The enemy for this battlefront? A crypotozoological mishmash of mammalian proportions.
A lone sea lion has bitten more than 14 people in one month. The sea lion has chased more from San Francisco’s Marine Mammal Center.
In the war on animals, there are no front lines, but it seems San Francisco has become a hot spot. It’s about time we flushed it out. Grab your clubs, everyone.
Just when you thought that having our skies filled with all manner of dirty birds was bad enough…prepare for the news that man’s best friend isn’t man’s best friend!
I see you over there Sci-Fi Channel, licking your chops.
From now on in China, we shall remember this day, not as a victory over the vile avian species, but as … B-Day!
A study at the Bronx Zoo (motto: Please Don’t Shoot The Animals) shows that elephants may be aware of themselves. These things can outrun us and weigh over a ton.
Folks, if there is a single greatest threat against humanity, it has to be self-aware elephants.
Those dastardly birds are after us again! Say no to cloning, otherwise we might be in for this. I mean, seriously, did you see that picture? And they’re calling it a freaking “terror bird”. Terror bird. That doesn’t exactly make you think of something warm, cuddly, and soft like a marshmallow.
Ahem. So in conclusion, we can’t let this monster be brought about again upon the world, because if we do, the terror birds win.
They started the war with the assassination of Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin, then people started exacting their revenge for the senseless killing. Now, it seems the battle has reached our shores.
A stingray off the coast of Florida leapt into a boat and stabbed a 81-year old man in the heart with a poisonous barb. Luckily, the veteran of the war on stingrays and other animals has survived.
You can’t tell this blog that attack wasn’t premeditated.