Ah, yes, January. The time where every news or sports-affiliated program recaps the year that was, all while making bold predictions about the year to come, most of which will never happen. I’m not here to do any top-10s or even go over the most important event s of the year, I’m just here to give my biased sports opinion on the year that was. So, in case you were busy trying to get a pants on the ground massage from a former Jets employee, odds are, you missed it.
Favre from over
In the story that has really never ended since about 2005, Brett Favre and his texting penis came back for one final NFL season after last year’s debacle in the Superdome. In his final comeback, Favre would spend more time on the sidelines and in the commissioner’s office than actually playing on the field. And in leaving no stone unturned, when Favre left, thanks to TMZ, we now have seen literally all he has to offer. Continue reading
This week, Bryan Schools is off. We are not exactly sure why. At last report he was drunkenly wandering the streets of Baltimore as his holiday-themed alter-ego Roethlisberger Claus, offering women rides on his lap. Whether he really asked them beforehand is unclear. In any case, I, Bryan McBournie, am here to fill in. You can think of me as backup quarterback, Tarvaris Jackson.
I am here to talk about easily the worst person playing in the National Football League, also one of the most talked-about these days: Brett Favre. His streak is over, everyone, and pretty much no one is surprised by that, but somehow Favre topped himself.
You see, Brett Favre is a tremendous douche. Continue reading
In news that will shock you, Brett Favre is back in Minnesota after babysitter Brad Childress had three Vikings sent down to Mississippi to essentially recruit Favre for one more season in the NFL. We know this comes as a surprise, but all signs point to the man who avoids drama coming back for a 20th NFL campaign.
Brett Favre has finally made a decision, sort of. Favre, best known for his role in There’s Something About Mary, will return for a 20th NFL season IF Southern Miss’ baseball team makes the College World Series. No word yet if Favre is trying to suck the media spotlight away from any other sports yet.
If you’re tired of Brett Favre news, and God knows we’re not, then don’t continue reading. Otherwise, this next tidbit is for you.
Babies: they crap all over the place, stumble around, cry uncontrolably, basically they’re like the drunkest guy/girl at a party with severe daddy issues, fun for nobody. Especially when they take away from YOUR spotlight. Well imagine if you’re the biggest attention whore ever. Then imagine the spotlight taken away not only if you had a child, but a grandchild. Can you imagine, Brett?
Every year we approach the end of the football season with our thoughts on the Super Bowl, the upcoming draft, and of course Brett Favre’s impending retired, un-retired, retired, un-retired dance. It gets old, it gets oversaturated, I love it. Favre adds drama in the middloe of February where sports as a whole goes to die. But before we even get there take a look at this season and admire the guy for what he did.
Yes, I think Favre should audition to be the next lead-singer of Me First and The Gimme Gimmes, but look back at Minnesota last year. Remember them? They were the team that couldn’t decide between Gus Frerotte and Tarvaris Jackson to lead their team in the playoffs. Essentially the Vikings were about as close to being a Super Bowl contender as Madonna is to being a virgin, Favre lessened the ever-widening gap. Continue reading
And here we go again. After Sunday night’s 31-28 defeat at the hands of Bourbon Street, Brett Favre once again is saying it is “highly unlikely” he will grace us with his presence on the football field. Don’t worry though, given that this story has never gathered much steam in the past, we’ll keep tabs on it for you … right up until Favre signs after training camp.