In what can only be described as a new trend involving food and large bladed objects, we have more on the maddening saga of how not to express your feelings about something. This is POINTY WATCH: 2013.
Bloomington police, who said it was just a publicity stunt that Vorobyov hoped would persuade his estranged girlfriend to get back together
Vorobyov admitted throwing the money, which he had stamped with his YouTube address to direct people to it
He says he decided to throw out his “last $1,000 … to spread some holiday cheer … to make it snow money”
The chances of the three reasons all being one big happy accident are slim and none. So what’s the real reason? Who knows, but his act of charity ended in Vorobyov receiving a disorderly conduct ticket. I think the real question is just how much that’ll cost him.
Caleb Kaltenbach, pastor of Discovery Church, lived up to his church’s name when, lo and behold, he did discover blasphemy in his local Costco. The chain of wholesale retailers had labeled the Bible as fiction on its price tag!
Kaltenbach and his congregation did not remain silent. Using the almighty twitter and then by speaking directly to the priesthood at Fox News, he was able to drum up a frenzy of holy spirit and righteousness, generating threats of a boycott. As members of his church, like Shellie Dungan put it, “I was completely offended. It’s wrong, and I believe that the Bible is real.”
Ultimately, Costco apologized and relabeled the books, resolving the issue. After all, none of Kaltenbach’s parishioners have a problem with the Lord’s word being sold for profit in a large warehouse that closely resembles their own mega-temple. They just want to make sure the moneychangers use the right terminology before selling their holy book by the pallet.
China was shocked — shocked — by a skit on Jimmy Kimmel Live on Monday. Lampooning those hit-or-miss adds where an unsupervised adult asks a roundtable of kids about high-speed Internet or something, Kimmel asked kids how the United States should pay back the $1.3 trillion we owe China.
Surprisingly, not a single child on the panel could offer a balanced, nuanced analysis and solution for our deficit. One suggested, “Kill everyone in China.”
Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesman Qin Gang is demanding action from ABC, arguing that “spreading racism and hatred runs counter to the media’s social responsibility.”
Look, Gang (if we can call you that). We get that China isn’t used to having kids — what with you giving all of yours away for us to raise them — but you don’t get to tell our Hollywood parents how to raise our future drug addict media icons, OK?
“It really made me upset,” said Jennifer Warren. “It’s a holiday tradition and I hate to see people take that away from children.”
“I was really sad,” she said. “I felt like they are being a big Grinch!”
“It’s about money,” Sullivan said.
“This is wrong. They should have really thought this through. They picked the worst time of the year to do this.”
We should stop interviewing dumb people.
A trademark is a name, phrase or symbol used by a company to distinguish their goods or services from those of other companies in a similar range, preventing “brand confusion” and are only relevant in a commercial context. In 1985, Chris Van Allsburg created the children’s book The Polar Express. In 2004, Warner Bros. Pictures adapted the book for a film. The village of Deerfield, Illinois, has never been the trademark or copyright holder for The Polar Express, despite somehow holding Polar Express train rides since 1998. Despite being in the wrong, citizens of the village and supporters of the ride have managed to view being told to no longer use the name “Polar Express” as a story of them not being in the wrong.
People, don’t be a dummy. Take two seconds to come up with an original name for something. Snowtime Railroad. Bam, I just did your job for you Deerfield.
Police held an unnamed 71-year-old man for questioning at Montreal’s Trudeau International Airport after finding inside of his carry-on luggage “everything” needed to construct a bomb. Well, except explosives, which is what separates pretty much any Home Depot shopping trip and international terrorism.
They also evacuated his neighborhood to search through his home. Because there’s nothing worse than realizing you forgot to pack that one essential thing after you arrive and get detained by security. Turns out there was “nothing obvious” there.
It’s pretty clear that if tobacco, orgasms and now cookies that take more steps to eat than changing a lightbulb are more addictive than drugs … then maybe, maybe we need to reconsider what we use as our baseline measurement of addiction.
We’re not saying cocaine isn’t addictive. Just that, you know, maybe we should start comparing all other addictions to something more substantive if everything’s more addictive than cocaine.
Citing precedent, the group won with their argument that, since the New York state legislature has yet to successfully ban smoking in public, outdoor spaces, that the parks office can’t do it on their own. But, since we’re talking about the worst kind of smokers — hacktivists — they couldn’t drop their butt without grinding it into ground.
‘We will not abide being stepped onor succumb to shaming as a means to silence us by arrogant activist actors who enact a rule that could only be accomplished by ignoring the rules,’ CLASH founder Audrey Silk said in a statement.
In future news: New York’s state parks are now on fire.
Known to pull out of an social situation at a moment’s notice, the Guys don’t know a lot about babies or pregnancy. And we’ve proven on several occasions that we barely know women. (And three out of four of us are married or engaged to fully-documented women.)
So, we’ll just take it on faith from the airport police in Colombia that pregnant women just love to discuss their pregnancy and allow strangers to touch their bellies. And if they exhibit any reticence to either, then they must have something to hide.
In the case of the Bitchy Pregnant Canadian in Terminal C, it turned out that she was smuggling cocaine. So, way to go, weirdly sexist policewoman’s intuition!