Cue the global orgy

We warned you months ago that end is nigh. Well, we were unheeded: scientists still hate humanity and you–yes, you–didn’t blow up the Large Hadron Collider.

So, now those Franco-Swisso maniacs are gonna blow us up. (Damn them, damn them all to hell!)

To join the Official SeriouslyGuys End of the World Orgy, we’ll need you to sell all your worldly possessions and mail the proceeds to:

SeriouslyGuys Lube and Sunscreen Collection “Plate”
812 Obviously Fake Address
Dontreallydothis, West Dakota 29156

Remember: this is the only time we’ll ever run this event (until the next major “we’re all gonna die” media event/ratings booster), so you don’t want to pussyfoot around. You won’t want to collapse into a molecular ball of untold density any other way!