Fox News is home to more anger and indignation than one yellow couch can contain, especially for a news channel. And with its early efforts at promoting the Tea Party, including the organization and promotion of several “FNC Tax Day Tea Parties” back in 2009, it’s clearly designed to help you get angry, too.
78-year-old Walter Williams was tagged, bagged and ready to ride the formaldehyde pony at a funeral home when he started kicking through his body bag. The funeral director and coroner were there to fortunately let him out, which says a lot for their professionalism. The Guys wouldn’t have been able to put our shotguns and chainsaws down long enough to open a zipper.
Holmes County Coroner, Dexter Howard, believes that Williams’ defibrillator may have started his heart up again sometime after being found with no pulse and declared dead. But, they refuse to legally declare him a zombie. So, it looks like Mississippi will drag down the Union once more, only — instead of with low standardized test scores and obesity rates — it will be by refusing to name that which was once living and is now undead.
The state Supreme Court in Georgia ruled Monday that, while it is a crime to mail unsolicited nude photos of yourself without a warning on the envelope, it is not illegal to do it electronically.
But, let’s not lose focus on the nitty-gritty legal details here. (Although, side note: take caution opening text messages at work from The Guys for at least a week.) The important factor here is that Charles Lee Warren is free to text pictures of his schlong tattoo for as long as he can keep it up. (Keep up his camera.)
True, the married mother of young children who received Warren’s photo either wasn’t impressed or felt threatened, hence her charges. But, aren’t the rest of us just a little curious to see it since it’s tattooed to say, “STRONG E nuf 4 A MAN BUT Made 4 A WOMAN?”
There are so many unanswered questions here. Does it go down the shaft, or around it like the inscription on the One Ring? The phrase is pretty long, but did Warren resort to Prince/Sinead O’Connor title numbers because it isn’t long enough?
Not satisfied with being the most hated man in America, George Zimmerman announced that he will pioneer a whole new level of deplorability by becoming a lawyer.
Say what you will about him: any old a**hole could simply rest on his laurels. But, not Mr. Zimmerman. Rather than simply pull the ladder up behind him as King of Dick Mountain, he’s extending a rope down to others who may one day aspire to his level of gratingness:
‘I think that’s the best way to stop the miscarriage of justice that happened to me from happening to someone else. I don’t think it should ever happen to anyone ever again, not one person.’
At least he sort of recognizes that what happened to him (not serving time for shooting an unarmed youth) was miscarriage of justice. Which is why he needs to step up his hooliganry ASAP.
Sure, none of us have been able to tolerate Canadian Justin Bieber since his arrival on the music scene sometime in 2009, however recent developments over him going full-Lohan have The Biebs possibly on the brink of being deported back to the land of hockey and Molson Ice.
We would like to give credit to CNN for giving us this gem of a headline, involving Bieber’s egg probe “tightening up.”