Rum barrel politics
Posted on August 20, 2010
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It’s been nearly four years since we mentioned the Pirate party. Back then, it was mostly in Sweden. If you stop and think about it, they probably should have called it the Viking party. Regardless, there is a U.S. branch of the political movement, as we reported four years ago. (Just think, a Pirate president could have served a full term in that time.)
But now, for some reason, they’ve been spotted in Oregon for the first time in a while (video). In case you forgot, the party stands for a free, open internet and a great deal of rum. Sure, the Pirate party doesn’t seem to have websites as the state level, but if they did, that would just make it easier for the navy to hunt them down.
This fall, vote for swashbuckling. Vote Pirate.
Remember: Talk Like a Pirate Day is only a month away!
Written by Bryan McBournieAs played by Steven Seagal
Posted on June 21, 2010
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No one expects the cook to be a martial arts bearing hero of the day. That expression is clearly shared by many of the Somalian pirates. It’s possibly a good thing that people are like that.
The cook for a band of Somali pirates managed to sneak food, cell phone cards and guns to a group of hostages taken by said pirates. His actions literally saved the hostages and the day. Which is why he’s apparently vanished off the face of the earth. Of course, that matter is complicated just a bit by European Union nations, Syria and Djibouti (best name for a country STILL) refuse to take him in.
It’s always promising to see bureaucracy keeping the old tradition of “no good deed goes unpunished” alive and well.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorWe’ve had parties like that
Posted on May 7, 2010
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What’s the largest gathering of pirates, you ask? Well, it’s 1,722. How do we know that? The Guys are all about pirates, and the world record just so happened to be broken recently in Brixham, England. Apparently they’re OK with piracy now.
The previous record had been held 1,651 in Portland, Ore., a town actually known for piracy.
Written by Bryan McBournieArrrrr they real, wench?
Posted on March 26, 2010
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Pirates may sail the salty seas, but salt water has no place in the boobs of extras in the next Pirates of the Carribean movie.
Apparently, Disney is looking for “beautiful female fit models. Must be five-foot-seven to five-foot-eight, Size 4 or 6, no bigger or smaller. Age 18-25. Must have a lean dancer body. Must have real breasts. Do not submit if you have implants.” Why sans-surgery? Well, perhaps they are trying to be a little more historically-accurate. Or perhaps Captain Jack Sparrow just likes them natural.
Children can tell the difference, and Disney knows it.
Written by Bryan McBournieYAR!
Posted on November 12, 2009
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We know that they’re talking about Somalian pirates, because if they were from Pittsburgh it just would’ve been a blundering mess.
Written by Bryan SchoolsThe pirate life be a turbulent one
Posted on August 5, 2009
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Yar! It be hard out there for a pirate!
Joining former Grokster exec Wayne Rosso, Pirate Bay’s Peter Sunde is abandoning the BitTorrent site he co-founded.
In a blog post (truly a most demonic contraption attached to a witch’s teet), Sunde stated:
“I have decided to not be the spokes person for The Pirate Bay anymore. The reasons are many but most importantly it takes too much of my time. I want to build something new and I want to focus my energy in a different direction. I have projects waiting to be finished, a book is waiting to be finalized and many more books are waiting to be read.”
Oh sure, ye be ready to have plenty o’ fun, but when the sharks be a-comin’ for ya, you decide to turn tail and escape on the only deck-boat available? You not be a pirate, but a landlubber through and through! In fact, what you should do is take a lesson from Matthew Crippen.
Crippen, a student at California State University, be facing 10 years in prison for modding multiple consoles, not to hide treasure and booty, but to play modded games. At only 27 and a student, the 10 years in prison might be the social equivalent of the hangman’s noose for that lad. Yar! Perhaps he should’ve used a bit less book smarts and bit more sea smarts and modded himself a boat to sail away to Secret Pirate Island!
Sigh. Clearly, there be far too many constabularies after simple privateers such as us.
Written by Chris "Chugs" Taylor2 LEGIT 2 QUIT
Posted on July 1, 2009
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Yar! It be quite a scurvy world out thar, and not everyone be able ta cut it out in the land of serious business, also be known as The Intarnetz.
The latest crew to become permanent landlubbers be The Pirate Bay, the Stockholm-based piracy site that formerly be a peer-to-peer server which made video games, movies and music available for “sharing” among users, but most recently, be raided by Swedish commodores and the ensuing trial against the BitTorrent site’s founder resulted in a guilty verdict. No more though! The Pirate Bay now be owned by Sweden’s Global Gaming Factory X AB for the quaint sum of 7.8 million dollars. That be a lot of wenches and grog!
In a quote from Hans Pandeya, CEO of the buyers:
“We would like to introduce models which entail that content providers and copyright owners get paid for content that is downloaded via the site.”
“In order to live on, The Pirate Bay requires a new business model, which satisfies the requirements and needs of all parties, content providers, broadband operators, end users, and the judiciary. Content creators and providers need to control their content and get paid for it.”
Seems that legal fees be a higher priority than privateering, eh bucko?
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorThat be a lot of booty
Posted on June 2, 2009
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Those pirates be a scurvy bunch. They rape, pillage, plunder and leave the Navy wondering how in the name of Davy Jones’ Locker did $30,000 go missing during a rescue mission in April. If you happen to find the money, look for checks made payable to “YAR!!!!”
Written by Bryan SchoolsThe McBournie Minute: We are not prepared for the ninja threat
Posted on May 4, 2009
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Piracy is something we all live with. We do it every time we download a new song or movie on our favorite Torrent application. Of course, The Pirate Bay got smacked with a conviction in Sweden recently, so they may or may not be out of the picture.
Then there is the rise in piracy off the coast of Somalia. Desperate men and teenagers are taking to the seas to seek fortune, or a sniper’s bullet, depending on how things go. Pirates, thanks to the movies, have enjoyed a pop culture celebration, complete with eye patches and peg legs. But we’re all missing the big issue.
Ninjas are coming. It’s only a matter of time. The resurgence in piracy can only mean that there will be an equal and opposite resurgence in ninjaism. Read more
Written by Bryan McBournieWhat is it, opposite day?
Posted on May 4, 2009
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Yar! Some pirates no longer be on the prowl in their sea-going vessels, and it’s all due to one group.
No, really. Not Russell Crowe, not the crew of Commodre Norrington, not even the ressurected and reanimated abilities of the total naval power of Alexander Spotswood. The French.
What’s the world coming to?
Written by Chris "Chugs" Taylor keep looking »