Take a look at yourself. You’re not getting any younger. From this point on, this is most likely the best you will look for the rest of your life, and it’s the same tomorrow and the day after, just with incrementally diminishing results.
In short, with each and every passing day, fewer people want to have sex with you. Yep, the sex train has left the station, and you’re sitting with your bags in Hoboken.
Men and rats have more in common than we would like to admit. For example, both like it when females wear lingerie.
Scientists, whom we’re just guessing are male, sought to investigate why men like it when women wear lingerie. Logically, they decided to put a lady rat in a little rat vest, then put her in a cage with a male rat for some mating. They found that the male learned to associate the female rat wearing the vest with mating.
That might mean that men have grown to like lingerie because they know they’re getting some when they see their women wearing it. Not because the ladies look good.
We may think of animals that live in the Antarctic as cute, and because they live so far away from us, we may not consider them a threat. We should. Turns out they’re trying to create a master race of seal-penguins.
Researchers observing Antarctic wildlife reported and recorded numerous instances of fur seals chasing down and copulating with king penguins, and the flightless birds did not seem to consent, either. This has to stop. They are attempting to create a new weapon against us, and besides, we shouldn’t condone sexual harassment in any form.
Taking a break from their perpetual contact high, Dutch scientists examined kissing. And they found that your average 10-second Freedom Kiss can transfer up to 80 million bacteria between participants.
To figure out what transfers most readily from tongue-to-tongue contact, the scientists had one participant from each pair drink a probiotic drink. And, based on the results, they hope to one day use this research to help “design future bacterial therapies and help people with troublesome bacterial problems.”
So, if you don’t like yogurt, you could always try making out with Jamie Lee Curtis.*
Everyone wishes they had more vacation time (except for Americans, who don’t use a great deal of theirs), but some of them want it so much that they would give up on the things that make vacations so much fun.
According to a not-very-scientific survey, nearly a quarter of workers would go without sex for just one more day of vacation. That’s just crazy talk, the internet is proof of that. Meanwhile 54% said they could go without junk food, showing once again that no Americans participated in the survey. When it comes to booze, a whopping 48% said they would be OK without it, as long as they got 24 more hours of being paid not to work.
Two separate studies found that herpes may cause 40 to 50 percent of Alzheimer’s cases, although that could be because the people getting herpes already for got to wear a condom or not kiss people whose lips look like Krakatoa.
Just when you thought the Scottish couldn’t get any smugger (yet manage to stay British), get ready for the mother of all come-ons: the Scots invented sex.
Scientists discovered the oldest species to fertilize each other internally: a species of ancient Scottish lake fish. About 385 million years ago, Microbrachius dicki (yes, dicki) got tired of the old you-lay-’em-and-I’ll-spray-’em spawning technique in favor of a bit of the old in-out, in-out copulation.
Rather than do it people- or drunk people-style — you may call it “doggie” — the male and female fish swam up to each other side by side. And that’s where the magic happened, sidehatch-style: Continue reading →
A new law that would change the standard of consent for sex in California colleges to actual consent has active and potential date rapists confused.
The new law would change the rote standard of “no means no” to “yes means yes.” This means that, rather than putting the burden on sexual assault victims to say no, it would require those wanting sex to make damn well sure that the person whom they are entering is OK with that.
However, that’s still too complicated of a message.
‘I feel like their hearts are in the right place, but the implementation is a little too excessive,’ Henry Mu, a 24-year-old biology major at California State Long Beach told the Press-Telegram. ‘Are there guidelines? Are we supposed to check every five minutes?‘
‘How does a person prove they receive consent shy of having it videotaped[?]‘ Joe Cohn, the legislative policy director at the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education, told Inside Higher Ed.
Yeah, what’s a guy to do? Talk to the person he’s about to risk pregnancy or a contracting a sexually transmitted disease from? If date rapists could talk to women as people, they wouldn’t have to rape their dates.
Cold calls are dreadful. People hate getting them, and the people making the calls don’t like it that much either, but it drums up business. So it works for the most part, provided that you’re not doing anything illegal, and you don’t say, call a cop.
A Maryland woman learned that lesson this week. Police say a member of Frederick Police Department’s Drug Enforcement Unit received a call from the 44-year-old woman offering money for sex. She didn’t dial a random number, she had the officer’s number from an unrelated incident, and apparently forgot to write down “Cop” next to it.
And of course, when the woman arrived at the agreed upon place, the authorities were waiting. This is exactly what the Do Not Call List is for, people.
Again, people, we completely understand that making an honest dollar is difficult. If you’re self-employed or a small business owner, you’re already at a disadvantage. Professional marketing is not cheap, which can be a striking blow as you’re trying to keep your overheads costs low. How else can you maximize your profitability?