The McBournie Minute: Why are our Secret Service agents so thirsty?

It’s not easy guarding the president, we know this thanks to all sorts of movies and television shows that tell us so. Day-in, day-out, you’re risking your life to protect the leader of the free world, and if you mess up this job even once, the whole country will remember that day forever. It will likely consume you. So you do your best every day to keep the president safe–that’s stressful.

But what’s even more stressful is being a part of the Secret Service advance team, which goes into a city and plans out the routes, hotel rooms and all other logistics and security measures necessary to keep POTUS safe yet accessible. It probably involves several hours a day of going to meetings and visiting places where the president wants to go a few weeks later. Then, they probably have to sit in front of a computer for a while ironing out a plan. Stressful stuff.

That’s why these guys party so hard. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Why are our Secret Service agents so thirsty?

The McBournie Minute: In defense of Christopher Columbus

Years ago, Columbus Day was a major holiday for the Italian community. Think St. Patrick’s Day, but with less puke, more mustaches and the same amount of Catholics. It’s probably still celebrated that way in some areas of the U.S., but it’s just not the big deal it once was, in part because we figured out that Columbus wasn’t the first European to find the New World, that honor belongs to the Vikings, most likely.

It’s a strange quasi-holiday. Some people have it off, most people don’t, and no one is sure how to celebrate it. I never had it off as a kid, but I heard tell of a time, also known as When My Parents Were Kids, when Columbus Day meant a long weekend, even for students. Since then, a lot of people have said, “Hey, this Columbus guy didn’t really ‘discover’ America, because there were civilizations living here long before he showed up.”

Well, hippies, here’s why it’s an important holiday, particularly in the U.S. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: In defense of Christopher Columbus

The McBournie Minute: Food fights, the biggest threat to our youth

I want to start off by saying that I don’t support violence in any way, unless it involves the military or simply my own entertainment, such as TV, movies, video games and sports. The random, real-life stuff, like shootings and riots are never good, and I will never encourage them. OK, maybe bar fights are fun to watch. That said, let’s tackle a very important topic: violence in our schools.

It seems there is nothing but chaos in Arizona lately. They have laws being struck down by the U.S. Supreme Court, there’s violence in the streets, and the Cardinals are 4-0. There’s an uneasy feeling everywhere, and the entire state feels like it’s going to erupt at any moment, but that’s mostly because of the heat.

So it seems fitting that Arizona was the scene of school violence that could have turned worse, had it not been for a quick-thinking teacher. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Food fights, the biggest threat to our youth

The McBournie Minute: 21st century meltdown

This past weekend was a pretty big one for entertainment. We had the Emmys and all the hype that goes along with them, plus, some fun news out of Las Vegas and the iHeartRadio music festival. I can tell you right now I didn’t watch either event. First, I wasn’t in Las Vegas, so I didn’t see the show, secondly, award shows are incredibly boring, thirdly, there was football and Boardwalk Empire.

Yet, even though I didn’t witness these things, that hasn’t kept me from having an opinion on them. After all, what is better for getting filled-in on what you missed than countless news articles and a YouTube video or two?

First off, I’d like to thank Green Day for doing something very punk rock, followed by something un-punk rock. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: 21st century meltdown

The McBournie Minute: The cure for political fever

For months, a epidemic has been sweeping across the country. It’s all you see on television, it’s all you read about online. It’s everywhere you go, and some people have it worse than others. What is this terrible disease? Electionitis.

Chances are you know someone with electionitis. It affects men and women of all ages and races, but luckily, it’s been held within U.S. borders. The stricken are easily identified by wearing T-shirts or pins supporting their favorite candidate, even their cars are decked out in the logos of their campaign of choice. Those who have the worst cases seem to be able to steer every conversation into What’s Wrong With America These Days, a leading cause of electionitis.

Let’s walk through some of the basic facts about this illness, to make sure you and your loved ones avoid infection. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: The cure for political fever

The McBournie Minute: That’s enough, Green Day

Every band in existence has said in their early stages that they are in it for the music. Maybe they say it’s for the chicks or the drugs, but they don’t say it’s for the money. And at least some of them are lying. They may not intend to do it for the money at first, but they all need to eat, and instruments don’t pay for themselves. At some point, every artist is a sellout.

And yet there’s something that separates artists from the average Joe or even the management they work for: the musician does it because it’s his or her passion, and he or she takes pride in the quality of the craft. It’s in their DNA to do this, and the benefits like a paycheck? Well, those can be necessary, but not necessarily the reason the artist puts pen to paper in the first place.

So what about Green Day’s new Angry Birds Facebook app is about the music? Continue reading The McBournie Minute: That’s enough, Green Day

The McBournie Minute: Search-and-destroy on Mars

If you were up at 1 a.m. Eastern time watching the Mars Curiosity rover land, you’re a nerd. Also, you’re being spoon-fed lies from NASA, but that’s been true for decades. Let’s not forget that this is the same alleged government agency that claimed in landed on the Moon, and yet it has not brought back a single piece of moon cheese. Why? The moon landing was faked.

I’m not saying that Curiosity didn’t land on Mars. It did. But NASA keeps insisting that it sent the rover to scour the Martian landscape collecting soil samples and searching for the building blocks of life. This is no mission of peace. This is a search-and-destroy mission, why else would NASA allow the rover to be operated by a dude with a mohawk?

In short, Curiosity is preemptive strike weapon wrapped in sheep’s clothing. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Search-and-destroy on Mars

The McBournie Minute: Why did it have to be snakes?

If you’re reading this, there’s a decent chance that you are indoors. And that’s a good thing, because it’s a lot harder to die that way (assuming the building is up to code, of course.) It’s easy for us to forget how dangerous the great outdoors can be. I’m guilty of that.

This past weekend I went camping. It’s something that pretty much everyone has done in their lives, so it seems simple and safe, when in reality, there are things everywhere that can kill you. I was reminded of this when on a hike I came across a rattlesnake, you know, the kind that have venom and teeth and such. One of these guys, actually. It was on a narrow part of the trail, so the options for escape weren’t very numerous.

At that point I realized that survival in the wild may be tougher than I thought. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Why did it have to be snakes?

The McBournie Minute: Rise of the jellyrat

Attention young millionaires: You think you have it all, or at least have it ordered online for you. You’re wrong. There’s more out there for you to acquire. Science has created something that will surely outdo all of your other rich friends. Here’s a hint: it used to be a rat.

Still stumped, huh? Here’s another hint: it swims. Still nothing? OK, I’ll tell you. It’s a jellyfish made from the cells of a rat, and it’s exactly the kind of a pet you need. It’s technically not a jellyfish, it’s an artificial jellyfish, made from silicone and the muscle cells of a rat’s heart by researchers at Harvard University.

Yes, we’re now using animals to make other animals. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Rise of the jellyrat

The McBournie Minute: Like if you agree

I remember when I got my first email address. I was on my dad’s company laptop, and I needed to register for something, so I asked if I could create my own Hotmail email account, completely free. I was probably about 12 at the time. Back in the 1990s, email was the main reason we cared about Internet access. It was our means of contacting others and sharing things like news stories and funny pictures.

Then the older generation got in on it. Parents took over the sending of email chain letters, funny pictures and forwarded jokes and political statements. It really killed the fun of email, and social media came in to fill the gap. If you wanted to tell your friends about your day,  you posted to your blog, rather than send a mass email. Share thoughts about others? Post on their wall. Vacation pictures? Upload the files.

Then social media, especially Facebook, allowed the sharing feature where you simply re-post the work of others. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Like if you agree