Here’s an ethical problem for you: you just had literal wild monkey sex with Cindy Sue, the poop flinging ape slut of the jungle. Thanks to your tryst, you now have gonorrheape.
Or is it the newest/oldest practical joke by those ca-raaaazy Amazonians? I look forward to the day when highways are uncovered and debated about as “archeological finds of the century”.
Grammar is for the birds.
Is there anything that testicles can’t do for you?
Nothing scares me more than the fact that snot-nosed preteens with nearly exploding pimples are now exploding acid bombs at their middle school. On the brighter side, at least kids might now be paying attention to chemistry class better…or at least, the internet.
With the Godzilla movies coming to a close for a minimum of 10 years, combined with the fact that both Moguera and Jet Jaguar suck, Japan needs a new kind of creature to protect its people.
In keeping with the recent trends of this blog to cover artifacts and new species, have you ever heard of a rat-squirrel? Didn’t think so. Most non-paleontologists haven’t, since science was said it had gone extinct millions of years ago. That is until they found one this week.
In a modern-day coelacanth story (that story is so last century!), scientists found a live species of a family long thought to be extinct for 11 million years. It was found this week in Laos. Scientists say they are pleased to find an ancient species to study, and add that it is best served with a side of kimchi.
In other news, cancel your weekend plans.
It would appear that France has discovered something furry other than the legs of their native female inhabitants.
A new species of crustacean has appeared off of the coast of Easter Island. So unique is this creature that it has genus. That’s fairly big for all of you non-biologist type people. Seriously people, the comparison between furry limbed crustaceans and French women with crabs writes itself.
Wonder how it tastes?
Ten years ago, the bones of an ancient hunter were found in Washington state by local Umatilla Indians. The bones turned out to be over 9,000 years old. But the question was: was this guy a honky?
It’s been a subject of controversy for the past decade. If he was white, it would turn science’s idea of early Americans on its head. Turns out, no, he wasn’t. He was either Polynesian or from an ethnic group only found now in Japan.
More so, it seems that the guy took quite a beating. His bones displayed several indentations in his skull, a broken and healed rib and arthritis in his right elbow and some vertebrae. Also, he was a smoker. OK, I made that last part up.
This means, when did the first white people come to America? Was it Christopher Columbus, was it Leif Erikson? And that question remains to be answered. But one thing is for certain, they were football fans.