Category: Scurry ’12

Interesting choice of battle there

The Republican Party’s had a rough couple of weeks. They lost the fight over health care reform. They had some trouble outright condemning death threats and failing to distance themselves from racist lunatics. The Pentagon’s trying to make the military more gay-friendly. The President even co-opted their idea to expand oil exploration off the mid-Atlantic coast.

Through all of that, the faithful have remained …

… that is, until LesboStripperGate 2010!

After it was revealed that the Republican National Committee funded a $2000 field trip to see How Lesbians Work, family values “expert” Tony Perkins, Sarah Palin and others have announced that they are boycotting the RNC and encourage others to do the same.

Really? Strippers are the line? They do realize that there is no–none–sex in the champagne room, right?

All the same, we’d like to officially welcome the GOP to the third party ghetto now.

Just don’t ask him to do daytime stump speeches

With the presidential election only two and a half years away (seriously, news networks?), things are getting tense. We know who the Democrats will be running, but who is going to represent the Republicans? Perhaps Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey.

He’s 45, he lives in Florida, he recently joined the GOP after a stint as an independent, and oh yeah, he claims to be a vampire, just ask his 19-year-old fiancee, an Ohio native he met online. His platform: um, he’s apparently a descendant of Vlad the Impaler, was engaged to a 16-year-old Minnesota girl last month, but they now have a restraining order on him, and he also has a bit of history with the law, including the Secret Service are monitoring him.

Key quote: “I haven’t dated a girl older than 19 since 2006,” said the Tampa man as his 19-year-old daughter and his 2-year-old grandson met him at the Greyhound station. “It’s good to be me.”

(Thanks Dave)