Category: Nostalgia Craze Gone Too Far

| Filed under It Must Be Science!, Nostalgia Craze Gone Too Far, War on Animals

Nostalgia-crazed scientists want to bring back ancient lion species

In recent centuries, mankind has been on a winning streak in wiping out animals. But we still have our work cut out for us, and we don’t need scientists bringing back ancient species on top of that.

That’s why a team of Russian and South Korean scientists needs to be stopped. They are working on extracting DNA from a pair of frozen cave lions that were found frozen in Russia last year. Our ancestors killed off the Panthera leo atrox some 12,000 years ago, and we are safer for it. But now, these foolish people in lab coats want to bring them back.

Should they be successful, The Guys are organizing a hunting party. Spears only. Be there.

| Filed under Booze News, Nostalgia Craze Gone Too Far

Hot beer is the hot new thing

Most people worth knowing like beer. Even better people like craft beer. But the problem with liking craft beer is that you have to keep up with the hottest trends. Now, it’s hot beer.

Beer geeks know that beer doesn’t have to be served ice cold, despite what Coors Light commercials say. Some European brews are even served at room temperature. But the cool kids are heating up their beer now. Turns out it’s actually a tradition that died out during the 19th century, when weary travelers would come in from the cold to sit by a tavern fire with a hot mug of beer.

Just remember to pour the beer out of the can before you microwave it.

| Filed under Nostalgia Craze Gone Too Far, The McBournie Minute

The McBournie Minute: Food nostalgia must die

America is the eating champion of the world, and we have been for 72-years straight. No one can eat like us. They don’t even come close. We compete against each other to eat the most hot dogs, pies and other healthy snacks. We have entire TV network dedicated to the cooking and enjoying of food.

We’re also adventurous eaters. As a country, we enjoy more variety of food than any generation before us. No one thinks twice if you say you’re having Vietnamese-Cuban infusion for lunch, and mouths water at “innovations” like waffle tacos or pizza with a Doritos crust. But with all this looking forward in food, we seem to find ourselves looking wistfully at the past.

It’s a terrible trend. Don’t believe me? Continue reading

| Filed under Facepalm, Headline of the Day, Nostalgia Craze Gone Too Far

Coming Soon: … A collection of plastic moving parts from a recent movie

Coming soon to a desk near you. (We're joking that it's a paperweight.) (Paper is chewed up tree pulp that we sometimes print text onto. Yes, like wasps.)
Coming soon to a desk near you. (We’re joking that it’s a paperweight.) (Paper is chewed-up tree pulp that we sometimes print text onto.) (Yes, like wasps.)

In case you younger viewers were confused by the piece of sci-fi alien tech that Starlord used in Guardians of the Galaxy, it’s called a tape cassette and actually comes from our own species’ past.

And now, you can buy one, even if you don’t have the means to play it.

And that’s a good thing because you don’t have the tool to fix your cassette when it eventually unspools.
| Filed under Nostalgia Craze Gone Too Far

Cocking up world affairs in Eastern Europe

"Get it? Chicken Kiev? It's a traditional Russian dish and the capital of Ukraine? (Nice boy, but about as  sharp as a bowling ball.)"
“Get it? Chicken Kiev? It’s a traditional Russian dish and the capital of Ukraine? (Nice boy, but about as sharp as a bowling ball.)”

Russia is very serious about sanctions concerning Ukraine.

“How serious are they?!” you ask, suspiciously helpful reader who remembers a Johnny Carson bit from 30 years ago.

They’re so serious that they’re willing to give up Chicken Kiev in response.

| Filed under Nostalgia Craze Gone Too Far

Getting juiced up in Tennessee

They used to strap criminals into wooden chairs, then high amounts of electricity through their bodies until they were dead. Those were the good old day, weren’t they? Well happy days are coming back soon, Tennessee is working to jolt the electric chair back to the forefront.

State lawmakers want to reinstate Thomas Edison’s favorite form of execution for inmates on death row, should the drugs used for lethal injections become scarce. Bills in both the Tennessee House and Senate want to see inmates ride the lightning once again.

| Filed under Nostalgia Craze Gone Too Far

Titanic: Now with anti-iceberg death ray

We’ve commemorated centennial of the tragic voyage of the Titanic a couple weeks ago, but that’s just not enough for some people, including an Australian billionaire. (What is it with that country’s rich and their attempts to out-eccentric our 1%?) Clive Palmer wants to build a new Titanic to sail from England to North America, or at least try.

The planned Titanic II would have the same dimensions and number of decks as the original, but with all the modern technology and comforts found on modern cruise ships. They will still lock the Irish in the steerage, just for old times’ sake.

| Filed under It Must Be Science!, Nostalgia Craze Gone Too Far

The older the berry

Jurassic Park is finally here.

We’ve been telling you for quite some time that scientists are hellbent on recreating life that went extinct ages ago, particularly the wooly mammoth. But now, they’ve finally done it. A species long-dead has been brought back to life once more, and it’s a plant. (Hey, Jurassic Park had ancient plants, too.)

Russian scientists (it’s always the Russians) have successfully matured and grown prehistoric seeds into a flowering plant, with fruit and everything. The seeds are about 30,000 years old, found in a pre-Ice Age fruit tucked away in an ancient squirrel‘s nest. It had been sitting there in the Russian permafrost when it was discovered.

We can feel our ancestor’s allergies coming back right this moment.