Choosy constitutional scholars choose Four Loko battle

Remember how we warned you about Denmark’s sole Latino street gang, Four Loko, and their dangerous “stay up and puke juice?” It looks like you won’t be tempted by their wiley malt liquor wishes and cat food dreams after all.

The FDA has issued a warning to four companies, including the makers of Four Loko, giving them two weeks to remove either the caffeine or their stupid cans from our most extravagant convenience stores.

Some people are complaining that the FDA is turning this country into one giant nanny state. None of them, however, will admit to actually drinking the stuff.

One thought on “Choosy constitutional scholars choose Four Loko battle”

  1. I readily admit to drinking it. I drink it once in a while. I’m more mad at the FDA being able to unilaterally decide it can be banned. Fuck their couches. You aren’t my fucking dad.

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