Dan Snyder is a sarcastic enigma wrapped in a $1000 suit

HTTR! is a really weird way to abbreviate “Eat a dick, Matt!” Maybe it’s Latin?

In 2019, Dan Snyder will have owned the Washington Redskins–and all the terrible decisions that organization has made–for 20 years. 20 years, people. People voted in the 2016 election who have never seen reasonably competent team ownership of the three-time NFL champions.

Of all the allegations about how Dan Snyder has dragged his favorite team to equal footing with the Cleveland Browns, none have accused him of understanding sarcasm. Satire, he certainly does not get after suing the Washington City Paper.

So, one enterprising fan tried to appeal to his Snydership with honey before pleading with him to make better decisions this year. Lifelong Redskins fan Matt Fraedrich thanked Mr. Snyder for being a true fan of the team before asking him to “please be very deliberate about the decisions that are made behind closed doors,” and, among other requests, “please give Kirk Cousins a long-term deal that makes him happy to be Redskin, even if that means making him the highest-paid player in NFL history.”

In return, Mr. Fraedrich got an autographed full-body photo of Dan Snyder.

So, does Dan Snyder not get sarcasm, thinking this “fan” really wanted his autograph? Or is he its greatest practitioner? Like any truly great act of sarcasm, intentional or not, we don’t even know anymore.