It’s new the holiday sensation

We all like holidays. They give us time off and a chance to recuperate. Sometimes we even get stuff during them, even if the presents are lame (seriously, argyle socks?). There are even a fair amount of people out there like to celebrate a fictitious holiday called “Christmas in July.”

Screw that noise.

In honor of a recent archaeological discovery, I’m declaring this month to be “Easter at the end of June.” Why? Five words and a number: 3,000-year-old rotten easter eggs.

At least we’ll look better during chemo

Eureeka! Medical science has saved us all again!

(Warning: the preceding link features images of a shaved, and therefore, naked mouse. It’s probably safe for work, but really weird.)

Remember when we used to say that about discoveries of great merit like the polio vaccine or the artificial heart? We’re not saying doctors and researchers have dropped the ball, but …

No, wait. We are saying that.

Imagine a world run on brew

Lately, everyone is after the coolest new source of alternative energy. There are some unusual ideas out there: corn, food waste and even cow manure are potential sources. But scientists in Australia are looking for something tastier.

Their energy idea: beer. This blog really doesn’t understand the process but it has something to do with bacteria eating the sugar in beer to make energy.

All that means is less beer for humans.

This week in alcohol

After a fun night out at the bars, one German man in Berlin found himself far too drunk to drive. He made the mature decision about it and didn’t drive. He did, however, get on his horse to head home. Realizing he was too tired to make it there, he stopped at a bank, locked his trusty steed and himself in the outer lobby where the ATMs were and slept it off.

First off, who has horses in Berlin? Secondly, when you’re drunk, the world is your bed.

Think you don’t need math? If you like drinking, you are sorely mistaken. U.S. scientists have come up with a mathematic formula to pour a pint of beer with the perfect amount of foam. Good luck understanding it, though.