Category: Scurry ’07

| Filed under Scurry '07

What’s so bad about Bob?

Poor Bob Allen. While everyone has been obsessing over Sen. Larry Craig’s bathroom stall, nobody noticed that the Florida state representative was found guilty of soliciting sex from an undercover officer. Of course, he’s sticking with the “just hanging out in the bathroom with scary men” story, but why doesn’t he get to be interviewed by Matt Lauer?

Also, when is it a good time to get a new group of attorneys? When your “team of defense attorneys decide not to present any evidence or testimony to the jury. Allen was not put on the witness stand to deny the story told by Titusville police officer Daniel Kavanaugh.” That’s probably a good sign too.

| Filed under Scurry '07

Mayor is tough on crime

Are you bored by politics? Do you feel the urge to not vote in any given election? Then you’re a terrible person, but you’re also nearly two-thirds of Americans. Here’s something to get you excited about politics: Matthew Godfrey, mayor of a town in Utah and full-time oompa loompa, is five-foot-six and weighs 136 lbs.

However, that didn’t stop him from running down and wrestling a man who allegedly broke into his home and stole a bicycle. He kept the man in a headlock until police arrived. Also, he flexed for the crowd and rambled into a microphone about how tough he was.

This is how are politicians should be chosen. We need to revert back to our ancient political roots: whoever beats up the competition is chief. Matt Godfrey, you have this blog’s vote.

| Filed under Scurry '07

Remember when …

… “Made in China” was still better than “Made with pride in the USA?”

Yeah … not so much lately. Let the year of “BUY AMERICAN, NO SERIOUSLY, JUST ACTUALLY TRY IT FOR ONCE” continue!

| Filed under Scurry '07

Nobel Prize Watch, ‘07

How do you render one of the most important international awards irrelevant? Easy: if either of these two hacks win.

Can Al or Rush destroy the integrity of the Nobel Peace Prize? We leave that decision to Norway.