Even a toddler can quit smoking
Posted on September 2, 2010
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Ardi Rizal, the two-year-old Indonesian boy who won our hearts with his two pack-a-day habit, has quit smoking.
The toddler was sent with his mother to an intensive care specialist for one month. He received psychosocial therapy and was forced to play with less mature-looking peers.
Sure, he’s quit now, but let’s see how he does once he enters kindergarten and the real life stress begins.
Worst. Crime Spree. EVER.
Posted on September 2, 2010
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Four men from New York City have been arrested after going on a video game-stealing rampage along the entire East Coast of the United States. Laaaaaaaame.
Rodney McCreary, Gilberto Matos, Derrella Winfrey and Wilfredo Matos were caught by police when an off-duty cop saw them stuffing video games down their pants at a Toys ‘R Us in Annapolis. The officer followed them to their car, saw the four men leave and then called in some on-duty cops to make the bust. When police searched the men’s car, though, they found a lot more than just a few games from a single Toys ‘R Us.
Instead, they found 219 video games, along with road maps and a long list of Toys ‘R Us stores right down the aforementioned East Coast. Police are now investigating which stores on the maps had already been robbed and which hadn’t, while the four alleged perpetrators have been released on $50,000 bond.
Guys, how about next time, trying for something a little more valuable or worthwhile, okay? Or at least something that won’t make you somebody’s play thing in jail.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorImagine all the droppings
Posted on September 2, 2010
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The world has been offended enough by The Beatles’ crap already, so why should you have to pay more for John Lennon’s crap … er … crapper?
Written by Bryan SchoolsThey have those buttons on planes?
Posted on September 2, 2010
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Flying can be a relaxing experience–provided you hit the airport bar hard enough ahead of time. Aside from that, you’re screwed. Things can always get worse, though.
For example, you can hear an automated message over the intercom informing you that you are about to crash. That’s what the the passengers on a British Airways flight from London to Hong Kong. They were actually doing just fine, the pilot hit the wrong switch. Whoops!
Written by Bryan McBournieLOL, D3FENCE RESTS
Posted on September 1, 2010
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Facebook and the legal system: they’re like oil and water, as the two combined just don’t mix. I know that. You know that. That hobo sitting with a jar full of bum wine knows that.
So why didn’t anyone tell Hadley Jons that?
Jons, a Michigan juror for a resisting arrest trial, decided that her mind was made up regarding the verdict. Unfortunately, the prosecution hadn’t quite finished its case yet. Double unfortunately, she decided to let her Facebook friends (and thereby, everyone on the internet) know exactly what her verdict was. That’s not what we call a smart decision.
The defense attorney subsequently let the judge know about this once the information was revealed. Jons was removed from the case and could potentially face some time in a jail cell (if the defense attorney has anything to say about it). While it’s probably increasingly difficult in this day and age to find an unbiased jury due to how plugged in everyone is, you’re kind of supposed to take the whole justice thing a bit seriously in the first place.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorMillion-dollar head and shoulders
Posted on September 1, 2010
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Football players are tough: they hit you in the mouth, they are supposed to be the most tenacious athletes on the planet, they are so tough–in fact–that they can insure their hair … for $1 million dollars.
Written by Bryan SchoolsThat’s President Oballa to you
Posted on August 31, 2010
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Barack Obama seems to be someone we can clearly look up to (that’s a legitimate reality for me). After all, he’s president of the United States of America, which, mind you, is no small task. Leader of the most powerful country in the free world? Yeah, that’s got some prestige attached to it.
Attendant of Harvard Law School? Fairly select place to get in.
Winner of a Nobel Prize? Hey, they don’t necessarily just go about handing those out to everyone.
But now the man has been awarded potentially the greatest title he’s ever been given in his life. A Serbian festival that celebrates the potatoes of life has given Obama a “big balls award (link might be Not Safe For Work for you).”
President Obama was not present to accept the award, possibly off somewhere doing something extremely arrogant and manly, as his award denotes that he would do.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorThe more things change …
Posted on August 30, 2010
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… the more they stay the same.
Seriously, it’s like people think there aren’t any securities for this sort of thing built into these machines.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorHas America lost its manliness?
Posted on August 30, 2010
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The United States is typically known as a country that is not afraid to whip it out and compare with any other country, but its men might be less manly than they used to be. For example, a recent study found that one in four men–a quarter of the adult dude population–take a stuffed animal with them on a trip.
This basically means that if you head out on a business trip with four of your male coworkers, odds are that one of them will be sleeping with a teddy bear that night. This information is shocking, and it certainly does not help our standing with the rest of the world. The Russians, who have Vladimir Putin and his whale hunting to look up to as an example of machismo, may get this news and see it as a sign of weakness. Before long, they’ll be ready to start up the Cold War again.
Men: Leave the stuffed animals at home, unless you want the Russians to nuke us.
Written by Bryan McBournieBagpipes are totally acceptable
Posted on August 26, 2010
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Pope Benedict XVI is going to the United Kingdom in September, probably to tell everyone that he remembers back when he was a kid and England was still Catholic.
What exactly the pope is doing on his trip is unimportant. What is important is that if you are going to see His Holiness, you cannot bring your vuvuzela with you. It seems, even Jesus doesn’t want to hear those things, especially not during mass.
Also, don’t bring your thousands of angry bees, either. They might get confused for a vuvuzela.
Written by Bryan McBournie keep looking ยป