Category: Pirates

Flog all those who complain

In case ye didn’t hear by now, a college student in Florida was asking Sen. John Kerry a question at a student forum when he was arrested by campus police for goin’ o’er his time limit and refusin’ to put down his microphone.

This blog would like to say it is all for the taserin’ o’ people for whatever reason. But we’d rather he taste the lashes from the cat o’ nine tails. Those who can’t obey orders will be punished and kept from the rum.

Since this is a political story, this would ordinarily be a Scurry to the White House ’04, but today it’s Scurvy to the White House ’04.

If only he had been in a sea-going vessel …

Ahoy! A carnival worker helpfully explained to the local constabulatory that it not be rum nor lollygagglin’ that be leading him to crash his truck into a telephone pole … it be the people having sex in the back seat who made the vehicle all “tippy.” Not everyone be able to score true booty, it would seem, eh lad? It be appearing that this lad be not of the sea dawg variety, as anyone who rides the open waters knows that “tippy” be but par for the course out there.

Halo 3 … for ye swabby!

In a bit of pirate-spirited irony for the stereotype, Bungie be putting out a jimmy hat to commemorate the release of their newst product, which sadly, be not a seagoing vessel, but a little thing called Halo.

Take heed, all: if ye be acquiring the Halo 3 Legendary edition, Halo 3 Game Fuel, Halo Actionclix and already preordered Halo Wars, there be a good chance that ye not be needing this to acquire this as well. If ye have done all of those, there probably not be many chances for you to use this treasure on the booty of a wench. YAR!

Attention citizens o’ Seattle

Aside from the usual warnings of a pirate attack aimed at any coastal town, Seattle has a new activity: ridin’ the SLUT. That’s right, we said SLUT.

Commuters in Seattle have a new line on which to travel: the South Lake Union Trolley. This has lead to T-shirts sellin’ like hotcakes. They sold out the same day they were first sold. This blog be jealous o’ Seattle, after all, what better after a long day at work then a ride on the SLUT?

Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Ahoy there, mateys. Nay, your deadlights don’t deceive you. The Guys will be bringin’ ye the same ol’ SG goodness that ye love so dearly, but we shall be doin’ it whilst talking–er, typing like pirates.

So grab the nearest glass o’ grog and read on!