 10 years of scrutiny have gotten me to the point where I literally don’t care. Maybe I am willing to overlook things now because its being revealed how common steroids were, but at any rate I’m supporting Mark McGwire, and you should too.
Do any of you even remember why you care about baseball now? It sure as hell isn’t because the Yankees won the World Series or that Randy Johnson got his 300th career win at age 7,892 as a member of the Giants. No, majority of you are fans or have a mild check on the pulse of baseball because of what transpired between two disgraced sluggers 11 and a half years ago. Read more
Written by Bryan Schools keep looking »