A Hispanic woman was nominated to the Supreme Court. California’s court upheld a ban on same-sex marriage. GM may possibly go out of business this week. North Korea has been shooting off short-range missiles.
None of these headlines compare to the true hot news story: an Alaskan man is now the mustache-iest man in the world.
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
To finally answer your nagging question, now it’s legal to gay marry a moose.
WE’RE STILL DOING IT!
About a week or so ago, we at SeriouslyGuys told you about how an asinine proposed law in Utah was squashed right on the cusps of being created. It looks like we have nothing to fear.
Whoever would have thought the recession would aid responsibility?
While the president of Utah’s state senate thinks he could probably get a two-thirds majority in his chamber, he’s not going to take the lead if the state house, which originated the bill, isn’t pushing for a veto. And that seems to be the case. The representative who sponsored the bill sent a letter to his colleagues sticking up for the bill, but not asking explicitly for their support of an override session or their vote in it.
Why so? Because on the back end, there’s a money issue. The legislature had canceled this month’s “interim study day” between sessions, saving about $25,000 in costs related to convening it. Like most states, Utah is pinching every penny where it can. So if the anti-game bill is worth the fight, and it isn’t, they’d have to spend the $25 grand just to take a vote. And then, if it succeeded, spend more taxpayer money in a constitutionally doomed defense of it.
May 11 is the deadline to call such a session. If money’s involved, the cheapest form of legislation will probably win.
The big meanies up in Utah decided to create a little thing called HB 353. What is HB 353, other than the worst nightmares of Satan, Hitler and John Lennon all rolled up into one? It’s a video game and movie bill brought about originally by Jack Thompson, in which stiffer fines to video game retailers and movie theaters that gave minors access to games or movies rated above their age level would be added. Also, it’s a giant leap in logic that doesn’t actually look for true accountability (i.e., most parents). So what’s the big hub-bub?
It breezed through the Utah House and Senate by wide margins and it was expected that Governor Jon Huntsman of Utah would back it as well. Not so.
“While protecting children from inappropriate materials is a laudable goal, the language of this bill is so broad that it likely will be struck down by the courts as an unconstitutional violation of the Dormant Commerce Clause and/or the First Amendment,” explained Huntsman. “The industries most affected by this new requirement indicated that rather than risk being held liable under this bill, they would likely choose to no longer issue age appropriate labels on goods and services.
“Therefore, the unintended consequence of the bill would be that parents and children would have no labels to guide them in determining the age appropriateness of the goods or service, thereby increasing children’s potential exposure to something they or their parents would have otherwise determined was inappropriate under the voluntary labeling system now being recognized and embraced by a significant majority of vendors.”
It’s a well known fact that I’m a bit of a major spelling and grammar nazi. Nonetheless, I’ve never been more happy to see sloppy writing. Well, that and some major lobbying by the video game industry. A big and hearty congratulations to everyone who helped knock the bill proposal down. You’ve earned it.
Republican state Senator Dave Schultheis does not believe that the state of Colorado should require hospitals to test pregnant women for HIV.
Is it because this could be considered some sort of invasion of privacy? No, because the screening is consensual.
Maybe it’s because pregnant women are homos? Not in the good Senator’s world!
How about because the needles used to administer the test could help spread HIV? No, that’ s a little far-fetched.
Or is it because detecting HIV would lead to treatment, giving the benefit of medical care to some unclean whore who caught AIDS? From our pages to Senator Dave’s stupid mouth!
President Obama signed his first bill today, the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act, which will grant equal pay, but only to women. Men, we’re sorry to say, will continue to not receive equal pay despite our gender, proving that
So, with a stroke of at least 12 pens — Wait, what?
“[…] Mr. Obama signed his name to the bill, using one pen for each letter. ‘I’ve been practicing signing my name very slowly,’ Mr. Obama said wryly, looking at a bank of pens before him. He handed the first pen to the bill’s chief sponsor, Senator Barbara Mikulski, Democrat of Maryland, and the last to Ms. Ledbetter”
Presidents sign their names one letter at a time to hand out souvenirs, slowing down the passage of bills? What happens when there’s an emergency anti-asteroid or -zombie bill where every second counts?
That’s why The Guys are marking the first African-American President signing the first equal pay for women bill with this limited edition President Barack H. Obama Presidential Bill-Signin’ Pen:
Coming soon to the SG Store for the low, low, historic price of $20.09.
Still-president George Bush has granted $17.4 billion to GM and Chrysler. Ford was apparently told to suck it. (The Bushman is a huge fan of Degeneration X.)
To thank us, the taxpayers who funded their bailout, GM and Chrysler executives have announced that we will all receive a brand new 2009 Corvette.
That’s one for all 301,139,247* of us. To be fair, though, only 242,677,887 of us — at most — are eligible to drive it.
*Source: The CIA World Factbook, December 18, 2008.
