Video games will kill you
Posted on November 4, 2008
Filed Under Scurry '08, Scurry (Politics), Tokyoh-no!, What a Reach! | 1 Comment |
Iowa State University would have you believe that video games aren’t safe.
Iowa State University would like to it known that video games are causing aggressive behavior in children regardless of their cultural surroundings, which is totally not a case of kids being kids.
Iowa State University would like you to think that a new study from their merry halls shows several parallels to a recent Japanese study.
Iowa State University isn’t telling you the whole truth.
Video games will kill you. Video games are nothing but a tool of Al Qaeda. You want proof?
One detainee is said to have been schooled in making detonators out of Sega game cartridges.
That’s some old school destruction, and I’m not talking about the kind found in Gunstar Heroes. Whoever gets the job tonight won’t have to deal with just the fallout of the War in Iraq, Guantanamo Bay and the crash of Wall Street, but also the destructive capabilities of old copies of Mutant League Football.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorThe McBournie Minute: Tomorrow is not the end of annoyance
Posted on November 3, 2008
Filed Under McBournie Minute, Scurry '08 | Leave a Comment |
Here we are at the end of the campaign trail of the 2008 election, or as it is known in the Washington area, the kickoff for 2012. We all know where the candidates stand on the issues, heck, Al Gore emailed my work address this morning to tell me about how important elections are, which is probably caused by global warming. In just over 24 hours, it will all finally be over. No more calls, no more people knocking on your door, no more activists pathetically trying to get you to listen to them as you walk by listening to your iPod.
This is the end of the good times.
In my opinion, this election could not have come at a worse time. We as a nation were finally united and then this thing comes along and splits us all up again. For the past two or three years, we have reached across our own aisles to work together toward a common goal: hating George W. Bush. It took the hard work of a bumbling administration, war, natural disaster, the English language and the hard work of people like Michael Moore and Susan Sarandon, but we got there. Read more
Written by Bryan McBournieThat over-50 fringe voting group
Posted on October 30, 2008
Filed Under Scurry '08 | 1 Comment |
We’ve heard about every small swing-voting group this election:
- The youth vote
- Real Americans
- Women
- Closeted white supremicists
- Terrorists (Who knew suicide bombers want health care?)
There’s one tiny group, though, that has been swept under the carpet, ignored for all intents and purposes … until today.
Yes, now the pundits are focused on what’s good for retired Americans, that plucky little band of people over 50, now including some 76 million baby boomers, who decide every election.
If you thought it was the NASCAR dads or the plumbers that counted the most this election, then the news managed to jerk you off this whole time. It was your grandpa that keeps sending you emails about secret Muslims who mattered. Don’t you feel silly for spam blocking him now?
Fortunately, there’s something you can do: support Proposition 268 or, as we’ve nicknamed it, Logan’s Amendment. Logan’s Amendment will send all of the elderly to a fabulous Carousel for the rest of their natural lives, where they will live in bliss until God calls them home.
Sound harsh? OK, well it’s that our you start calling in some birthday favors.
Written by Rick SneeThem’s be fighting words, mom
Posted on October 27, 2008
Filed Under Scurry '08 | Leave a Comment |
In our increasingly devoted coverage to the ‘08 election, we have found stories of mavericks gettig mad at mavericks, a Sarah Palin fashion show, even Presidential hopeful Barack Obama rejecting a rap by Ludacris. Now the election is hitting home and dividing our families, including the most sacred mother and daughter relationship. But look out mothers, cause daughters become lovers and turn into mothers (that’s enough, John Mayer).
Anywho, look out America. Our government hit your wallet to support million-dollar salaried Wall Street execs, now they’re after your family.
Written by Bryan SchoolsOh, that maverick!
Posted on October 27, 2008
Filed Under Scurry '08, Sex Sells | 19 Comments |
If there’s one thing a maverick can’t stand … it’s a maverick?
As the French say, such is life, in regards to the latest news from the John McCain presidential campaign. McCain aides are growing increasingly frustrated as vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin continues to not use “the remarks [they] sent her on the plane.”
They now have a term for when Sarah’s “just being Sarah:” “going rogue.”
One campaign source–unidentified, of course–painted an even more interesting portrait:
“‘She is a diva. She takes no advice from anyone,’ this McCain adviser said. ‘She does not have any relationships of trust with any of us, her family or anyone else.
