Don’t call it a remake

The biggest headline in all news important to Bryan McBournie is this huuuge Hollywood announcement:

Zac Efron will be in the new Footloose!!!1!

The plan is to modernize the 80s classic to include (presumably) abstinence pledges, new songs by the Jonas Brothers and the Baptists — led by Kevin Bacon — successfully upholding their ban on all forms of dancing except choreographed numbers.

To those of you who bought tickets to High School Musical 3, effectively unleashing this miracle of film on us:

You suck.

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