Category: The McBournie Minute

| Filed under The McBournie Minute

The McBournie Minute: Neil deGrasse Tyson sucks at movie reviews

For a long time, science wasn’t really cool. Now it’s all over your Facebook news feed, right up there with baby pictures posted by some girl you talked to at a party once in college. There’s a cultural movement in the country encouraging scientific literacy, which is a good thing. Every movement needs a face, and for this one it’s astrophysicist and cosmologist Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Even if you don’t know him by name, you recognize his face. He’s been everywhere in recent years, most recently, he hosted the reboot of Cosmos. He’s a smart man, he’s got personality, and most importantly, he’s really good at explaining complicated scientific theories and principles to the masses. He’s knowledgeable and likeable, and he does important work.

So why the hell is he talking about movies? Continue reading

| Filed under The McBournie Minute

The McBournie Minute: How not to suck at beer, running

I run. There, I said it. I don’t marathons or anything, and I try not to brag about my accomplishments. Let’s face it, we’ve all seen one of those “26.2” stickers on a car and given serious thought to plowing into the back of them. I don’t even close to that far on my best day, so I figure I should just keep it to myself.

I was amazed when I first started at how strong a connection there is between the world of beer and running. For example, there’s a thing called the beer mile. A lot of people out there who are otherwise active and healthy people really seem to enjoy getting plastered at the end of a race. Runners will say that they are really into beer because it’s got all the nutrients you need after a long run, but really, it’s because they spend so much on beer that running is the only sport they can afford. I have run in a race almost entirely because there was free beer at the end of it. It was my first race ever.

But there’s more of a connection between beer and running than just working hard and playing hard, they also both encourage judging hard. Here’s how to not do that. Continue reading

| Filed under The McBournie Minute

The McBournie Minute: Who’s ready for some ballot issues?

If you live in America, and if you’re not getting bombed right now, there’s a good chance you do, tomorrow’s a big day. Not only is it Taco Tuesday, it’s also mid-term election day. That means you get to go to the polls, wait in line, then check off the name of the person whose crazy ads offended you the least–if you feel like going at all.

But honestly, choosing our leaders isn’t as important as the ballot issues that are coming up. These things rarely have the kind of publicity as the people crazy enough to want to hold elected office. Plus, ballot issues don’t have egos they need stroked by public approval every few years. The only time you hear about ballot issues is when some faith group gets involved (read: anything related to abortion or marriage equality).

So to make sure you’re prepared tomorrow, here’s a quick overview of the ballot measures you may see tomorrow, and how to vote on them. Continue reading

| Filed under The McBournie Minute

The McBournie Minute: Halloween costume don’ts

Halloween is here, and the good news is that it’s on a Friday this time around. That means that you can go out in public wearing your costume on your way to a party and not get any more looks from strangers than usual. The bad news is that it’s on a Friday this time around. That means you have to rush home from work (this assumes you have a job), eat, then don your costume and hope to make it to your festivities on time. Basically, you’re not going to have much time for a super-involved getup.

In a situation like that, you pretty much have to half-ass a costume. You’re just not going to have time to get into really complicated costume and get your makeup on and everything. This is how a woman feels every day, the difference is you don’t have to shave your legs, too.

When you’re rushing, it’s easy to make some bad choices for costumes. Luckily, I’m here to help. Continue reading

| Filed under The McBournie Minute

The McBournie Minute: Pumpkins bring out the worst in white people

Folks, it’s time for the white community to do some soul searching. I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about: the Keene Pumpkin Festival in New Hampshire. This past weekend was a terrible one for residents there, as college kids used the event to party and then riot for no reason other than there is nothing else to do in Keene, N.H.

Beers were drank, bottles were thrown, cars were flipped, bros were arrested and riot gear was dawned. An estimated 30 people were injured in the weekend-long riot at what was supposed to be a peaceful and family-friendly gathering of the mostly white population of Keene.

