Schadenfreude: International blend
Posted on June 20, 2008
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Good morning! And what a morning it is: the dawning of yet another wonderful day!
Just think of the day you have ahead of you: showering, sitting in traffic, going to work, eating a lousy lunch with people you hate, sitting in more traffic, cooking dinner, cleaning the kitchen — all while trying not to beat your children! Goodness, but these are blessed times, aren’t they?
No, they aren’t. When your only relaxation is going to a gym to work out, you really hate the people that make it look so easy. People like, oh, Martha Stewart …
Well, guess who’s persona non gratis in the United Kingdom? Yep, Martha’s life was easy when she was given insider trading tips, but now she’s not allowed to visit investors and business partners in Merry Olde England.
And that, we think, is a good thing.
Mm, Schadenfreude: make it every morning’s shameful joy.
Written by Rick SneeSchadenfreude: Sometimes it does taste like justice
Posted on May 23, 2008
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Alright, it’s Friday. You think you don’t need a strong pick-me-up to start your favorite weekday. But is it 5 o’clock yet?
Yeah, didn’t think so. You still have to finish up the week’s drudgery while the kids off from school are already “warming up” the pool. (Don’t open your eyes underwater.) And you still need to fudge your time card before you sit in traffic with all of the other TGI-mother-Fers.
What you need is a steamy cup of all-natural Schadenfreude.
Jack Thompson, who you should be familiar with if you’ve ever read this blog or listened to a parent about video games, is in danger of being “found guilty on 27 of 31 counts of misconduct” by the Florida Supreme Court.
That’s right: Mr. Listen-to-me-because-I’m-a-lawyer may be demoted to crazy-angry-guy-on-talk-shows. He won’t be able to legally exploit the families of slain police officers because he can’t figure out the squares and circles on a Playstation controller.
Mm, Schadenfreude: make it every morning’s shameful joy.
Written by Rick SneeSchadenfreude: Feel better about your secret closet kink
Posted on April 22, 2008
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Do like reporting? Enjoy CNN, but just hate some of the dirt-bags that give you the news? While we’re at it, do like enjoy hamsters, candles and guys in leather named Steve? Then take ease, noble citizen, that there are most certainly individuals out there that are way more kinkier than you are!
Better minds than those that belong to The Guys have no doubt been coming up with plenty of fantastic headlines all this past weekend to describe the strange case of CNN reporter Richard Quest, who was arrested in Central Park last week with what law enforcement agents described as “a rope around his neck that was tied to his genitals, and a sex toy in his boot.” Ew.
In the meantime, we’re just gonna take this opportunity to remind you once again that meth is one helluva of a drug, kids.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorSchadenfreude: Feel better about your broken dreams
Posted on April 21, 2008
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It’s Monday! Yay! What better way is there to follow-up a lazy weekend than to go to your dream job and embark on another week of meaningful employment?
What’s that? You hate your job? You didn’t want to be an analyst, but a rock star? Well, things didn’t work out for you, unlike American Idol winners. Don’t you hate how they don’t even need a band, much less a garage and lousy drummer, to become famous?
You know what will make it better? Starting your week with a savory cup of Schadenfreude.
Her successor hasn’t even been named yet, but Jordin Sparks may never sing again, thanks to “an accute vocal chord hemmorage.” Jordans around the world are rejoicing, as is the alcoholic/caffeinated beverage that unwittingly shares her last name.
Mm, Schadenfreude: it may be shameful, but it’s still joy.
Written by Rick SneeStart your morning with a cup of Schadenfreude
Posted on April 10, 2008
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Good morning … or was it? Did you have trouble pulling yourself out of bed to shower a body you hate, go to a job that you never wanted, just so you can send some broken condoms to college in a few years?
You had plans. You were going to be a big deal. An astronaut. A porn star. An astro-porn star-naut. But it didn’t happen.
You know what will make your morning a good one? A steaming hot cup of Schadenfreude.
Remember Rachel Dratch? Yeah, apparently neither did her SNL co-stars. She’ll have her own cup of delicious Schadenfreude soon, though, once Baby Mama tanks at the box office.
Mm, Schadenfreude: make it every morning’s shameful joy.
Written by Rick Snee