Russia is very serious about sanctions concerning Ukraine.
“How serious are they?!” you ask, suspiciously helpful reader who remembers a Johnny Carson bit from 30 years ago.
They’re so serious that they’re willing to give up Chicken Kiev in response.
They used to strap criminals into wooden chairs, then high amounts of electricity through their bodies until they were dead. Those were the good old day, weren’t they? Well happy days are coming back soon, Tennessee is working to jolt the electric chair back to the forefront.
State lawmakers want to reinstate Thomas Edison’s favorite form of execution for inmates on death row, should the drugs used for lethal injections become scarce. Bills in both the Tennessee House and Senate want to see inmates ride the lightning once again.
We’ve commemorated centennial of the tragic voyage of the Titanic a couple weeks ago, but that’s just not enough for some people, including an Australian billionaire. (What is it with that country’s rich and their attempts to out-eccentric our 1%?) Clive Palmer wants to build a new Titanic to sail from England to North America, or at least try.
The planned Titanic II would have the same dimensions and number of decks as the original, but with all the modern technology and comforts found on modern cruise ships. They will still lock the Irish in the steerage, just for old times’ sake.
Jurassic Park is finally here.
We’ve been telling you for quite some time that scientists are hellbent on recreating life that went extinct ages ago, particularly the wooly mammoth. But now, they’ve finally done it. A species long-dead has been brought back to life once more, and it’s a plant. (Hey, Jurassic Park had ancient plants, too.)
Russian scientists (it’s always the Russians) have successfully matured and grown prehistoric seeds into a flowering plant, with fruit and everything. The seeds are about 30,000 years old, found in a pre-Ice Age fruit tucked away in an ancient squirrel‘s nest. It had been sitting there in the Russian permafrost when it was discovered.
We can feel our ancestor’s allergies coming back right this moment.