Category: Regular Post

| Posted in Regular Post

Florida men rob restaurant in the nude, take no money

Hazing is dumb. That said, the fraternities in South Florida must have legendarily stupid people involved, as only a moron would tell pledges that in order to join their group, they have break into a restaurant and steal simply food … in their underwear. That is, if a pledge is in a member’s good graces. Otherwise, they may have to commit the act in the nude.

After all, that’s the only logical reason for why that very act happened (warning: autoplay).

| Posted in Regular Post

Characteristics of donuts: delicious, not implements for crime

Curiosity: have we been secretly asleep for the past month? That’s the only reason for why there’s been so much crime involving donuts. First, “scientists” decide to give bears donuts and now, true brigands have begun using the delectable breakfast pastry for crimes. Crimes!

That’s right, in the great hippie state of Oregon, a group of knaves have been hitting numerous cars with all manner of donut: maple bar, cinnamon, maybe even a glazed!

If we may address these thugs of food: we understand that using food to commit your vandalism seems like a good idea. It’s difficult to remove and easy to obtain. Nonetheless, we must ask you, please, please spare the donut. If not for me, then for our stomach’s sake.

| Posted in Regular Post

International relations through farts

If you live in France, and if you’re a regular reader of this blog then it’s almost certain you don’t, keep your ears open this evening. There’s a fart heading your way from England.

British inventor and guy with a lot of free time Colin Furze has built valveless jet engine that kind of sounds like a big fart when it gets fired up (the jet, not the fart). Naturally he has also built a butt to put over it. Tomorrow, between 1 p.m. and 2 p.m. Eastern, Furze is going to take his jet fart machine to the cliffs of Dover and see if the French 21 miles away can hear it.

They won’t, of course. But that doesn’t mean their military isn’t on high alert anyway.

| Posted in Regular Post

Gas problems at the burrito factory

Ever get one of those Evol frozen burritos at your grocery store? You’re not the only one with gas problems.

The Evol Foods building in Colorado had to be evacuated because of a gas leak. Surprisingly, though, it wasn’t a high concentration of fart-related gasses like methane that sickened workers, it was carbon monoxide. Authorities believe that the gas was caused by charging batteries, or it came from Larry, who reported the problem, because he who smelt it dealt it.

| Posted in Regular Post

I don’t think that’s how noblesse oblige works

Here’s (apparently) a rich man/poor man situation: peeing in public.

Super duper millionaire Robert Durst is accused of peeing in a Texas CVS. Why would someone with so much money do such a thing? Nobody knows. Perhaps he wanted to flaunt his ability to easily get out of a misdemeanor. Perhaps he really wanted to go. Perhaps he was marking his territory. The most logical scenario is that, as he’s super rich, he was probably in a suit and had his fly down, without him even knowing so.

Hey, he wouldn’t be the only one to accidentally have his fly down when he wears a suit.

| Posted in Regular Post

Dr. King Schultz, much?

Most people tend to dread going to the dentist. With all the pointy needles, shiny lights and insistence on so much flossing, it’s understandable to have some apprehension.

Studio Dental’s probably going to make those fears worse.

A dental office in San Francisco, the company’s now partnered with tech companies in SF to bring a mobile office. And by mobile office, I mean a trailer that comes to your office. Slogging through the day? Why not brighten it up with a speedy trip to the dentist at your office and then be back to your desk to slog through the day?

Because no one wants that.

| Posted in Regular Post

Farm animal sex just the latest weapon in the war against developers

Remember how it felt that in the 80′s and up to the mid 90′s, every other movie had a land developer as the villain. He (and yes, it was a he) may have been trying to get his hands on the land for the purposes of bulldozing it over and building, or perhaps he was trying to build a new community for yuppies. No matter what, a group of spunky kids got together and beat the odds, typically through skilled traps, paint and a competition exploiting a long forgotten law.

Now, in the year 2014, people fighting land developers just use horny farm animals. Because Florida.

Things sure have changed.

| Posted in Regular Post

An epic game of beer pong ensued

Imagine you’re driving down the highway when all of a sudden it starts to hail. But you notice that the hail is bouncing off of your car, rather than smashing into it. Then you realize ping pong balls are falling from the sky.

In Idaho, this adverse weather really happened. On Saturday, revelers at the Blackfoot Pride Days looked to the sky for a plane to drop ping pong balls on them, each redeemable for a prize. However, the pilot missed, and dropped them on a nearby Interstate instead.

Instead, a game of “play in traffic” probably broke out.

| Posted in Regular Post

Four people, one train

Perhaps you’re the type of person that thinks Massachusetts is a state full of cleanliness. Perhaps you have the generalization that Massachusetts is nothing but prim and proper, because of all of those uptight white people. Maybe you even you think that Massachusetts, Boston notwithstanding, is full of people who know what the rules are and aren’t afraid to not break them.

You’d be wrong.

Here’s a life lesson, and though you may be only hearing it for the first time ever, go through life clinging tight to the phrase: nobody wants a person’s luggage on the caboose.