Eat My Sports: The Exorcism of Derrick Rose

One of my biggest problems as a sports fan, and I think a lot of people come across this problem when their teams continually find epic ways to suck, is I am a sports masochist. Specifically, in my lifetime, it has been being a fan of the New York Knicks.

In the past 16 years it has been one embarrassment after another. Whether it was the truly awesome experience of having Stephon Marbury (one of two professional athletes I can name with a tattoo on their face, but at least Mike Tyson is funny), the relentless overpaying of past their prime ballhogs, or the mortgaging of over five years worth of draft picks to get Carmelo Anthony when he was going to be a free agent later in the year anyways.

Simply put, the New York Knicks keep finding even worse ways to make you feel optimistic. Enter Derrick Rose. Continue reading Eat My Sports: The Exorcism of Derrick Rose

Eat My Sports: We Deserved Better Choices Than These Two

We’re here folks, it’s down to this, we’ve made it down to the final weeks and we have two choices, and they both suck. Congratulations, America, either Cleveland or Chicago will win the World Series, and neither of their insufferable fan bases will let us hear the end of it when they do.

Under normal circumstances, having either of these teams win wouldn’t be as much of an issue, but these are troubled times, folks, and there’s an unprecedented level of douche we will have to suffer.

First off, let’s talk about Cleveland, the city that God forgot. Cleveland is not a tortured city, because your teams have to come close to winning a title before you can be lumped into that category. But Ohio now has this weird line of thinking that because LeBron James carried the Cavaliers to the NBA title, that somehow that was going to carry over to the Browns, and that it was the reason for the Indians success this year. Continue reading Eat My Sports: We Deserved Better Choices Than These Two

Eat My Sports: Adios, Big Papi

Over the past 10 and a half years, neither Bryan McBournie nor I have shied away from being avid Boston Red Sox fans. Also, should this survive another 10 and a half years, we won’t shy away from it then either. With that being the case, neither of us have bothered ogling over the single best final season of any player in any sport. I don’t care who your favorite team or player is, David Ortiz called his shot. He announced his final season, knowing the spectacle it would become and still delivered a .315 batting average, 38 home runs and 127 RBI.

Those are not I’m leaving because my skills are diminishing numbers.

Realistically I think Papi could’ve played at least one, maybe two more seasons, but a legend in his time, and trust me, he knows this, wants to go out with you remembering them at their best. The second-greatest Red Sox player of all-time after Ted Williams was extremely self aware of how he wanted to be remembered, and this season allowed us to live through one more season of Ortiz at his best and we won’t forget it. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Adios, Big Papi

Eat My Sports: Brangelina Filed For Divorce. You Are Welcome Colin Kaepernick

Unless you live under a rock, you undeniably know two things as of today:
1) Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have split (I called this back in 2005, better late than never).
2) Spearheaded by 49ers backup quarterback Colin Kaepernick, players around the NFL are attempting to raise awareness for racially profiled police brutality by kneeling or raising their fists during The National Anthem.

Sorry, Brangelina, this column isn’t about you, and it’s also not about the NFL players or their cause. No, I like to keep things light. Today, we are paying tribute to you, Lee Zeldin! Continue reading Eat My Sports: Brangelina Filed For Divorce. You Are Welcome Colin Kaepernick

Eat My Sports: Football Is Back And I have No Idea Who To Pick To Win The Super Bowl

We are now officially two evenings away from the NFL season kicking off and all I have to say is thank God. Sundays have been an abominable bore since February and now I finally have something on TV I care about watching Monday, Thursday and Friday. Life is good.

Now, the only problem with having a sports column is that I feel obligated to make a pick, like everyone else as to who will win the Super Bowl. Only problem with that is this year I can narrow it down to a handful of teams who are contenders  but I can’t seem to pull the trigger, as everyone is flawed. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Football Is Back And I have No Idea Who To Pick To Win The Super Bowl

Eat My Sports: It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

It’s the end of August folks. That means one thing if you are red-blooded American: football is almost here. More importantly than football being back, fantasy football is back! Where for three glorious months you get to take credit for the accomplishments of others. You’re the only person on the planet who knew Antonio Brown was good, you had the guts to draft one Robert Gronkowski, ONLY YOU KNEW THAT AARON RODGERS CAN THROW A FOOTBALL REALLY WELL!

