Bangkok, it’s the city so nice they named it exactly what it does. But did you know that it’s sinking? Turns out the one thing you know about the city is what’s to blame.
Thai police are cracking down on Bangkok’s world-famous brothels, but not for the underage sex workers and other illicit activities (that’s a separate crackdown). Authorities want the brothels to stop illegally tapping into groundwater, rather than paying for utilities, for use in their “soapy massages” for clients. The draining of these underground aquifers is causing the city to sink, they say.
Once again, the brothel districts in Bangkok are so seedy that not even the water is legal.
I always wondered if women really cared about, you know, size, and it turns out that they totally do! I’m not exactly the biggest guy around, so what do I do now? Paul, but Fierce
Whether it’s a big penis or big set of “projecting lateral tubercles,” the ladies are all about size, Paul. It’s what put the “selective” in “selective breeding,” like picking out the least warty cucumber that can also feed a family of four.
But that doesn’t mean your smaller penis pulls you out of the running.
Now, this blog isn’t one to give a rat’s ass about an otter’s penis, but scientists are worried the same could happen to human male dudes. The theory is that the more chemicals that get into the water and air, the more wildlife consume, and some of those chemicals are affecting their bodies in bad ways. That means the same could happen to us.
For the record, pollution has yet to affect The Guys, since we flush the bad chemicals from our bodies with alcohol.
It used to be all you could get was a double soy latte. Now, the horrors of a double breast smooch mocha cappuccino have been put to rest as brave enforcers of the law have finally arrested individuals serving more than just coffee.
The law enforcement for city of Everett, Washington, used taxpayer dollars to fund a two-month-long sting operation of a bikini barista coffee house.
NASA ground controllers briefly lost contact with astronauts aboard the International Space Station on Tuesday. The sexy pinnacles of American, Russian and Canadian physical and mental prowess were left unattended for three hours due to a computer problem.
Who knows what they were doing up there, all alone, with no supervision, gravity or rules …
We, the people of Earth, welcome the U.S.-Russian-(really?) Canadian blackout super-baby as our new overlord.
(Yes, The Guys are fully aware that all six members of the current ISS crew are men. But, who knows what space radiation does to a man, and have you seen Chris Hadfield’s Swanson of a mustache? Who could quit that?)
This post contains sex and violence, but we know you’re at work, so we will try to keep it as PG as we can, so as to elude your company’s filters.
In Fargo, North Dakota, known as a land of excitement, especially this time of year (yesterday’s high was 0 degrees Fahrenheit), a couple of friends recently went out to a bar and ended up bringing back the same lady. According to police reports, Ashley Hunter, 33, and Orlando DeWitt, 37, proceeded to do the wobbly H with the woman, until Hunter wanted to switch off. DeWitt refused the trade and an argument started.
That’s when Hunter grabbed a 12-inch butcher knife out of the couch (which is the best place to keep them) and stabbed DeWitt in the arm, which really killed the mood, according to police. The woman said the knife was more like 8 inches.
For those who plan to watch the 55th Annual Grammy Awards, but worry about how the artists being honored on it will offend your sensibilities, don’t you fret: CBS has got this s**t covered. And by s**t, we mean “buttock crack” and “female breast nipples.”
The broadcasting company distributed a memo to all invited attendees, advising them to keep their “buttocks and female breasts […] adequately covered.” This is best accomplished by eschewing “thong-type dresses” and outfits with “bare sides or under curvature of the breasts.” (We’re still talking about female breasts, right? Can Diddy still wear a plunging neckline?)
Viewers will have to settle for being offended by whatever the attendees say in acceptance speeches and the lyrics of their songs, instead. You know, because music is terrible now, but god forbid you find something better to watch than an awards show.
Durex, the Pepsi of condoms, has a plan to directly compete with the Trojan Man: by actually delivering prophylactics to your door, not just pretending like in Trojan ads. They’ve launched a delivery service in Dubai, where it’s easy to get laid but hard to buy condoms because of the rest of the United Arab Emirates’ conservative culture.
An app called SOS Condoms transmits your GPS location to the delivery service, which a “discreet and professional delivery team” uses to deliver a dozen condoms between 4 pm and 4 am for $15 anywhere in Dubai. Those who prefer to make love during the day, however, will be punished with babies and VD.
And if you’re jealous of Dubai and their Durex deliveries, nominate your city today to become the next SOS Condom recipients!
If you ever live old enough and can afford to retire, which if you regularly read this blog seems like an unlikely scenario, we recommend retiring in England, where assisted living facilities offer a bit more than their U.S. counterparts.
One such place, which promises a holistic approach to their care, is now hiring strippers and escorts for their residents. This, coupled with all those reports of all the old-people sex going on at retirement homes, makes us think that retirement may finally sound more like college than prison.