It’s safe to say that white people have finally taken the pumpkin spice trend too far. Continue reading

| Filed under The McBournie Minute

The McBournie Minute: In defense of Christopher Columbus

This is one of those weird holidays. Some people have it off, some don’t. Some people think it’s a terrible day to celebrate, some don’t. I believe Christopher Columbus was the original American. Here’s why. (Originally published Oct. 8, 2012)

Years ago, Columbus Day was a major holiday for the Italian community. Think St. Patrick’s Day, but with less puke, more mustaches and the same amount of Catholics. It’s probably still celebrated that way in some areas of the U.S., but it’s just not the big deal it once was, in part because we figured out that Columbus wasn’t the first European to find the New World, that honor belongs to the Vikings, most likely.

It’s a strange quasi-holiday. Some people have it off, most people don’t, and no one is sure how to celebrate it. I never had it off as a kid, but I heard tell of a time, also known as When My Parents Were Kids, when Columbus Day meant a long weekend, even for students. Since then, a lot of people have said, “Hey, this Columbus guy didn’t really ‘discover’ America, because there were civilizations living here long before he showed up.”

Well, hippies, here’s why it’s an important holiday, particularly in the U.S. Continue reading

| Filed under The McBournie Minute

The McBournie Minute: White House intruders you’ve never heard of

The hot new trend in Washington, D.C. is to hop the White House fence. It’s the federal equivalent of running on to the field during a baseball game, except the security is in better shape and more heavily armed. But lately those in charge of keeping the presidential mansion safe have gotten heat for some big failures.

Most notably was Omar Gonzalez, a mentally ill veteran, who got into the White House and sprinted into the East Room, before an off-duty Secret Service agent tackled him. A guy wearing a Pokemon hat hopped the fence a week earlier. And in June, a toddler squeezed through the fence and wandered around before she was wrangled in.

But there have been even crazier breaches of White House security that have happened in recent decades. We’ve just forgotten about them. Continue reading

| Filed under The McBournie Minute

The McBournie Minute: 4 ways beer is good for you

Wine kind of sucks. It’s the only type of alcohol that comes in a big bottle and goes bad if you don’t drink it all. It also makes you look like you have lipstick on. No one has ever talked about a bottle of wine and not sounded like a douche. You don’t go out to a bar after work and order a glass of red. Basically, unless you don’t like beer for some reason (don’t trust these people), over 40, or happen to be in Europe, there’s no good reason to drink wine.

You wouldn’t know that if you looked at modern science. It seems like every other week there’s a new story talking about how wine makes you stronger or thinner or some other random health benefit. These drunken scientists in their cabernet-stained lab coats like to tell us all how great wine is, but they forget their own bias. They’re so focused on wine that they forgot to test other, more delicious types of alcohol.

Namely, beer. Continue reading

| Filed under The McBournie Minute

The McBournie Minute: You’re voting for jerks

America is a big country. We’re spread across the entire width of a continent. We live in different areas, we have different jobs, we eat different foods and we have different priorities. We’re pretty diverse, when it comes down to it.

But we’re all Americans, and we all believe that means something. That’s why we care so much about the state of our country. We believe we each know what is best for the entire nation, and we seek to put people in federal office that will shape the U.S. the way we want it to be shaped. It’s just frustrating that the people everyone else votes for are assholes.

Our mutual hatred of the people we elect may be the only thing that keeps Americans together, if you believe a new study. Continue reading

| Filed under The McBournie Minute

The McBournie Minute: Old man Gene Simmons complains about music these days

Everyone’s rightfully admonishing Ray Rice, the Baltimore Ravens and the NFL since the new video leaked. I don’t have anything new to add to that. If you weren’t outraged when the news broke in March, or when the first video leaked days later, or when the NFL gave him just a two-game suspension, or all of the victim-blaming in major sports media, if it took today’s video to finally spark your rage, there are many other outlets you can turn to today.

Here, we’re going to talk about another, if less significant happening. Gene Simmons is known as the outspoken bassist from Kiss, one of those 70s bands that people just can’t seem to get over. You know him because he’s everywhere. If you have a microphone, he’ll stop by and say a few words about himself. In an Esquire interview published last week, Simmons said that rock ‘n roll is dead.

Dr. Love has pronounced it dead, so pack it up, everyone. Continue reading