Austrian politics aren’t like American politics. They’re just not.
The country’s Socialist party put up garden gnomes that look like they want a fist bump around lamp posts ahead of elections in western Austria. These things also look to me about two and a half feet tall, just to add extra creepiness. And then, someone stole them.
A total of 400 gnomes, valued at $4,000 combined, have been stolen. Either that, or they came to live and walked away.
There’s a whole bunch of elections coming up for Congress this fall, but who cares? Let’s focus on the elections that matter.
There was a time when Times Square was a seedy place, a place you didn’t want to take your children because of unsavory characters. A candidate for the San Francisco board of supervisors worked to bring back those good old days this week. George Davis stripped naked in Times Square, which as far as we know, is not even on the same coast as San Francisco, to make a statement on the right to be nude in public.
The initiative, already active across Twitter, Facebook and YouTube, would look to branch out to other social media where jihadists were active. “What about Ask.fm? What about Instagram? What about Pinterest?”
As has become tradition in red states since the 2008 election, House Speaker John Boehner faces a primary challenge this year from Tea Party candidates. What’s not so traditional is how stiff the competition has become for the top-ranking Republican in the federal government.
J.D. Winteregg, a high school teacher and suprisingly not a children’s book author pen name, is one of Speaker Boehner’s three primary challengers. And of those three, he’s the only one to run an ad that accuses the speaker of “electile dysfunction.”
‘Sometimes, when a politician has been in DC too long, it goes to his head and he just can’t seem to get the job done. Used on a daily basis, Winteregg in Congress will help you every time the moment is right to have your voice heard on the federal level.’
How do you know if you are experiencing E.D.? Symptoms may include “extreme skin discoloration,” smoking, golf, and the “inability to punch oneself out a wet paper bag or maintain a spine in the face of liberal opposition.”
The question remains, however, if Winteregg can keep it up until November. You’ll hear from us first if he doesn’t pull out early.
Rumsfeld has a history of giving everyone what they want, whether it’s permission for soldiers to scrounge for their own vehicle armor or surprising prisoners of war with all the water they can drink in one pour.
Fox News is home to more anger and indignation than one yellow couch can contain, especially for a news channel. And with its early efforts at promoting the Tea Party, including the organization and promotion of several “FNC Tax Day Tea Parties” back in 2009, it’s clearly designed to help you get angry, too.
We guess it makes sense that CPAC, the annual Conservative Political Action Conference, would exclude gay conservative groups like the Log Cabin Republicans and GOProud. It’s easier outlaw or limit homosexual rights based on a child-like understanding of marriage and sex when said people aren’t around to refute it.
If you’re not rooting against Romania in the Winter Olympics already, you will be now. [Note to SeriouslyIntern: Check whether Romania is even competing in the Olympics so we don't look stupid.]
Romanian politician Remus Cernea is drumming up support for giving human rights to dolphins, which are not, in fact, humans. He apparently doesn’t care about being seen as a species traitor and has introduced a bill that would grant the enemy the same rights as we humans, just because they are allegedly intelligent.
Luckily, Cernea hasn’t found much support at tall. [Note to SeriouslyIntern: Come up with funny line tying this all back to vampires.]
Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe may have won in the narrowest, most inauspicious (as evidenced by the number of noses held when casting ballots) gubernatorial election in recent state history. But, damn if he doesn’t have a plan to improve bipartisanship in the state government.
And that plan? The Reagan-O’Neill Strategem: hate each others guts until 5, then come over to the governor’s mansion for some top shelf booze.
“To the discount hooch and Bud Light normally on tap at the mansion, the governor has added top-shelf liquor and microbrews at his own expense,” so that’s an improvement over his predecessor in two ways.
Gov. McAuliffe has dubbed the charm offense “Sixty parties in 60 days!” — the length of Virginia’s legislative session. The governor could not, however, rule out extending the session to include a late night trip to IHOP on Day 61.