After receiving threats of a peaceful counter-protest, the Young Conservatives of Texas, a conservative student group at the University of Texas, has cancelled their “Catch an Illegal Immigrant Game.”
The plan was to send out members wearing a sign that identified them as an “illegal immigrant” and give a $25 gift certificate — but totally not a bounty — to any student who turned them in to their table. The objective was to … teach college students to turn DREAM Act students in to other students? That illegal immigrants something something …
You know what? If you want to exercise your right to free speech to be a dick, at least have the balls to follow through on it, no matter how irrational.
John Rosentangle was 63 when he “died” in August. That didn’t keep him from winning 71% of the vote for King County Water District 54 last week. Meanwhile, in the city of Aberdeen, John Erak, 81, was running for city council when he died of an illness. However, after death, he still campaigned well enough to get 53% of the vote.
After winning the Boston mayoral election, Marty Walsh received two calls: one from the President’s calling service and the next from Vice President Joe Biden himself. The only problem was that both called the wrong Marty Walsh in Boston.
Both had called Marty Walsh, a consultant who managed Ted Kennedy’s 2006 senate reelection campaign, not Marty Walsh, the guy Boston just elected.
We guess it makes sense that the White House is the last office on Earth that still uses the White Pages.
I moved back to Virginia a little over a year ago, thinking I had escaped theocracy by leaving Alabama. To nearly teach me a lesson, Virginian Republicans nominated Commonwealth Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli for governor only to lose to a guy who raises money for politicians. Continue reading →
A new poll from CNN — so, it’s admittedly people who still watch CNN — revealed that 63 percent of Americans want new House Speaker. The current one, Sen. John Boehner (R-Ohio), was elected to his position in 2010 after energized Tea Party voters made Republicans the majority party in the House of Representatives in order to fire then-Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Cali.).
And there’s a pretty solid chance that, no matter who the next speaker is and how he or she performs, they too will eventually have to give up the gavel. Such is the sorry state of democracy: electing one person and then unceremoniously stripping their title away after their term is over and a new one is elected.
The official poll results:
63 percent want Speaker Boehner replaced.
36 percent want Speaker Boehner to stay in his job just to watch him die a little more each day as he balances between pleasing career moderates and enthusiastic hardliners in his party.
1 percent want Speaker Boehner to stop staining their bed sheets orange. And also pick up milk on the way home.
‘Deja Vu understands the need for government works to restore some normalcy to their lives,’ the club said in a statement.
If there are any government workers where normalcy involves the breasts of strippers being shook in their faces, please email SG. We’d love to hear your story. We’d also like to hear from the strippers as well that shake their breasts in the faces of government workers in order to bring back normalcy into their lives.
U.S. politics is in a very strange place these days. If anyone thought back in 2008 that by 2013, drinking water would be a partisan issue, then they are sorcerers who must be burned immediately.
But, that’s where we are now. As first lady, Michelle Obama has taken controversial stands on eating healthy foods, exercising and now — to the dismay of certain conservative commentators who make a living off rage — drinking more water.
Well, that is a bridge too far. The very notion that anyone suggest maybe, occasionally drinking a glass of water just supports socialist programs like Big Water Treatment, eco-terrorists and their clean water campaigns and the leftist glass and Maoist cup industry. (Are we doing this right?)
So, if you really, really hate the Obamas, then here’s how you can stay ahead of their liberal agenda: stop breathing. We have it on good authority that the president and his family just can’t get enough air. In fact, they can’t go an exhale without sucking in more. And if you hold your breath until the 2016 election, then maybe President Obama and his water-pedaling family will finally move out of the White House.
Sen. John McCain expressed profound disappointment in President Barack Obama’s decision to delay plans for missile strikes on Syria. He chided the president for instead opting for a diplomatic solution with the Russians, who will help negotiate the turnover of Syrian President Bashar al-Assad’s chemical weapons stockpile to the U.N.
‘I was very disappointed that the president did not mention the Free Syrian Army and our moral and material assistance, which is required. I think they do feel abandoned,’ the Arizona Republican said.
“And I was only one punch hole away from another free defense contract on my U.S. Foreign Policy in the Middle East card, too,” he added, looking down at his shoes while kicking at an invisible dust mote.
At 77 years old, each failed opportunity to (as McCain put it) “bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb” a desert nation puts that last hole ever more perilously out of reach. The only reason he reportedly still bothers getting out of bed now is his hope that things could always turn uglier in Egypt.
Glenn Beck’s soft, s**ty Web site and Rush Limbaugh each respectively creamed their plus-sized panties over Ashton Kutcher’s acceptance speech at the Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Awards on Sunday. While receiving the award for Ultimate Choice, he explained to the audience of excited preteens and bored, tired parents that, “I believe that opportunity looks a lot like hard work,” and not to bemoan working s**ty jobs because “opportunities look a lot like work.”
Limbaugh dedicated an entire hour of his radio show (brought to you by …?) to the speech, explaining that, while Kutcher is a California Democrat — the most dangerous kind! — these are the kind of statements you won’t hear “from presidential or political leadership” — even though this was the very thesis of Obama’s book, Dreams from my Father, a book that El Rushbo and the like have claimed to read since 2008.
Have you ever wanted to own a table where a nuclear pact between the U.S. and another country was signed? How about the brass toilet paper holder of a head of state? Maybe just some really cool office furniture?
For just a few thousand Australian dollars, which we assume is like $10 U.S., you can have a chair that once supported the asses of President George W. Bush and Russian Prime Minister/President Vladimir Putin, and, if that’s not creepy enough for you, Vice President Dick Cheney sat there, too.