‘Also, she is playing for her own future and sees herself as the next leader of the party. Remember: Divas trust only unto themselves, as they see themselves as the beginning and end of all wisdom.’”
Fortunately, we’re not voting for the reckless maverick that speaks off the cuff and rejects party lines for vice president: we’re voting for the straight-talkin’ maverick that scripts talking points for his vice presidential candidate.
(Did your head just explode?)
Written by Rick SneeThe McBournie Minute: Drinking with the candidates
Posted on October 27, 2008
Filed Under Booze News, McBournie Minute, Scurry '08 | 1 Comment |
At this point, the presidential candidates and their vice presidential picks have been covered, analyzed and talked about to death. All that is left are rumors and we can leave those to the rumor mongers. (What is a monger, by the way?)
That being said, I figured out an angle that all of the mainstream media, all of the New Media and bloggers have not yet been able to cover: what are the candidates like when you get a couple drinks in them at the bar. I sat down with each of the candidates over the past week and discussed the issues that matter to Joe Sixpack, like who is going to pay the tab. The Democrats won the coin toss backstage and have elected to go first. Read more
Written by Bryan McBournieVoodoo politics
Posted on October 23, 2008
Filed Under Scurry (Politics) | Leave a Comment |
In America, if we don’t like our politicians, we write songs about or call our favorite national talk radio personalities. It goes without saying that everything in France is just a little different. There, a publishing company has been releasing dolls that look like President Nicolas Sarkozy and includes a voodoo manual.
This has Sarkozy a bit upset. He has threatened to sue the company because apparently over there, famous people still own their likeness, unlike politicians here in the U.S.
The Guys applaud France’s attempts at expression of its disappointment with its leaders. We are glad to see something in between sad films about the pointlessness of life and more than a week’s worth of riots. However, this blog is keeping a wary eye on you, France. We defeated witchdoctors once and we can do it again.
Written by Bryan McBournieFine! Maybe Georgia will have change to spare
Posted on October 22, 2008
Filed Under Scurry '08 | Leave a Comment |
With the economy heading down the tubes and the presidential election less than two weeks away, candidates are more in need of campaign funding but voters are more reluctant to give it to them. This, like so many other once-proud American jobs, the position of campaign financer is being outsourced overseas.
Russia’s envoy to the U.N. received a letter from the campaign of Sen. John McCain on Monday, asking for a donation of anywhere from $35 to $5,000. In the letter, McCain said he would be proud to serve the Russian envoy. Russia turned down the offer to donate. The McCain campaign said it was a mix-up on the mailing list.
The campaign added the slogan “Country First” does not declare which country comes first.
Written by Bryan McBournieThere’s no need to fear, UnderMcCain is here
Posted on October 20, 2008
Filed Under Scurry '08 | 1 Comment |
Apparently John McCain likes being the underdog. He’s fine with being back six percentage points in the latest poll. The self-proclaimed “maverick” (Top Gun should really consider suing) has admitted that he has screwed up previous campaigns when ahead, so being the underdog might give him that extra little push. Ah yes, the rich white guy in the fight of his life, and if he loses … he gets to go back to being a rich, powerful white guy. We’ll just refer to McCain as the “Tampa Bay Rays” of the 2008 election.
Written by Bryan SchoolsObama is British, too???
Posted on October 20, 2008
Filed Under Scurry '08 | 7 Comments |
Just when it seemed like Obama was just about everything (black, white, Hawaiian, secret Muslim, a woman named Frieda), John McCain peels off yet another layer off of this onion of hope: he’s also British.
“He’s always been in the left lane of American politics.”
The left lane, people, like where the British drive.
You know who else was British? Great Britain. And they also liked to raise taxes: on tea, paper and podiatry. Fortunately, one man stood against those foul-toothed masses and shipped their bangers and mash back to Englandville. That man was John McCain.
So, who are you gonna call when Prime Minister Barack Obama taxes your crumpets and gives them to the unwashed poor? John McCain, who also remembers the Alamo.
His plan, of course, is to continue our system of taxing people with little to no money and give it back to the wealthy who were born deserving it. That’s the American Way™!
Written by Rick Snee « go back — keep looking »