So, this is pretty cool. Archaeologists found a 3,000-year-old fancy prosthetic big toe in the Sheikh ´Abd el-Qurna tomb in Egypt back in 1997. After studying it, they found that it is remarkably advanced, being able to hold up body weight, flex and help the person it was fitted to walk relatively normally.
It also let the ancient one-percenter daughter of a priest continue wearing flip-flops, demonstrating the world’s oldest recorded case of #firstworldproblems. (Technically, this would be a #newkingdomproblem, amiright?)
So, good news if you need to fake your own ransom for money, time-travelling Bunny Lebowski.
Nobody knows whether Amazon founder, Washington Post owner and possibly billionaire supervillain Jeff Bezos bears humanity good or ill will. But, he’s bringing us working mechanized robot suits, so we guess we’re onboard either way. (At the very least, we’ll need our own lest we bring a gun to a mecha fight.)
Bezos demonstrated both a semi-working 13-foot tall, 1.5 ton Korean bipedal robotic vehicle and how slimming jumpsuits are this week at his MARS conference. An acronym for Machine-Learning, Automation, and Space Exploration, admittance was invitation only — no one unserious about conquering this world or any other allowed.
The only thing delaying our eventual dominance is that, while your average web purveyor of lube can operate the arms, nobody has seen the Method 2 walk yet. So, we’ve got some time yet to panic.
Whenever modern art enters discussion (like you, The Guys keep up very erudite circles), there will inevitably be a few dissenters who cannot stand the abstract. While much can be expressed outside of recognizable shape and form, you can’t help but wonder if it’s making fun of you. And then, when you see the price tag on an over-sized mobile made of garbage, then you’re sure it is.
Carved out of granite, the 36 cm (14 inches) “enigma” statuette of the late Neolithic era has a pointed nose and long neck leading to a markedly round belly, flat back and cylindrical stumpy legs.
Great. But, what is it?
‘It could depict a human-like figure with a bird-like face, or a bird-like entity which has nothing to do with man but with the ideology and symbolism of the Neolithic society,’ Katya Manteli, an archaeologist with the museum, told Reuters.
OK, but is it a boy or a girl duck … thing?
More puzzling still is the lack of clear indication of sex. Is it due to technical sculpting limitations? Or did the sculptor intend to create an asexual figure. […] ‘Yes, it could be a pregnant figure but there are no breasts, used in Neolithic times to depict the female body. On the other hand it lacks male organs so it is presented as an asexual figure,’ Manteli said.”
But which bathroom does it use?! Very important legislators in the U.S. need to know before passing anti-trans laws and eliminating the National Endowment for the Arts.
‘There are enigmatic aspects to it which make it charming.’
Well, there we go. The perfect term to describe any thing that is noteworthy but otherwise indescribable: it’s charming. This proves once and for all that art has always existed to shamefully infuriate us.
All in all, having a penis is pretty great. It makes it easy to pee anywhere, gives us something to play with when our phone battery dies and guarantees our voices will be heard in any meeting or election.
But, privilege acknowledged, nobody considers the relatively few, but none-the-less devastating challenges of having a penis, the hurdles it can prevent us from clearing. And, in Japanese pole vaulter Hiroki Ogita’s case, we mean literal hurdles.
Ogita was knocked out of the first round of the Olympics pole vault competition in Rio when he nearly cleared a height of 5.3 meters (17.3 feet). Though his leg and shin made contact with the bar, it remained in place. No, it was his penis that pulled it — and his Olympic dreams — back to earth.
Feminism is good for both men and women alike — up until today, British businessmen’s power strides into meetings were slowed down by receptionists hobbling in front of them on high heels — so you’d think it would be equally embraced by both genders. But, no, men are mostly either indifferent to or hostilely against feminism, and The Guys think it might be because too many feminist leaders are women.
The issue of immigration is a complicated one, fraught with legitimate concerns on both sides. Only one side, however, believes in building walls and using the military to keep barbarian hordes out, though. And, when it comes to the ongoing North African refugee crisis in Europe — Britain, Germany is looking your way.
It’s important to remember that, as we fight what seems to be a losing War on Animals every spring through fall, that natural selection has given us only the most fit of foes. So, it’s a tough war, but would our sacrifices mean anything if it was easy? Like, if the Caribbean salamander were still alive?
‘There are very few salamander fossils of any type, and no one has ever found a salamander preserved in amber,’ study author George Poinar, Jr., a professor emeritus in the Oregon State’s College of Science, said in a press release.
In other words: they were even dumb by salamander standards.
So, feel good about that bug you squashed today. Even if you outsize it by, like, 5 to 1? (we’re warriors, not model designers), you still crushed the very best nature could throw at you. And that’s why we choose to fight the animals: not because it is easy, but because it is hahd hard.
Law enforcement in Hanahan, South Carolina have finally begun cracking down on the latest vermin to infest our malls, parks and other public spaces: creepy chicks dressed as Elsa the Snow Queen from Disney’s Frozen.
Granted, the Hanahan Police Chief did it as a stunt to make people in South Carolina feel better about cold temperatures (and living in South Carolina), but we hope this is only the beginning of a larger national trend.
Ladies, this is all about gender equality. If it’s creepy for a guy to dress up as popular characters so that other people’s kids will hug him, then it’s also weird when women do it, too.