The Wide World of More Than Just Sports

Despite all the handwriting and dire warnings, fornication trafficking did not rise in Germany during last year’s World Cup tournament, proving once and for all that soccer is the only thing in the world more important than copulation.

Remember, if scientists were involved, it has to be true.

What’s that you say? Science isn’t right all the time? Poppycock! Those were simply aberrations done by….the scientists’ roadies. Yes, that will do nicely.

Uniting in spirit and body

Sex workers Employees in touch with their inner beauty in India get into the whole May Day spirit, and take on the capitalist swine that treat them like chattel. See, all Marxists aren’t so bad. Well, OK, just that one Communist guy that Elaine dated on that one episode of “Seinfeld.” But that’s it.

A new way to fight our heroes

Here at SeriouslyGuys, it’s no secret that we worship pirates. Pirates are cool. Pirates are awesome. They take all the booty that they want and pillage whenever and wherever. We thank all of creation for pirates and wish nothing but chaos upon their enemies.

However, as guys, we never thought that the porn industry would be our enemies too. How can the porn industry combat piracy? Turn everything into a live broadcast. Remember guys, no do-overs. Tis a sad day for all, indeed.

Wait, what do you mean “different pirates?” Oh, well, that is different. No dark days at all!

Kinda puts that “booty” bit in a different light though.

Memories, all alone in the smoke clouds

The last remaining building of the old Mustang Ranch–Nevada’s first legal brothel–was burned to the ground (on purpose, by firefighters). Just so it’s known though, any other burning sensations you feel are your own problem.

Key quote: The day of the $20 roll in the hay in a trailer is gone.”

It’s true. It’s now $50 for a roll in the hay and $75 for a romp in the alfalfa silo.