Category: Headline of the Day
It was in their name the whole time
As any medical drama will resort to when the ratings get low, the scariest murderers are doctors because, as protectors of human life, they know every off-switch (like our susceptibility to grillbrush bristles). Or how, according to police dramas in a similar pickle, cops make the best criminals.
Well, it was only a matter of time before firemen — or firepeople, as they’re called nowadays — lived up to the ironic double-meaning of their name. It turned out they were both flammable and inflammable this whole time.
… What? Those words mean the same thing? Then what do you call things that can’t be set on fire? Forget it. This is just a rehash of our old argument that somehow “pervy” isn’t the opposite of “impervious.”
Zuck it
Facebook’s rocky trading start has been fodder for a to of media, including us. But let’s give credit where it’s due for today’s headline of the day.
I approve this name change
As a fan of dinosaurs for all of my life, would I change my name to one akin to them? No, but then again, I’m not formerly Tyler Gold.
Now, all the man formerly known as Tyler Gold has to do is become an astronaut and he’s set.
This is the best headline you will ever see
I might be prone to hyperbole, and yes, this story is extremely hyperbolic.
BUT: I guarantee you, this is the single greatest story you will ever see. Just a warning though, as the results are pretty much exactly as you think they are. And yet, it does not disappoint.
She said it, not us
How about Bangville instead?
There’s a certain town in Austria that’s decided it might need to change its name. We’d let you know what exact city it is, but it’s VERY NOT SAFE FOR WORK. As is this link telling you about the situation.
As such, we’ll just call the town Fudge, Austria.
For some moms, nagging starts early
Today’s Headline of the Day is a dire warning: “Never wake a sleeping baby.”
We all know the hazards of infants. But, sleeping babies are like sleep walkers. Waking one up during their routine murder spree dreams could put you and your family at risk, especially once they reach they early moving-around stages.
But, depressed moms refuse to heed this warning, and science is trying to figure out why. Possible motives include worrying about the baby’s health or needing emotional reassurance from something you’ve made. (The Guys hug daily print-outs of our Web site every night.) They did not consider the theory that we submitted: revenge for midnight feedings.
Romney, you old womanizer you
Its not that the headline itself is bad, but did you have to put him next to a woman directly underneath this now suggestive headline of the day?