Do not adjust your monitor

Posted on April 9, 2008
Filed Under Picture of the Day | Leave a Comment |

Today’s Picture of the Day comes from Saini Sunpura, India, where a baby was born with two faces.

Both faces are functional, the father saying that “she drinks milk from her two mouths and opens and shuts all the four eyes at one time.” She also shows no signs of respiratory problems.

All should be well in India, unless she grows up to become the District Attorney of a city plagued with supervillains who will burn one of her faces with acid. There’s no fate worse than being played by Tommy Lee Jones. (”Gosh, we won’t need as much fake burned skin with his already cratered face!”)

Of course, her parents will be disqualified from settling their disputes with a baby toss. She’s twice as likely to land on heads.

Image Source: “Baby with two faces worshipped as a goddess,” CNN. 9 April 2008.

Written by Rick Snee

Cuddly? We’re afraid Knut

Posted on March 3, 2008
Filed Under Picture of the Day, War on Animals | Leave a Comment |

This blog has covered the ongoing saga of Knut, the bear cub that was raised by Berlin zookeepers after his mother decided it would be better if he died.

One year later, and his feeding habits have changed as evidenced by this new photo. (We’re guessing this child’s mother reached the same conclusion about her own offspring that Knut’s mother did.)

What’s interesting is that animal rights activists finally agree with us: “it would be better for him to die.” (Note: this quote is completely in context.)

Written by Rick Snee

‘Simpsons did it’

Posted on February 12, 2008
Filed Under It Must Be Science!, Picture of the Day | Leave a Comment |

NASA, the Jan to the Marsha (Department of Defense) and Cindy (Homeland Security) Bradies of the federal government, has found a new way to seek attention: recreating The Simpsons.

This blog, for one, welcomes our new chip overlords.

Written by Rick Snee

A new definition of dedication

Posted on February 6, 2008
Filed Under Booze News, Picture of the Day | 3 Comments |

Some people drink to have a good time. Others drink to make the voices go away. And some drink because they have a talent and drive to achieve the unachievable … to drink the undrinkable drink … to fight when they have nothing to booze …

*Ahem*

Anyway, today’s Picture of the Day is brought to you by “hungover Chris Foster, 18,” and the radiology department at NHS of the United Kingdom.

When the going got rough and friends probably threatened to take him home (he doesn’t remember), he swallowed his apartment key. Fortunately, this too passed and Foster didn’t have to pay £20 to his landlord for a new key. So, he’s all set for round two!

Written by Rick Snee

Iran catches up with 1957 USSR

Posted on February 5, 2008
Filed Under Headline of the Day, Picture of the Day | Leave a Comment |

Phase Two: rocket ships! SeriouslyLadies and Gentlemen, we have a tie for Picture of the Day and Headline of the Day, courtesy of crazy Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the confused British writers at The Guardian.

When asked about his 3D glasses, the little guy replied, “I’m glad you asked tha–Holy crap! My hand looks like it’s going to touch my face!”

When his hand did, in fact, touch his face, he was startled, but quickly regained composure.

Image: “Old Tin Toy” by Louise Docker

Written by Rick Snee

‘Top Gun’ inspires Brazilian international communications

Posted on January 28, 2008
Filed Under Picture of the Day | Leave a Comment |

What does this Brazilian model think of Fox News? See if you can read between the lines in her picture on their web site.

(Hint: it’s not a thumbs-up.)

Written by Rick Snee

Where there’s a tear, there’s a way

Posted on December 17, 2007
Filed Under Picture of the Day, Scurry '08 | Leave a Comment |

After years of tough talk, politicians worldwide have broken the code to getting what they want: crying like an 11-year-old girl when she really, really wants a pony. Or a phone in her room.

Mitt Romney admitted to bawling his little eyes out 30 years ago when the Mormon church decided black people are OK. His admission was accompanied with more tears, as was his speech last week where he explained that he’s better than secularists.

Meanwhile, the UN saw a softer side of Dutch sweetheart Yvo de Boer, who almost ruined his floral shirt with salty tears. Just like when Cindy Lou Who caused the Grinch’s heart to grow three-sizes, his crying fit brought the summit on climate change to an agreement to cut greenhouse gas emissions. (Daily Mail’s picture in this link wins the coveted SeriouslyGuys’ Picture of the Day.)

With the demeanor of a placating father reaching for his checkbook, “US delegation chief Paula Dobrainsky declared, ‘The United States is very committed to this effort and just wants to really ensure we all act together.

“‘With that, Mr. Chairman, let me say to you we will go forward and join consensus.’”

This blog is still waiting for the Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, to stiffle snot bubbles for his very own nuclear reactor.

Written by Rick Snee

NASA covers up spider attack

Posted on December 11, 2007
Filed Under Picture of the Day, War on Animals | Leave a Comment |

When it comes to the War on Animals, one critter has always been in the sights of our laser-guided newspapers and hushpuppies: spiders.

A particularly large spider was spotted attacking the already fragile space shuttle by news camera crews. This means that they know where our government is at its weakest.

What’s troubling is that NASA has apparently forced the news crew to issue a “clarification,” alledging that the spider was merely a camera trick and the launch was delayed because of “problems.”

Alright, NASA, what’s the deal? You claim the moon landings were real, but the spiders are camera tricks? We don’t care if you were established by Kennedy–you can’t have it both ways.

Written by Rick Snee