It should go without saying that this is a bad time of year to be outdoors, but consider this a reminder that you’re never safe from animals, even as winter creeps closer.
A woman in Virgina thought she was safe while jogging at night, when suddenly, a deer fell on her. Apparently, the deer was struck by a car, went airborne, then came down on the path beside the road, and the jogger.
Both the driver and the jogger were taken to the hospital, the flying deer escaped authorities.
Citizens are upset by the actions of President Barack Obama, and they are making their grievances known. In a petition, the people are making their stance clear: Caramel the turkey must die.
This fall, the White House set up an online vote for either Popcorn or Caramel this year’s official Thanksgiving turkey. Popcorn won the vote, but both turkeys were given a pardon by Obama. The Internet believed that the winner of the contest would be saved, and the loser would end up on a plate. Since that didn’t happen, nearly 100,000 people have signed a petition demanding that Caramel be executed.
Justice must be served. Preferably with a side of mashed potatoes and candied yams.
Let us repeat that in the appropriate tone: Crocodiles and alligators have joined the tool users club.
Researchers observed crocodiles and alligators (so here, too, not just Australia and Africa) placing sticks over their snouts as lures for birds. Once any birds perch, then the croc does the equivalent of flipping a quarter from your elbow to your hand, snapping up bird and stick whole.
As our own developmental history indicates, once a species learns to use tools, they step onto an exponentially accelerated fast track to iPods and nuclear weapons. And that it’s reptiles this time instead of ants or crows is, frankly, terrifying.
And the worst part? We already lost our species’ greatest hope in defeating them … to a stingray.
Another possible reason to stay out of the Midwest: pig farms are blowing up, and no one’s really sure why.
In recent years, hog farms have been exploding, and it’s related to foamy manure. Farmers started noticing that their hogs’ poop had a great deal of foam on it. Turns out, the foam contains methane and hydrogen sulfide, which are pretty flammable. This has left human scientists with two mysteries.
The first of which is why the pig manure is foaming in the first place, and why it’s only been happening in recent years. Some believe it’s caused by an enriched animal feed that has gained popularity, but tests aren’t conclusive.
The other, and more haunting question, is how do the sparks occur? If there’s no one around to set a fire, that must mean that, good god, the pigs have learned how to create fire.
… he’ll probably wonder why it smells like the first thing to ever overdose on Tylenol.
Frequent readers know that we are at war with animals everywhere. But there’s only one spot in the world where the War on Animals is an actual Syfy original movie: Guam. The teeny-tiny island nation is so overrun with brown tree snakes that they’ve wiped out nearly all — no, really: ALL — native bird species. They’re also somewhat poisonous and have attacked pets and children. And because they were introduced by accident through military cargo flights, there are no native predators to thin their numbers naturally.
The Nonhuman Rights Project, a group that can only be described as an insurgency, insists that the chimp be declared a person by a New York court so that it can live in better conditions than its “small, dank cement cage.” People, this is a war, and prisoners of war deserve decent treatment under the Geneva Convention, but we can’t start calling animals people. Because when everyone is a person, no one is a person.
If you saw a shark, capable of eating a moose, in trouble, you wouldn’t help it. Not just because you’d be aiding the enemy, but because a shark that eats moose should be exterminated. But that’s not the case in Canada.