I know you didn’t think you’d hear from me again, but …

Posted on October 21, 2008
Filed Under Sex Sells | 2 Comments |

E-cards are a lot like STDs. No one really wants to get one, and usually when someone does, it is because of a lack of planning on someone’s part. Luckily, InSpot.org has combined the two into one thing: the STD e-card.

Now you can tell that random girl or guy you hooked up with at the club that you are either accusing them of giving you something or think you gave it to them. Why an e-card? It’s simple: a phone call is just too personal, and you are more likely to know the e-mail address of someone you hook up with than their phone number (or name). We here at SG believe that this is sad. If you really want to send a card to show you care, send an actual card. That’s how they know it’s from the heart.

Possible e-cards:

Written by Bryan McBournie

Sarah Palin!

Posted on October 17, 2008
Filed Under Scurry '08, Sex Sells | 1 Comment |

Sarah Palin?

Sarah?

Palin?

….

….

…….

Sarah Palin?!

Sarah Palin! SARAH! PALIN! SARAH PALIN!

If one scantily clad Sarah Palin lookalike isn’t enough for you, here’s your chance to meet many, many more: Las Vegas’s Club Paradise is holding an “official” Sarah Palin look alike pageant next week. And by “official” we mean not official or endorsed by Sarah Palin in any way.

Written by Chris "Chugs" Taylor

The best education is counterfeit education

Posted on October 14, 2008
Filed Under Sex Sells, War on Education | Leave a Comment |

Over the years, many tools have been used to educate the masses. Books. Pamphlets. Videos. Mascots. Concerts. Now, we get to add another aspect into such an honored group. A gathering of people in the Ukraine has been passing out fake Euro bills with just the most adorable little prostitutes cleverly hidden in the design, all in the hopes of educating women so that they won’t choose to become that which is on their fake money.

No, really.

Seriously. The unnamed group (though it could be understood if one thought the group in question was the Ukranian government) is attempting to end the illegal tactic of prostitution through the use of illegal counterfeit Euros. Wrap your head around that while realizing that in Europe, apparently, two wrongs do make a right.

Written by Chris "Chugs" Taylor

Good idea, bad idea.

Posted on October 13, 2008
Filed Under Sex Sells | Leave a Comment |

Good idea: Getting it on. Hey, if Volkswagen can have a commercial advertising reverse vasectomies, then a little coitus can’t be too bad, right?

Bad idea: Getting it on in front of a police station.

We know that when you get that feeling, you want that sexual healing, still, remember, people: if you’re going to be getting it on in public, choose your location carefully. Somewhat secluded woods make for a great location, in a parked car outside a police station does not. The more you know, right?

Written by Chris "Chugs" Taylor

Tampa Bay hoo-hoo dilly rays

Posted on October 13, 2008
Filed Under Sex Sells | Leave a Comment |

Some fans wear jerseys to support their favorite team, some don caps, some even go far as to tattoo their love on them. The Tampa Bay Rays though? They want to mock Native American heritage by sporting mohawks, and are encouraging their fans to do the same.

But what about the female fans that can’t exactly pull off the punk rock motif at the business office? Well bandwagoners, local businesses are giving women the rayhawk, down under. When reached for comment, the landing strip said it would be seeking advice from it’s attorney.

Written by Bryan Schools

This is a bust!

Posted on October 10, 2008
Filed Under Sex Sells | 1 Comment |

Angelina Jolie, your public breastfeeding days are over … anytime you want to put those away?

Look, we get it: you love showing off that you’re a mom and people will do anything to see your breasts, like place a baby strategically over a nipple.

But aren’t you sending a dangerous message to the young women of America? They can’t afford safe dependable implants, but there you are on the cover of W, breastfeeding with bigger boobies that are courtesy of getting pregnant.

Teen girls are smart. They know that the condom doesn’t work if you poke holes in it. Before you know it, the whole countryside will be teen pregnant, all for bigger milk jugs.

We hope you’re happy, Ms. Jolie. And by that statement, we totally hope you’re not happy. (It’s Opposite Day. Or is it not Opposite Day???)

Written by Rick Snee

Swedish doctor to be fired over opening mouth and saying “ahhhh”

Posted on October 9, 2008
Filed Under Sex Sells | Leave a Comment |

Oh, Internet. How we love thee. We give you our slack-jawed attention and you use give us the warm and radioactive heat that we so desperately crave. So, what have you given us other than that today? What’s that? Another sex scandal? Why it wouldn’t be a day at SeriouslyGuys without a sex scandal, after all!

So, the four of us at SG went to college together, and while our school did not have a medical school (heck, I’ve got family members that nearly blew up the science building), we thought they would have taught this in medical school, but I suppose bears repeating nonetheless—just because a patient gets a ha thoroughly enjoys someone during an examination, that doesn’t mean the doctor is allowed to give him a b settle the matter personally. Even in Sweden. Heck, you probably shouldn’t even be giving prostate exams until at least the third date! I mean, do you want the AMA to be spreading rumors about you?

Written by Chris "Chugs" Taylor

An unholy foursome no more

Posted on October 9, 2008
Filed Under Sex Sells | 1 Comment |

Everyone feel bad for Hugh Hefner this morning. It was announced that girlfriend and Girl Next Door Holly Madison has called for an end to the relationship. That means Heff is now down to only two girlfriends. It remains to be seen if Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt will be able to cheer him up.

Yes, there will still be another season of The Girls Next Door, but for right now, Hefner is a sad man, with nothing but his wealth, status and plethora of women young enough to be his granddaughters left. Certainly, the outlook for Heff’s life is bad.

But because The Guys care about the elderly, we came up with a short list of ways he can get over the breakup:

Written by Bryan McBournie

Solution solved. Now for the homework!

Posted on October 8, 2008
Filed Under Sex Sells | Leave a Comment |

Problems in Richmond aren’t just found in Virginia–sometimes they’re found in other Richmonds. A Richmond County school in Georgia has finally figured out a solution to the problem of teachers having sex with students—they’ve started having sex with each other. Which they can, since they are consenting adults, after all.

On school grounds.

While class is in session.

Oh. Well. Hmmmm ….

See, problem solved! Or, you know, maybe not. And people, like me, say that math is hard.

Written by Chris "Chugs" Taylor

Bound together by the ropes of justice

Posted on October 7, 2008
Filed Under Scurry (Politics), Sex Sells | Leave a Comment |

The economy sucks. Obviously, this is not new to any of you. In fact, the economy is so bad that not even sex is selling. Yes, that’s right, the old tried and true tactic of American Apparel, Abercrombie and Fitch, Victoria’s Secret and Bea Arthur just doesn’t have the same effect as it used to-and that’s being felt everywhere. Work just doesn’t pay-this includes “pleasure entrepreneurs“. Tired of prostitution busts and police harassment that is driving customers away, New York City’s dominatrices are forming a political action committee in order to lobby for their rights. If that doesn’t work, well … let’s just say they have ways of getting what they want.

Written by Chris "Chugs" Taylor
« go back — keep looking »


Advertisement