Teaching is hard work. Just ask any teacher, they will be happy to tell you about how underappreciated they are, and why they should be making more money. These people really enjoy their lives. And it’s because teaching is so hard that they should be able to drink on the job. But we don’t live in a just world.
Now, the spoilsports will point to the fact that the substitute teacher drank so much that she was throwing up, and had to be removed from class in a wheelchair because she was unable to walk, but we would argue otherwise. What better way to keep the youth of America from drinking than by getting wasted in front of them and puking in class. If teachers aren’t cool, then everything they do isn’t cool, including getting blitzed.
Canada is our neighbor to the north, if you believe what the dishonest media says. And it’s no secret that the Canadian education system beats ours in a lot of different ways. They even teach their kids to learn a trade by giving them instructions for cooking drugs.
In Ontario, a teacher has found herself suspended after she assigned homework that included instructions on how to cook and inject crystal meth. The drama teacher reportedly printed out instructions, which included ingredients, for meth, so that her students could create a skit about it.
There have been no reports as to how good the recipe is.
It’s been a while since we had something in this category. Any teacher will tell you–whether you ask them or not–how tough their job is. They have to deal with children, and they have to resist the urge to put their hands on the teenagers they find themselves attracted to. Alabama wants to help.
The state legislature is considering a bill that would require teachers to, and this is true, take a training course on how to not have sex with students. They’re doing this because teachers in the state are having trouble keeping it in their pants. Just this month, there have been five arrests related to high school teachers getting it on with underage students.
It’s not easy to reach children these days. They’re little assholes, and they think they know everything, and the education system fails to help. And that means it’s tough being a teacher. That’s why it’s important to shock the kids.
A Las Vegas woman has jumped into the spotlight because tourists are dumb. The owner of Isis Artistry, a makeup store, shares a name in common with the Islamic group. Because the memory of dumb people has only a four month capacity, people assume that the Isis in Isis Artistry is the same as ISIS.
It’s been a while since we’ve warned you about the dangers of education, but here’s a solid an example of why education should be abolished.
In California, three 17-year-olds were out driving around on a Saturday night when they saw one of their teachers standing on the side of the road. The teacher, John Edward Maust, 34, appeared to the students to be a bit tipsy. He asked for a ride. And at some point during the trip, he pulled a knife on his students and demanded they take him to a Jack-in-the-Box, according to police. Authorities say he fled the vehicle after one of the students dialed 911 and the teacher saw a police helicopter overhead.
It seems that America has finally gotten serious about educating its youth. It’s cheap, it’s viral and it’s something kids actually want to do. As if on cue, educators have a problem with it.
It’s called the eraser game, and unlike other viral games these days, it doesn’t involve eating or drinking anything. All you have to do is rub an eraser on your skin while reciting the alphabet. When finished proving that he or she knows their ABCs, the student then shows the reddened skin, which sometimes bleeds.
This is proof that education, like the most visible scars on our bodies, is often self-inflicted.
If you’re an avid reader of the comment sections on news stories, or just listen to AM radio, you know very well that the U.S. is going downhill fast, and it’s all thanks to the creeping socialism-fascism model that the so-called Democratic party has been implementing for the past four years. It’s getting to the point where moms are required to get pat-downs when they show up for parent-teacher conferences.
A Florida mom went to her child’s middle school for a meeting, and like any good parent, brought along a concealed firearm. A teacher alerted the school resource officer, and she was able to produce a concealed carry permit. Only thing is, apparently in the People’s Communist Republic of Florida, it’s not legal to carry a concealed weapon on school grounds, permit or no. Then, during a search of her purse, the officer found a stun gun, a baggie of white powder and a painkiller, as is her constitutional right.
To be fair, the teacher she was supposed to meet probably had way more drugs and weapons.
Police shut down the Dover, Delaware chapter of Toddler Fight Club on Monday, arresting three “day care” workers for a video that shows them encouraging two toddlers to fight. While the first two rules are clear, the third rule of the aptly named Hands of Our Future Daycare is that there’s “no pinching, only punching.”
Upon graduation from TFC or death, every toddler is renamed Robert Paulsen.
High school is a rough time for most people. Unless you’re slutty or reasonably athletic, you’re just trying to get through the day and avoid any notice from your fellow students. One dad in Utah decided that being a sophomore in high school (in Utah, too) wasn’t hard enough.