Drunken monkeys

Scientists would have you believe that we evolved from what appear to be apes. We all know this is wrong. If evolution were real, how come we aren’t all hairy and poop-flinging? Another case science will point to is booze. That’s right, booze.

In central Africa, a gorilla was found sucking on bamboo shots shoots that contained some kind of alcohol. Because it’s bamboo, we assume it was sake in there. In any case, gorillas seem to like getting drunk now. We can only assume it’s to dull the pain of knowing your days are numbered.

“Some were propping up the bar with a bleary air, while others staggered to their feet obviously hoping the mountain police would not ask them to walk in a straight line.”