Celebrity Rehab: Animal Edition

We know that animals want to kill us and rule the world, but did you know that they are also poor role models? It’s true. Just look to Russia.

Traditionally a country on our side of the war, Russians sent a chimpanzee to rehab, yes rehab, for drinking and smoking. In other words, the chimp was basically acting like the average Russian. Rather than kill the beast and be done with it, the Russkies decided to rehabilitate the addict. It’s getting ugly, folks.

Key quote: “The beer and cigarettes were ruining him. He would pester passers-by for booze,” the Komsomolskaya Pravda paper said.

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