Over the years I’ve come to acknowledge how both stupid and genius the concept of fantasy football is, but the best part is that it leads to smack talk and bragging rights amongst you and your friends. Continue reading Eat My Sports: It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Eat My Sports: Steroid News, No One Cares

The 2016 NFL season is almost upon us and the collective American fan base is about to lose their mind over it. It’s been a relatively tame offseason since the league’s scripted way to have Peyton Manning retire with one more ring happened, at least until this week.

Going back to December, players linked to the Al Jazeera report about PED use have been asked to meet with the league. Only one, the aforementioned Manning, actually did. This leaves a prominent class of James Harrison, Clay Matthews and Julius Peppers among others who are being required to meet with the league and explain their connection or face an indefinite suspension from the league. And the overall sentiment is … no one cares. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Steroid News, No One Cares

Eat My Sports: Whose Suicide Are You On Anyway?

Like a lot of people around the world, I really enjoy going to the movies. Also, like many adults that have small children, it’s freaking impossible to get out to theatres to go see a new release. Also, being an adult man of 33 that still enjoys comic books (at least their stories in film version now) at the same level I did 23 years ago, having my wife say that she had to see a comic movie in theatres made that movie a must see. That meant at the beginning of the summer, I knew I was going to see at least one movie in theatres, and that held true, I have seen one, “Suicide Squad,” and I didn’t even try to overthink it.

Unlike a lot of people around the world, especially comic fanboys, I didn’t freak out when I saw Jared Leto’s Hot Topic images of The Joker come out last year. I get that this is hallowed ground for some people, but just about everyone that freaked out over the tattooed-pimp look were the same people that hated the idea of Heath Ledger getting the role about a decade ago. But I also knew that his role in this movie wasn’t to be the front and center star. The DC Cinematic Universe made it abundantly clear that this was the Margot Robbie/Harley Quinn show. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Whose Suicide Are You On Anyway?

Eat My Sports: Welcome Back, Pay Me!

The calendar turned to August yesterday, meaning a couple of things. The collective groan of kids realizing their summer is almost over fills the air and of course, it’s training camp for those of you who need a football fix. Each year brings a fresh round of malcontents who hold out for a new contract in a lot of cases, one that had been recently signed within two years.

I am all for players getting whatever they can while they can, mainly due to the NFL’s unfair system of no fully guaranteed contracts and being able to cut a player at any time (but, I put the onus on this on the player’s for their inability to fix this issue every time a new CBA comes up). There is no loyalty from the league or ownership, so, when your next play could always be your last, get your money.

Some people though seem to go about everything the wrong way on it and make themselves look like idiots in the process. This year’s moron? DeAndre Hopkins! Hopkins is in year four of a four year $7.6 million dollar contract, with a club option for a fifth year of $7.9. So yeah, when you go to your boss for your performance review and ask for your 3% raise, please think of poor DeAndre and the $15.5 million he will receive for simply playing out a deal that he signed. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Welcome Back, Pay Me!

Eat My Sports: Is Nu Metal Actually Dead?

Every weekend I have one routine that never gets old, I update my music collection by logging into iTunes and see what albums I want to add to my permanent digital collection that are in the $5.99-$6.99 range. It’s fun because you come across stuff that you forgot how much you actually liked. It’s taken me back to No Doubt’s “Tragic Kingdom” (which reminds me of how much I can’t stand Gwen Stefani now), to Bush’s “Razorblade Suitcase (which reminds me of how much I can’t stand Gwen Stefani now) all the way up to Nothing But Thieves, Catfish and the Bottlemen and for some reason I got sentimental about Fall Out Boy’s “From Under the Cork Tree.”

A couple of weeks ago I came across what now might be considered a secret shame, but from 1998-2001 you and everyone else were blasting everywhere, Limp Bizkit. Rap/Metal wasn’t anything new when it came to the front of the mainstream after Korn’s “Follow the Leader” knocked down the door for anyone who had a metal band and a frontman who could reasonably rhyme. Rage Against the Machine, Beck, Beastie Boys and Red Hot Chili Peppers had already laid down the groundwork to know that the genre was accepted. However, few did it to the successful degree of Limp Bizkit, because let’s face it, Fred Durst, for as much as you hate him, is as savvy a businessman/opportunist as you will find and for four years made his band the biggest on the planet. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Is Nu Metal Actually Dead?