We’ve all heard about the secret items most fast food chains have. They’re the special sandwiches that are popular enough to have names, but rare enough that they’re not actually on the menu. No one’s really sure why they exist. Next time you go to Wendy’s ask for a weed burger.
Back in May, Okene was serving on a tugboat when the ship was caught in a swell of the Nigerian coast. The ship sat on the bottom, 30 meters below the surface. While his 11 crewmates perished, Okene survived by finding a 4-foot pocket of air and sipping Coca-Cola. (According to most maritime reports, this is the first recorded time that Coca-Cola has sustained life since they removed sweet, nurturing cocaine from their recipe.)
We expect news of Tom Hanks and James Franco’s impending duel to the death to play Okene in the inevitable movie about his life any minute now.
Things have gone south for Huy Fong Foods since we last talked about Sriracha-gate. A California judge, apparently upset at their Srirachadora (and lacking a Godzilla-equivalent to fight it) possibly raining spicy hell upon the citizens of Irwindale, ordered them to halt production on any work that creates the fumes.
Huy Fong Foods will not be intimidated by the orders of judges. As such, they’ve hung up a banner in front of their plant stating “NO TEAR GAS MADE HERE.”
Normally, that may not be enough, but it’s a green banner with a white font, so it’s gotta be true, right guys?
Canada has serious problems. We’re not just talking about the fact that winter is nearly here and it sucks to live there right about now. It’s far, far worse. The northwest part of Calgary may have reached “peak toilet.”
Simply put, only so much can flow through a pipe. When that pipe is located in a sewer, only so much of, well, you can guess, can flow through it. At this point the sewer system in northwest Calgary is taking about as much as it can handle, until a new part of it is completed in 2017. That means a whole lot of new houses, offices, schools and other buildings have to wait to be finished — or they have to build a privy or something.
We’d guess that when an outhouse freezes over, it’s not a pretty sight.
Hey there, people in committed relationships! Isn’t it wonderful to have found someone who finally appreciates you after possibly years of dating people who didn’t know a good thing when they had it?
… Yeah, about that. Research indicates that at least one of you in your relationship would rather settle than die alone – even if your current relationship isn’t that great — and it isn’t necessarily the woman.
‘In our results we see men and women having similar concerns about being single, which lead to similar coping behaviors, contradicting the idea that only women struggle with a fear of being single,’ said co-author Dr. Geoff MacDonald.
But, let’s not get too insulted. After all, you both chose to be disappointed by each other, not left for dead in a motel bathtub full of ice by someone else. See? You have more in common than ever.
As we all have heard on the internet by now, Amazon will soon be employing drones in order to deliver your package to you in the fastest way possible, cutting out the delivery courier business middleman.
The holiday season is officially here, and with it come warm feelings, with a streak of murderous rage. And there was no short of it in the city of brotherly love on Black Friday.
At a Philadelphia mall, police are investigating a stun gun fight between two women. An argument between two couples began with a fight between the male parties, before the ladies got involved, according to police. One of the women just so happened to have stun gun, and used it on her opponent.
Of course, the victorious couple won the crowd’s applause and their pick of items throughout the mall.
Ah, 1998. It was 15 years ago. Everything was much easier back then. Viagra was helping old guys get boners, Cameron Diaz put spunk in her hair for our amusement, and U.S. embassies in Tanzania and Kenya were bombed. It was a simpler time, indeed!
But 15 years later, one symbol of that bygone era is calling it quits. It was announced this week that Winamp, a media player among those who knew better than to use Window Media Player, will cease to be. It was once the program everyone used to play the MP3s they just downloaded from Napster over their modems. Now, it belongs to the ages.
However, another relic from 1998 is still going strong. Yesterday marked the 15th anniversary of the International Space Station. Sure, it’s still being pieced together even now, but we’re sure that it has that cool retro feel. We imagine it runs on Windows 98 and even runs an old version of Winamp, probably rocking hits like “…Baby One More Time,” “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” and “Just the Two of Us” on repeat.
We here at SG, despite being all Caucasian, males in our early 30s, are equal opportunity employers. “Also, like Tim Robbins in “Anchorman,” we dig the lib movement. Which is why we’re not surprised that a recent report revealed that 60% of tech jobs are now going to women. Go ahead and thank “Big Bang Theory.”