You may drink a lot — and often — but you will never be a true lover of the sauce if you let a hangover slow you down.
Researchers from the University of Missouri and Brown University (that’s Ivy League!) found that, when alcoholics logged their drinking over 21 days, they found no difference in drinking patterns between days with and without hangovers. So, while this doesn’t definitively prove the use of “hair of the dog” treatments, it definitely proves that proves boozers don’t let a little discomfort, nausea, diarrhea or being cut off from the bar deter them from their sport.
Therefore: if you want to soar with the barflies, then you don’t have time to be sick.
This blog has never been big on believing in “facts” or “information,” which is why we come so close to agreeing with climate change deniers. (Does it feel warm to you? No! Case in point!) They say this climate mumbo-jumbo is nothing but an elaborate, worldwide plot by those fat cat scientists to drain economies while spreading panic. Today we’re almost inclined to agree.
Well done, science. You and your golden-labcoated friends can use another $10,000 to light up your cigars tonight. You’ve scared Chipotle into considering taking away the thing we love most. Now you can tell us all about rising sea levels and make it sound like beachfront property in Indiana isn’t a good thing.
Fox News is home to more anger and indignation than one yellow couch can contain, especially for a news channel. And with its early efforts at promoting the Tea Party, including the organization and promotion of several “FNC Tax Day Tea Parties” back in 2009, it’s clearly designed to help you get angry, too.
We’ve all heard the reviews on Sex Panther: that it works 60 percent of the time all the time and that it smells like Bigfoot’s dick. But, you know what works 100 percent of the time all the time? Male goat pheromone.
The scent of male sheep and goats — also known as rams and … male goats — contains a pheromone called 4-ethyloctanal that, when exposed to oxygen, converts to a related compound called 4-ethyloctanoic acid. And we don’t have to tell you what happens after that. (Knowwhatwe’resayin’?)
[We've just been informed that you do not, in fact, knowwhatwe'resayin'.]
The resulting acid, when inhaled by females of their species, causes their reproductive systems to kick in, getting them all twitterpated. And if that’s not worth smelling like Bigfoot’s cable knit sweater, then we don’t know what is.
In Portland, Maine (also known as “Hey, what about us?”), a woman has made a super unique cologne: it’s the scent of attractive man. For female cows. Maybe?
Unlike aglets, its purpose is not sinister, but it’s not exactly super beneficial. Apparently being of a hardier stock, the men of Maine are those that enjoy smelling like having worked an honest day’s work but still want to smell good for a night out. As such, Lisa Brodar has come up with a scent that can be worn around babies and livestock: “Farmer.”
Again, location is everything. This is a scent that most probably wouldn’t leave Maine. If it were a scent worn in, say, Wales, well, those cows might join the sheep in what’s regularly an unpleasant time.
Part of their curiosity comes from a lack of portraits of Trey painted during his lifetime. All the ones we know were painted 40 to 50 years later after well-established Tudor rule, so not under the most flattering of lights.
Turi King, the geneticist originally identified 3Dick from his DNA and will lead the genome project, believes that sequencing his DNA will shed some light on his hair and eye color, whether he was predisposed to having scoliosis — proving that he could have indeed been a hunchback – and if he could take Prince Charles in a fight. (See? Told you they were gonna clone him!)
We’re not sure what restoring the Plantagenet line means for Britain — since we’re not sure what exactly a Plantagenet does — but we’re positive that this can’t be good for the Windsors.
OK, so some scientists have traced the genetic roots (ha!) of the South American bottle gourd — which people have used since before Columbus to carry and store their water — and found that it must have floated over intact from Africa.
Fascinating, but not why this story came to The Guy’s attention.
No, the reason we’re sharing this with you is to launch our new post category: Copy of the Day. (For non-journos, that’s short for copywriting, or the act of writing things you don’t care about because you’re paid to do so.)
And, folks, Los Angeles Times writer Melissa Healy can barely contain herself about bottle gourds, right in the very first sentence:
The bottle gourd, beloved since pre-Columbian times not only for its voluptuous shape but for its endless uses … [emphasis ours].
Becoming a scientist isn’t easy. There’s years of school and hard work, but when you finally get there, you get to put fake tails on chickens and make money doing it.
Researchers at the University of Chicago and the University of Chile want to know how the Tyrannosaurus rex walked millions of years ago. So, rather than set up a computer model based on what we know of their skeletal structure, they took some chickens and strapped dinosaur tails on them. Because math is hard.
The chicken is one of the closest living relatives to many species of dinosaur, including T. rex. If we get to humiliate the kin of the once-rulers of the Earth, it’s kind of like we get to rub it in their faces, too.
After years of doctors insisting on putting their colonoscopy cameras on hoses to get them back, inventors have finally created a pill-form camera that patients swallow. Once inside, the camera takes images of the digestive system and, once it reaches the end, can be excreted for those cheap ass doctors.
The FDA has approved their use … but you have to try the old style up the Hershey Highway route first. The method is only allowed if your doctor is unable to complete the total colonoscopy procedure due to patient discomfort.